Bitter but optimistic

Your good Old Uncle Bitter is back!! Just in time it seems, as this off course thread appears to be well off course, of course. Yes, I did another short stretch in rehab and, as a result, have spent some time in necessary convalescence. The good Doctor Hopping Dick applied the electrodes every meal time while I was force fed fried rice. Subsequently I cant walk past a Chinese take away without twitching and sobbing uncontrollably. The whole sorry business has impacted on my private life. My aim is now unsteady and my role as chief flogger is under threat. I am appalled that the oafish Biffen is wreaking havoc in the Asian Colonies. I may have to make a mercy dash over there to restore proper relationships. For the moment be aware that I am watching and will make any necessary interventions to restore this thread to its improper level of interlectual smartness.

Time for you to scat Biffen!

I've got the whole graveyard in my closet iv'a !

Still haven't heard from the good doc and he doesn't appear to handing out his usual indiscriminate thrashings. Is it possible the doc cavorted a little too enthusiastically during the abovementioned rites of summer and did himself a mischief?

I notice Biffen that you are very generous with my assets! I have previously refused Special any access to the Merc on the basis of his poverty. Now I'll grant you he seems a decent enough chap for one of that ilk but his need to stowaway on the "Princess" suggests little change in his state of penury.

Thank you Special. It seems you're not such a bad fellow after all. It so happens that I will making my first ever trek to Taswegia in early February so a report of your tailblazing trailblazing activities will be most helpful I'm sure.

Special, your input to this thread has been ........ err .... useful . I just need to reflect upon it for a little time. I also evidently need to drink more.

Special, you do realize you can't hitchhike to Tassie?

I doubt Biffen will be heading up country Earl. He is soft and enjoys creature comforts overmuch. Biffen is a denizen of the dark alley and dens of iniquity and rarely decamps from comfortable squalor .

You're all over it Ernie! I'm quite certain Biffen is going to Asia for reasons of pure self indulgence and pleasures of the flesh.

I would have thought it quite alimentary pineapple

Well of course not!! He's down in the barn enjoying the aircon and watching the large screen with the lads.

The cat is never in the bag at my establishment RL!

Now a question - probably best answered by Moonie or Earl Hood.. One of Uncle's many admirers produced a voucher to an eatery called Bopha Devi and I'm wondering whether or not I need to bun up to attend such a place?

Well hello Frogger! Been hiding in the swamp have you?

To all my many friends friend. To whoever might GAF about what I say - Happy Christmas! May your wine be excellent, your fantasies unlikely and your wallet undamaged.

No sane person would bb. At least not without the gear you would wear at a Chernobyl type of event.

Well if I was a painter bb, I certainly wouldn't use Biffen's SCATtergun approach.

Probably for the best Red. Biffen's tastes are, at best base and vulgar.

Haven't heard much from the good Doctor of late. I suppose he's preparing for the festive season. I understand it's a very big deal in Hopping Dicks and really draws the community together. Apparently the Summer Solstice will do that. The body painting is supposed to be quite complex but I believe the good pagans of Hopping Dicks simply get a few spray cans of Dulux from the local Bunnings and go at it furiously so that they can get straight into the naked dancing. The bizarre sexual rituals that follow are supposed to be worth a look also but evidently they have considerable difficulty finding virgins for sacrifice in those parts. It is rumoured that the good Doctor's alchemic skills provides "secret herbs and spices" which makes the barbequed possum something special when washed down with a cask of Aldi red.

For once, I see myself as sane.

From my observations Moonie that is not unusual for you.

More Gilbert and Sullivan I'd reckon. Most laywers are pirates and OD would surely be a "modern major general".

Jack, I reckon the beginning of that article is most relevant to certain posters on this thread. "The Gatwick Hotel has been home for the mad, the bad, tragic chronic substance abusers and the mentally ill."

Seems ordinaire to my good self. However, thank you for that information Dino. While there have been rumours of poverty in Romsey it is not something the genteel class have much to do with. Although good old Bitter does toss a few trinkets under the giving tree each year - they must go somewhere.