Nathan Jones's Hairdresser

Ease up there, fella. I bought my daughter a Melbourne jumper when she was two, got her a junior membership not long after, took her with me to see the Dees when she was about eight – and she repays me by following the Pies. Her cousins took her to a few Collingwood games when she was entering her rebellious teenage years, the Pies won, the Dees stunk, her cousins were cool – you can join the dots from there. At least my two sons follow Melbourne; two out of three ain’t bad, is it?

And whenever we were stiffed for the AA (Yze, Woey, Neitz etc) it was always said that the team rewarded consistent performance over a couple of years. Now there are 15 newly minted AAs - great if this is the new 'policy' but again totally inconsistent. As usual conflicts abound with media and the AFL. Pathetic. Speaking of Melbourne players being ‘stiffed’ by the AA selectors over the years, how would Russell Robertson feel today? 73 goals in 2005 wasn’t enough to get him in the side as a small forward (Johnson got in with 41 or 42 from memory), Rioli gets in this year with 35. I know Rioli’s meant to apply a lot of defensive pressure in the forward fifty, but he’s been awfully inconsistent this season in a forward line that has been red hot all year. Geez, 73 goals would’ve won the Coleman Medal this year. Robbo was more than stiff in 2005 – he was robbed.

You mount a convincing, reasoned, well-argued case. In 2010 we won eight and a half games; Frawley wasn’t under the hammer anywhere near as much as he is in 2012 andhe was able to be a real springboard from defence. But, given the fact that he’s fighting an uphill battle every week this season, and is regularly pitted against taller and stronger opponents who are spoon fed the ball thanks to our non-existent midfield, I still reckon he does a good job for us and is one of our better players. I repeat, today’s effort is a prime example: keeping Petrie to three goals (one kicked on Sellar) given the circumstances was darned good stuff.

Whilst I generally agree with you, I can't accept that Frawley's gone backwards. Our midfield is deplorable, the opposition gorge themselves on the Sherrin, week after week our defenders find themselves under more pressure than a deep dea bathysphere. So, given the fact that he's facing a footballing tsunami every weekend, I reckon Frawley's doing fine and cops unwarranted criticism. Today's match is a good example. North had 62 inside 50s, Petrie, who's red-hot at the moment, kicked four, one of them on Sellar (good match-up, eh?) in the opening minute of the game - for mine, Frawley did a good job against a fine player in trying conditions. If we had more players like number eight, we'd be in much better shape.

Sorry Range Rover! Meekest M performance I've seen this year(Believe this is saying something!!!). Kangaroos did precisely whatever they wanted to and turned it on at the flick of a switch.. Melbourne only scored when Kangas rested. How long is MN contract? Surely we don't have to endure 2 more years of this. Neeld has shown bad judgement from the time he started at Melbourne. Who on earth would want to come to Melbourne under Neeld? Players simply are not playing for him. He's not a motivator. Players are not passionate. Final score did not reflect the vast gap between the two teams. Sad SAD. Spot on. The coach is a dud. The captaincy decision was just a howler of a mistake - and to add insult to injury, the top two in the 2011 B&F were ditched from the leadership group. Go figure. Neeld's handling of Watts, Martin (our no laughing policy), Nicholson (how long did it take him to play this bloke?), Moloney, and Petterd has been awful, and the pressure he's put on Trengove and Grimes' shoulders has surely added to their disappointing seasons. Neeld's media performances are all over the place - and whilst a poor media profile is not necessarily a hanging offence - his erratic media performances certainly suggest that that he's just not a great communicator. And then we've got this awful game plan that's been xeroxed from the Lexus/Westpac/whatever it's called right now Centre's front office and applied with no thought or modification to our list. Put it all together and what have you got? The rubbish served up today - today and for almost the entire season.

