Bitter but optimistic

Argh yes Red, the joy and inspiration of reading. I often wonder where I would be without the wise counsel provided by the Marquis.

Good God Mable!! What sort of heathens are you Canucks? Even the banana maniacs on this thread are not that crazed!!!

My dog is clever but cooking is beyond him.

Well well the unfairness of our world!! Your good Uncle Bitter has been very busy of late - dealing, as an honest toiler does, with the many complexities that life throws up. And what do I find on a brief visit to Demonland ? The ever filthy Biffen has had a restful month in rehab. Three squares a day and a comfortable room with a large screen tv while I toil away. Where is the justice in that? Meanwhile, among my many manorial responsibilities, I am trying to restore neighbourly relations. My loyal hound ( the one who terrorises children on Halloween) went a tad beyond his responsibilities. He decided my neighbour's Guinea Fowl flock needed culling and ... well he proceeded to do so. I must say he displayed a righteous vigour similar to the moderators on this site. Well .... as you can guess this caused a few previous neighbourly differences to bubble to the surface again - the missing wine delivery and the "misunderstanding" with his Mrs being foremost. The honest citizens toil while the recidivists like Biffen live the high life. What a world we live in.

Who are you talking about Azz?

Now Moon I'm not sure what you're on about. I can't believe that middle age blokes with no talent hang around pubs and try to play music. Who would take them seriously ?

Nah, I'm finished with brothels Moonie. My investment properties are either going to be BDSM clubs or places for failed musicians. You know, knuckleheads who think they can play the guitar etc.

Change of topic ....Halloween. What a wonderful night I set the dog onto little kids as they come up the drive. He knocks them over, terrifies them and makes them cry. I've got a terrific picture if I can post it. Anyway back to it.

OK picket, you've had over 3 days to recover from the drug induced state that led you to post this. WTF were you trying to say?

Mable a bird told me that you have strange tastes in your libation of choice. Please clarify.

Red you appear to be [censored] up! Now I realize this is not unusual for you lawyerish types. Particularly lawyerish types who delve (frequently) into the mysteries of Redtube. However you appear to be doomed even beyond the above explanations. Swear off the Malibu before it is too late.

Perhaps, but I am a simple man Mable, easily pushed around by the currents of life. The lads are quite disappointed in me.

Well Mable, apparently the esteemed Biffen has been a little indiscreet of late and our good doctor Hopping Dick handed out a jolly good flogging and sentenced the said Biffen to a stretch of rehab.

Such thoughts!! I knew it!!! You're that shiftless lawyer that "Rake" was made about!!!! Come on Redtube fess up!!!

Why would I want to do that RL?

Well I haven't made any RL.

Mable just read my posts for the time you have been having a kip. They are witty, informative, wonderfully literate and contain the only important and edifying information you need to know.

Well Sloon, I realise this response is too late to help you but I have to say I don't really get your problem. I have some experience in gyms but am currently banned - an unfortunate misunderstanding with lycra and traditional forms of greeting - but I digress. I have to say that I found a workout more than sufficient - a pre-workout please explain. Now as to the "my buzzer" matter, well that actually is what I think got me expelled. Anyway, I am clearly out of touch with current gym protocols( which is for the best I think). However any enlightenment you can provide Sloon will be appreciated. PS If Ernie (the dead bastard) has anything to say please ignore him.

Good god is that really you Mable? It must be true then, you Canucks actually hibernate - like the bears!

Thanks for that Ethan, you just rekindled some mental images that I thought were well and truly repressed.

We'll keep it quiet Earl (just between you and me) but about those travel expenses ...........................?

Thank you picket.

Due to an odd set of circumstances, I was just listening to SEN. ( As far as I can tell that experience only sucked away a few of my remaining brain cells) Anyway to my point. I learnt something new - or at least partially learnt something new. To wit. It seems that during the course of a game of soccer one can be "tunnelled". I would greatly appreciate an explanation of this hitherto unknown (to me) phenomenon. PS. This is not a fart joke RL.

Maybe just plain stupid? It's not possible Jack ............................................................................ surely.

I think their makeup is a tad overdone Moonie but love their intent. I use the dog to frighten the local children every Halloween . Wonderful spectator sport after a few reds.