Dee-monic

All credit to the undermanned Saints. Imagine what would have happened if we had lost Petracca in the first minute, quickly followed by May and Viney. Yes, we were a mix of good and bad, but May and Petracca were awesome against pretty smart opposition. Two superb pressure goals from acute angles by the underrated Melksham. But what on earth does Goodwin do about Kozzie? On that showing he'd be lucky to be an emergency for Casey.

6 Petracca - nightmare for defenders. 5 May - rock solid throughout. 4 Viney - what a workhorse. 3 Melksham - two crucial goals from acute angles. 2 Salem - our Mr Cool. 1 Sparrow - did the hard yards. Minus 10 - Kozzie. Has he got off-field problems?

Selection of Spargo and Melksham has been much criticized. Both are doing far better than the much-vaunted Kozzie. It's baffling and frustrating because we all know how dynamic Kozzie can be.

Is Kozzie asleep? He seems to be jogging around in a perpetual daze.

Now here is a dilemma. If we lose to St Kilda, not impossible on our current form, and the Bulldogs beat Collingwood tonight (Friday), we will be out of the top four and possibly even out of the top six by the end of the round. Does this mean, ghastly as the prospect is, that we need to barrack for the Pies tonight?

Sensible changes. Spargo is no worldbeater but unlike Chandler is adept at finding space in the forward 50 and has good disposal skills. Woewodin has earned a start and Jordon will surely be a huge improvement on Harmes. The bad news about Oliver has opened the door for Jordon to prove he is worth persevering with. Van Rooyen for BBB is probably the only other change that might have been considered. At least we now know that Goodwin has apparently decided that Petty's place is definitely in the backline.

If Oliver had come back and re-injured his hamstring, the club would have been blamed. If he stays out longer than we all hoped, the club still gets it in the neck. I know it's frustrating, but in my view the medical staff have a much better understanding of when he will be ready than non-expert posters on this site. Given Goodwin's ultra-cautious approach to selection and tactics, I don't expect many changes. Maybe he will bring back Tomlinson and send Petty forward again. Jordon surely has earned a recall and almost anyone would have to be an upgrade on Harmes and ANB after their performances against GWS.

Permutations galore are being offered on ins, outs and formation. Sadly, none of them can hide the fact that delivery to our forwards has been poor, the forward line is itself dysfunctional with consistently poor goalkicking, and in Oliver's absence players like Harmes, ANB, Chandler and Jordon have failed to lift their game. Then there is the enigma of Pickett --- brilliant touches now and again, interspersed with periods of near-complete anonymity. The Gawn-Grundy combination has not been as effective as hoped, and TMac, despite his critics, has really been missed. Goodwin seemingly can't make up his mind whether Petty is a forward or a back, and he seems afraid to try any of Casey's young guns such as Woewodin. Van Rooyen has potential but at present we simply don't have a Hawkins type forward who can crash packs to take marks, so surely there must be a plan B apart from simply launching long bombs into a congested area. Even without our best player, Oliver, there is plenty of talent in the squad, but Goodwin can't seem to find a way to make us less predictable (or more accurate in front of goal). Never mind top-four chances, defeat to the Saints could see us on the brink of slipping out of the top eight. Over to you, Goody...........

6 Viney - phenomenal work-rate. 5 Bowey - clean and solid in the wet. 4 May - mostly in control. 3 Petracca - but he still can't kick straight. 2 Sparrow - did the hard yards. 1 Salem - usual cool distribution. Minus votes for most of the others.

I know the conditions were slippery, but if that had been a match between two struggling teams in the VFL, you would still have described Melbourne's forward line as pathetic. Brown past it, Smith below par, Melksham now just a journeyman, Langers and Hunter ineffective, Pickett charging about aimlessly, Harms a liability, Gawn-Grundy mix not working, and to cap off all the woeful goalkicking Viney missed a straight-forward set shot which would probably have sealed a win. Most of Bowey's teammates could have learned a lesson from the nuggety little guy on how to play wet-weather football. Goodwin's attacking plan A: bomb it in long to a heavily congested pack. Goodwin's attacking plan B: bomb it in long to a heavily congested pack. Goodwin's attacking plan C: bomb it in long to a heavily congested pack. If Fritsch is out for an extended period, we are seriously in danger of missing finals altogether. Let us pray Oliver is fit for next week.

