Nathan Jones's Hairdresser

Fifty points down at the half way mark after six successive heavy losses; come on, don't be so mean spirited - we just got King Kong off our back. Even if Fremantle's scapl dangling from our belt doesn't excite you much, we did turn things around in the second half and play some direct, exhilarating footy. Enjoy the win.

And don't forget '78 under Dennis Jones; that was an absolute shocker of a season culminating in yet another wooden spoon. Dennis Jones coached us for that one season and then (thankfully) sank completely from sight. Perhaps history is set to repeat itself.

LEAVE MILLER ALONE. Miller's only kicked 36 goals or there abouts in his career; for mine he just doesn't present well enough at centre half forward and he does tend to fumble overhead marks which is definitely not what you want from your key forward. Yes, he's aggressive and committed, but he's never really done the job at CHF in my humble opinion - not consistently anyway. Since we're up shite creek in a barbed wire canoe and without a paddle right now, is there any harm in giving Rivers a crack in the same position? He marks well, he's mobile, reads the play well, and he's one of the few blokes right now having a fair dinkum dip. I reckon Rivers would give us a bit more shape and direction if he was at CHF.

In that case I'll go for 17k - I reckon a thousand pro-Tibet protesters will turn up as well. Isn't there a fair bit of red and blue in Tibet's flag? They could sit with the cheer squad ...

Can I state the bleedin' obvious? All the off field innovation in the world is next to useless if the team doesn't perform on the field. When the team wins the media shelve all this 'no identity, no support' garbage because we get people through the turnstiles and there's interest in what the team is doing on the park. The Doggies right now are a good example; their membership numbers are down on ours, their finances are in worse shape than ours, but the media virtually ignore these matters because they're playin' good footy. As soon as we climb the ladder (admittedly that could take a while) the doom and gloom talk will disappear. I supose it's a matter of 'if you win it, they will come'. Note too that Demetriou has insisted that the Gold Coast team must have 20,000 'prospective' members - that'll make it hard to shelve or merge any Victorian club with more than 20,000 members.

Not a case of look like Tarzan play like Jane; more a case of look like Tarzan play like Cheetah. Has been a major disappointment over the last few years.

Does it go something like this? Chapter One: Sack Bailey; Chapter Two: Neitz must retire; Chapter Three: Robertson's music career and its affect on his form; Chapter Four: Turnovers; Chapter Five: Turnovers; Chapter Six: White past it; Chapter Seven: Unaccountability; Chapter Eight: Turnovers; Chapter Nine: Membership numbers ... Read it all before ...

Pity Mark Jamar didn't whack Judd like I hoped... No one whacked Judd, no one got so much as a hold of his jumper all day. I was listening to SEN's coverage today and Luke Darcy got the opening, before the bounce 'argy bargy' exactly right. Out rushed the Dees to make a statement, to flex a bit of muscle, to show that we're fair dinkum by taking on ... Matthew Kruezer. Judd? No way. He spurned the club, slapped us in the face, turned his back on the club he supported as a kid but we decide to make a statement by going after a string bean kid playing his third or fourth game. Surely Judd should have copped a bit of aggression? Surely Judd should've been put under the pump? Darcy thought we were weak to try and pressure a rookie instead of going after a more senior player and he was right - the pre-match show of strength just highlighted how far off the pace we are right now. Our decision making today was terrible - even before the game began.

Box Hill's centreman, Alister Neville, did the last pre-season with us but wasn't drafted. Neville has a damned good VFL pedigree (Coburg B&F, best on ground against WA last year); it will be interesting to see how he goes against Sandy. The bloke is a ball magnet and his disposal is very good - seems to me that we could use a player of his calibre right now ...

Neville was judged best on ground in the state match against Western Australia this year, he won a B&F at Coburg, came third in the 2005 B&F at Box Hill when injury sidelined him for half the season; and was Vic Metro vice-captain in the 2003 Teal Cup. Neville’s got a good footy pedigree but he does lack pace and this seems to have kept him off an AFL list thus far. But the bloke can play: he’s a good mark, he reads the play well, and he uses the ball cleverly. Neville reminds me a bit of Andrew Leoncelli and let’s not forget that Leoncellii was judged too slow and not up to it by Carlton. Plenty of good players have had to battle hard and overcome rejections to get on an AFL list, to get on Melbourne’s list for that matter: Shane Woewodin, Brett Lovett, Guy Rigoni, Anthony and James McDonald, Nathan Carroll just to name a few. I reckon Neville could well be worth a selection in a couple of weeks time.

