NOBBLED BY NORTH NEAR NARRE WARREN

[Demonland 74,467]

by Whispering Jack

So that's it. The first ball of the 2008 has yet to be kicked, handballed or bounced in anger and the Melbourne Football Club is "hapless". The headlines are screaming that the Roos are "too good for hapless Demons" after their 51-point loss to North Melbourne in their final NAB Challenge match – the club's fourth such dismal effort on the trot and in all that time they've produced what? One decent quarter of football where there was some semblance of system in contrast to a reprise of the bilge that was served up to supporters last year.

That nightmare scenario is only part of the prelude to the football season in games that tankfully (sorry, Freudian slip) don't really count for anything but pride, bragging rights and an appreciation of what might transpire in the future but that future sure looks bleak if yesterday's 22.13.145 to 14.10 94 loss to North Melbourne at Casey Fields (located somewhere between Cranbourne abd Narre Warren) is any indication.

Those early games could easily be ignored because, after all, the team that was put on the ground was bereft of most of the club’s so-called "star" players. However, as they've started filtering back into the team, it appears as if the "stars" are making little or difference to the team's performance – they are barely twinkling as the team is being smashed out of the middle; the rucks are ineffective and the midfield is too one-dimensional, one paced and generally beaten to the ball. The forwards seem too static and predictable, the defenders under enormous pressure. Skills and confidence are down; the opposition looks bigger, stronger and faster and attacks the ball with greater desire and ferocity. At least that gives new coach Dean Bailey plenty to work with in the next fortnight as he seeks to right the sinking ship!

What can I say? Nathan Jones was great in the first quarter and the sole reason why the scores were at virtual level pegging at the first break. He was shifted around after that, seen mainly in defence and his effectiveness was more limited. Brock McLean had an ordinary first quarter and got better but made too many errors of judgement (as if his off field conduct is starting to reflect on his play). James McDonald was his usual self but did much on his own and had little back up. Brent Moloney showed up well in patches but he's so predictable with his delivery of the football. Colin Sylvia was fired up, played some good football, laid some great tackles but seemed to be in distress when he came off halfway through the last quarter.

Robbo didn't really get out of first gear until reported (it was a pathetic report by the green maggot that highlighted the fact that if there’s one thing in football more hapless than the Demons then it's the umpiring) while David Neitz was always in reverse. On what I witnessed yesterday, the decision to retain his services as skipper is looking a pretty ordinary one.

Bailey will have to make some more decisions in the not too distant future. I anticipate the first of these will see the removal of at least one, maybe two of the club's more experienced players from the senior team. The club won't progress with players in its ranks who can't think or move at the pace necessary for the game or who are just plain too lazy to do so.

Fortunately, there is hope for the start of the season with the impending return of defenders Jared Rivers, Clint Bartram and Matthew Whelan along with Paul Wheatley and Lynden Dunn. All of these players have been nursed through the summer months and might be a trifle underdone for the start of the new season but the temptation will be there to take some risks and play them from the get go.

It's only by taking risks, and removing those who have been tried tested and failed particularly through the pre season that the club can go forward. Who dares, wins and the coach who doesn't dare will continue to be looking after a hapless bunch for a long, long time.

North Melbourne 6.4.40 11.7.73 18.10.118 22.13.145

Melbourne 6.3.39 8.4.52 9.8.62 14.10.94

Goals

North Melbourne: A Edwards 4 H McIntosh 2 L Thomas 2 C Jones 2 N Thompson 2 M Campbell 2 D Hale 2 D Harris S Grant A Simpson B Ross L Brown B Harvey.

Melbourne: R Robertson 4 I Weetra 2 M Newton 2 S Buckley D Neitz C Sylvia A Davey A Wonaeamirri P Johnson.

Best

North Melbourne: H McIntosh A Edwards A Simpson L Thomas B Harvey A Swallow.

Melbourne: N Jones S Buckley J McDonald A Davey.

Injuries: North Melbourne: Nil. Melbourne: M Bate (hamstring).

Reports: R Robertson (Melbourne) by field umpire D Sully for making forceful front-on contact to A Swallow (North Melbourne) in the fourth quarter.

Umpires: S McBurney H Kennedy D Sully.