6 Martin 5 McDonald 4 Sylvia 3 Frawley - beat Pavlich in just about every 50/50; terrible mid-field (again!) and no pressure up the ground left him dreadfully exposed at times. 2 Bail 1 Garland - back where he belongs.

If we sign up Fevola or Hall for a one off appearance for the club, we might drag along an extra couple of thousand. But I reckon fourteen thousand on Saturday - tops.

Sounds like a good prospect, but West Perth, eh? Ray Holden, Craig Turley, and Craig Smoker all came from the Western Australian red and blue mob and whilst the latter two had their moments, none of these players really had a major impact over here. Thrice bitten, twice shy? Actually, come to think of it, have we had all that much much joy recruiting from the whole bloody state over the years? Spalding was a beauty but we lost him after four or five years. Darren Bennett had a couple of good seasons before he became NFL happy.

Jim Stynes showed incredible heart both on the ground and off it. He was a champion through and through and his legacy will never be forgotten by Melbourne supporters, football followers, and those many people whose lives he touched away from the field. All class, a marvellous man. RIP.

I met a bloke from Independence Missouri in NZ a couple of years ago. He complained about his dreadful baseball team and I whinged about the Dees, we had more than a few Speights together (I think that was the name of the beer) and we ended up swapping caps so, for better or worse, I 'root' for the Kansas City Royals. And the Royals, who've come last in their division the last few years, got done 19 - 1 by the Indians the other day; there's not been much 'better' to the deal really. I wonder if the bloke I met is on a baseball site at the moment posting about his favourite AFL team. I doubt it.

Davis was just a great bloke: his love of the game and his contagious, enthusiastic humour will be missed. He was a true gentleman who made our great game just that little bit more special. RIP.

The past 5 years have been dreadfull. I don't know about you, but I could see the list failings & the pitifull soft unphysical efforts we were putting in with cheap kicks collecter on the back pocket boundary followed by a little run & long bomb to over the wing, only to see it come strait back. All we had was Neita to admire. Just biding time as Yze, Robbo, Green, White, Neita all just played out time in their careers. Whilst we didn't develope our kids well with good facilities or... Green just playing out his career? You're awfully harsh there; Brad Green has been a shining light over the last three dark and depressing years, he's racked up 200 games for the club, and he chose club loyalty over bigger bucks a couple of years ago - he deserves a little more than this sour cynicism. Actually, the other blokes you mention deserve better too. AFL is tough and demanding stuff: Yze, Robbo, White, and Neitz all did the club proud and gave everything they had - they should be afforded more respect. And another thing: 2006 saw us beat St Kilda in the Elimination Final. The last three years have been tough and unpleasant but let's not add to the misery by ignoring or forgetting the success we have experienced.

We've been a poor side for the last three years; we've got a lot of youngsters coming through but they're unproven, they're developing, and they have hardly set the world on fire of late. We need to start moving in the right direction, we need to start getting some wins under our belt. So, if a proven ball winner and a classy player like Ball is available, I'd have thought that taking him with pick 18 - if he's still available of course - is a no-brainer. Ball is the best available player, we desperately need good players - take him. Collingwood may well be his preferred destination, but the bloke is a professional footballer; we pick him, we pay him, he plays. O’Keefe didn’t want to play for Sydney this year, he tried to move south and it didn’t work out so he reluctantly pulled on the red and white and eventually won the '09 B & F. These blokes are professional players. We can pick three quality kids in the National Draft and then get a proven and much admired 25 year old with our fourth pick. Just do it.

This is a pretty shallow draft by all accounts and Ball is a class player with at least five seasons to offer; if he nominates for the national draft we should go for him with pick 18. And Ball’s a professional footballer; if we pick him up in the national draft, we pay Luke Ball to play and he does so to the best of his considerable ability. Ryan O’Keefe didn’t want to play for the Swans this year but he had to and he won a B & F. Ball is a class player, we don’t have many of them, we do have plenty of draft picks so we should use one to secure him.