I reckon we have the wrong Neville on our list. Alister Neville from Coburg is a real goer: BOG against WA in the state game; a B&F at Coburg; a runner up B&F at Box Hill; Teal Cup vice-captain and only 21 years old. The bloke can play and we could definitely do worse than pick him up with a late pick.

I'm with Jack on this small matter: the Hawks were trailing all day and my recollection is that they hit the front just before our game finished (hence the cheer - everyone was listening to a tranny whilst watching the game) and then the Hawks won a few moments after the Melbourne v Footscray match finished. That game was the best game I ever witnessed; the roar on the outer wing from the Melbourne faithful when Robbie Flower led the team out was nothing short of exhilarating. The match was a tight affair and early in the third quarter we seemed up against it. I remember Stephen Newport playing well and Warren Dean staging for a free in the last quarter and not getting it (I was after the ump's blood at the time but the TV replay proved the white maggot right - for once). Spalding and Viney played well, the team dug deep when it mattered most - geez, the whole match was fanbloodytatsic as twenty three years of disappointment and frustration were finally and magnificently expunged.

The Neville we should have on our list is Alister (Alistair?) Neville the Coburg player. He was BOG against WA in the recent state game, won Coburg's B&F a year or two ago, did the same at Box Hill before that, was a Vic Metro vice-captain - he's a bloody good player and well worth a punt. The guy's a good mark, reads the play beautifully, uses the ball really well - reminds me of Brett Lovett and Lovett was a bloke who was knocked back a few times before he got on an AFL list. Once he got there he certainly made the most of the opportunity and I reckon this Neville would do the same thing.

The Neville in question is Alistair Neville: Trinity Grammar, Vic Metro Teal Cup Vice-Captain, good Box Hill and Coburg player (won a B & F at Coburg I think), but for some reason he has never been picked up by an AFL club. We could do worse than have a look at him I'd have thought; he seems to be one of those good players who slips through the recruiting net like Davey, Lovett, Rigoni, McDonald etc.

Way back in '79 we did get the mother of all hidings from Fitzroy out there at Arctic Park, but I think I'm right in remembering that we climbed up off the floor and beat the Bombers at the MCG the very next Saturday. That's a fair turn around: 190 point loss to a four or five goal win in the space of a week.

Are they both innocent? To quote Danny Frawley (and the AFL tribunal?): "Yeah, no ..."

The 2005 win against Geelong was a beauty. The win against the Weagles in '98 (way, way back when the West Coast lads just popped steroids) was another fantastic win against the odds. We'd been pumped something awful the previous three weeks: we were undermanned, injury riddled, down on confidence, and facing the league powerhouse on their mud heap - and the Dees bloody well won it. Todd Viney played a beauty; a very raw Russell Robertson gave John Worsfold the run around - it was a fan-bloody-tastic win. And history does have a habit of repeating itself, doesn't it?

Sure things are a little tough right at the moment: Neitz and Robertson, our two best forwards, are out for the next four weeks; McLean's also got a month in the stands; Bartram's injured; Dunn's two weeks away; TJ and Flash are completely out of form; the whole side has less confidence than the Taliban's Sexual Harrassment Officer, but let's look on the bright side - we play Geelong this weekend. Now if anyone can play us back into form it's got to be the Corio Bay Handbaggers. Those blokes are experts at snatching defeat from the jaws of victory; just think back to last year when we skinned 'em good and proper after having dropped the first three matches of the season. Not much has changed down at sleepy hollow since then: their mid field is OK but hardly West Coastish; Mooney and little Ablett are their only dangerous forwards; Ottens is a prize dud; their defense is missing Harley and Steven King's also out now that I think about it. So fortune and form have well and truly deserted us at the minute, but the good ol' Cats cross our path this Sunday and that may just bring us some good luck for a change.

Another addition to the list: 1984 - a bloke named Ray Holden came across from Western Australia. He looked the goods but just didn't deliver.