I know the conditions were slippery, but if that had been a match between two struggling teams in the VFL, you would still have described Melbourne's forward line as pathetic. Brown past it, Smith below par, Melksham now just a journeyman, Langers and Hunter ineffective, Pickett charging about aimlessly, Harms a liability, Gawn-Grundy mix not working, and to cap off all the woeful goalkicking Viney missed a straight-forward set shot which would probably have sealed a win. Most of his teammates could have learned a lesson from nuggety little Bowey on how to play wet-weather football. Goodwin's attacking plan A: bomb it in long to a heavily congested pack. Goodwin's attacking plan B: bomb it in long to a heavily congested pack. Goodwin's attacking plan C: bomb it in long to a heavily congested pack. If Fritsch is out for an extended period, we are seriously in danger of missing finals altogether. Let us pray Oliver is fit for next week.

Does Harmes know which team he is playing for?

Absolutely right. Silly me.

What a horror show! I know conditions weren't great, but against a Cats team without Dangerfield and Cameron we produced errors galore, hardly any midfield craft, uncharacteristic defensive muddles and constant unproductive long bombs into an inaccurate forward line. And apart from Oliver and the unlucky Tomlinson, that was virtually the best 22 we can muster. It does not bode well for September unless we can fix some glaring problems.

Kozzie wandering around in no man's land most of the first quarter. A few others need to lift their game too.

Puzzling to see Tomlinson dropped after a standout performance against quality opposition. Unless the plan is to move Petty back into defence, it doesn't make sense. Either way, it sends a signal to Tomlinson that if he wants regular AFL football he will have to find a new home next season. I reckon he's entitled to feel miffed for such a harsh call. Spargo, on the other hand, has been surviving on the edge for some time.

You see the glass as half empty but I prefer to regard it as half full. In the considerable gap left by the absence of Oliver, Petty and Hibberd it was also just one of those nights when everyone had the goalkicking yips or we would have won much more comfortably. The real test comes in the next two games, against The Pies and Cats, and I would be inclined to suspend judgment until then. I was actually quite encouraged, for example, by the coolness of young McVee, strong contested work by van Rooyen and Salem looking sharp again.

Yes, we deserved to win but all those set-shot woes and clanger kicks could have been costly but for a strong all-round defensive effort. Encouraging to see Salem getting back to his best, along with improved clearance work. Crossed fingers that Oliver will be fit to face Collingwood. With Sparrow putting in a strong effort tonight, it will be interesting to see who drops out of the midfield mix. Joel Smith could be the unlucky one.

6 Petracca - what a workhorse. 5 McVee - tidy and composed. 4 May - always in control. 3 Salem - classy showing. 2 Gawn - much improved on last week. 1 Van Rooyen - strong performance. Bonus mark: Bowey until his injury.

Awful disposal from both teams. Luckily Carlton have been even worse than us. I wouldn't want to watch the slaughter if we produce this standard against Collingwood.

Points to ponder: Is TMac the slowest player in the AFL? Can we afford to play Pickett, Spargo and Chandler all in the same team? Is repeatedly landing hopeful long bombs inside 50 really a smart tactic? Did anyone keep count of our stream of clanger kicks? Forget top four. On that performance we'll be struggling to make the top eight.

6 Petracca - spirited performance. 5 Sparrow - worked tirelessly. 4 Brayshaw - but his brother outshone him. 3 Bowey - small but solid. 2 Salem - but he is nowhere near his best yet. 1 Grundy - won most of his ruck battles.

6 May - kept us in the game during that dreadful first half. 5 Petracca - based on the second half only. 4 Oliver - also lifted his game after halftime. 3 Fritsch - at least he can kick straight. 2 Grundy - was better than Max on the night. 1 Rivers, but hard to choose on a poor night for many.

Moans about the umpires or van Rooyen's moment of madness miss the point. In three quarters we were outplayed by a better side who deserved to win. But for Steven May, we could have been wiped out by halftime. At least Petracca, in particular, and Oliver lifted in the third quarter, and Salem will be better for the run, but Picket seemed lost in the wet and several others went missing in action too. Why no tag was put on Butters as he ran us ragged remains a mystery.

Fumbling, stumbling, bumbling and so far utterly humbling. But at least, thanks to Port missing a few chances, we're still hanging on by the skin of our teeth.