You left out missing easy shots at goal; Miller chokes when he gets round to having a set shot - any sort of shot - on goal. For what it's worth, I think Robbo's right; he could have been a good mentor for our younger forwards and he showed after a twelve month interruption to his career (no pre-season!) that can still take a mark, offer a strong lead, and kick a goal. Let's face it, Jurrah looked real promising, but really Robbo was the only other Melbourne forward who looked like doing any sort of damage this season. Robbo gave his all for this club over the past thirteen years and gets turned away after kicking the most goals for the season and being told that he's in our best 22. No wonder he's a bit cranky. Maybe his biggest problem was that he didn't like deliberately losing footy matches.

I can’t believe that Robbo’s return from injury and the great form he displayed against the best full back in the competition hasn’t generated any interest on this site. Still I suppose it’s better to question Morton’s commitment, spit at Cameron Bruce, slag off at Johnson, rub Bate’s nose in it, and complain about the weekend dietary habits of some of our players rather than salute the courage and commitment of a marvellous player. It was great to see number 24 out there on Sunday.

Here we (don't) go again; Port is odds on to run all over us in the second half. Green has been tremenous, Maloney's battled hard, Davey has had plenty of the ball, and Rivers as done more than his share - really, we've had enough of the pill but once again our general field kicking is atrocious. We've got to show some grit over the next two quarters and not let this match develop into the usual AAMI shellacking.

In 2008 we played like a bunch of Volvo drivers.

To his credt Farmer insisted that Freo deal with us; he didn't want to leave us high and dry, so we got a first round pick for The Wizz in what is generally considered to be the strongest draft of all. We traded pick 17 and 41 to Geelong for Bizzell; Geelong drafted James Kelly with pick 17 and Henry Playfair with pick 41. The 2001 'superdraft' was a disaster for us: while other teams were gorging themselves silly on quality players we picked up Molan, Rogers, Armstrong, Bizzell (losing Farmer in the process), and Miller. Although, now that I think of it, we also off loaded Grgic in that draft ...

Agreed. Or we could do much the same thing with Stefan Martin. He seems to read the game well, has a good pair of hands, could stretch a few defences.

That grab was taken against Jared Brennan; pretty good effort that - and a promising debut.

valenti was pretty ordinary... i'd still persist with him though my votes were 6. Green 5. Miller 4. Whealen 3. Sylvia 2. Bruce 1. cj

When we played Geelong earlier this year, Mike Sheahan compared our list to Geelong's and reckoned that we didn't have one A grade player and only (from shaky memory) three B+ players. Ungenerous and mean spirited of him I thought, moreso because it's probably true. But if you turn the ratings table on Sheahan, how does he rate amongst his brethren? For what it's worth, I'd rate him a B+ footy writer - good but not great, always hard on the Dees, nearly always toeing the AFL line. Caroline Wilson's an A: good investigative reporter. Got a nose for news, speaks her mind. That said, I haven't forgiven her for successfully campaining against 'The Voice of the G' for refering to Richmond in '98 as the Richmond Netball team. Robert Walls is an A: interesting, good analyst of the game. Rohan Connelly is a B: annoys me, constantly criticizes our supporters, articles usually an exercise in the bleedin' obvious. Gary Lyon is an A when he talks or writes seriously about the game - something he should do more often. Trevor Grant's not bad either: B+. And I quite like Patrick Smith because he's a sour smart arse: A. Any other rankings?

Too right, Brock looked as if he was wrapped in cellophane or glad wrap or some such plastic stuff. Cripes, maybe there are a few blokes down at the Hellfire Club who are spicing up their sessions by donning the clash guernsey as we speak. And if those blokes are really in to humiliation and degredation and being dominated and the like, well, they could do far worse than whack on the clash jumper and then turn up to one of our games. They'll get all humiliation and degredation they desire and at a reasonable price too - unless, of course, they decide they want something to eat. Or have a beer.