BRUISE FREE by The Oracle

[Demonland 70,902]

The noise surrounding Melbourne’s 2023 performances to date suggests the club is poised to again play a part in the AFL’s September action as one of the “flag favourites”, a situation not all that much different to last year when it started off with a 10-match winning streak but finished losing more than half the remaining games in the run home and into the finals.

This time around, it’s six W’s from eight matches with the Round 1 victory over the Bulldogs being the only one over a current top eight side. The club has monstered some of the lowly teams, lost to the Bombers in Adelaide and struggled last week against the admittedly greatly improved Gold Coast Suns on their home turf. But if we’re looking for answers as to where the club is really headed in 2023, this week’s fixture might not be very helpful.

The bottom-of-the-ladder Hawks haven’t exactly set the world alight - their only win being a 19-point victory against North Melbourne at UTAS Stadium. In their last outing they were thrashed by Fremantle at Optus Stadium much to the enjoyment of some of their fans who are fixated on the idea of drafting everyone’s favourite No. 1 pick Harley Reid as their salvation. Little wonder that nobody is expecting a classic contest at the ungodly hour of 4.35pm on Saturday evening.

Last Saturday night, I was stuck with a group of people watching the coronation of King Charles III and I managed to talk them into a few moments respite from the pageantry to watch the football. We settled on the game between Fremantle and Hawthorn at Optus Stadium which, on reflection was a mistake because the standard of the fare on offer, particularly from the Hawks, was so mediocre that everyone suddenly turned into a monarchist and nobody objected to reverting to watching the cavalcade of military uniforms, choirs and unintelligible praying back at the Abbey. 

Still, I had seen enough of the Hawks. Like the Kangaroos and the Eagles, they are causing the AFL some embarrassment this season and the powers that be need to do something about a situation whereby three constituent clubs are uncompetitive one third of the way into the season. 

Every game of football is different. You have to respect your opponent and I do trust that the Demons will respect the Hawks on Saturday evening. They do play well for at least half a game every week and are expecting a couple of handy players back in Luke Breust and Changkuoth Jiath after they were “managed” last week (once upon a time this practice was called “tanking” and massive fines were imposed). 

However, I don’t think the Hawks have the staying power or the depth of talent to mix it with the Demons even if the AFL is trying to manage their young guns namely key forward Jacob van Rooyen via its Tribunal and in doing so, making the game totally bruise free. 

So even if they move in the direction to where the game is heading by donning tutus and wearing lipstick and makeup, I’m tipping the Demons to win this one by 49 points.

THE GAME

Hawthorn v Melbourne at the MCG Saturday 13 May, 2023 at 4.35pm

HEAD TO HEAD

Overall Hawthorn 87 wins Melbourne 80 wins 1 draw

At the MCG Hawthorn 46 wins Melbourne 40 wins 1 draw

Last 5 meetings Hawthorn 0 wins Melbourne 4 wins 1 draw

The Coaches Mitchell 0 wins Goodwin 0 wins 

THE LAST TIME THEY MET

Melbourne 13.13.91 defeated Hawthorn 11.15.81 in Round 7, 2022 at The MCG

Simon Goodwin and five players were ruled out of the game under Covid19 health & safety protocols but that failed to prevent the Demons from continuing their winning run despite a goalless final term. Max Gawn was outstanding in the ruck. Oliver and Petracca were irrepressible in the midfield.

TEAMS 

HAWTHORN 

B J. Sicily S. Frost J. Weddle
HB F. Maginness S. Mitchell J. Blanck J. Impey
C C. Nash J. Newcombe K. Amon
HF J. Worpel J. Koschitzke C. Wingard
F D. Moore M. Lewis L. Breust
FOLL L. Meek W. Day C. Mackenzie
I/C S. Butler B. Hardwick C. Jiath H. Morrison SUB L. Bramble EMG F. Greene J. Scrimshaw

IN J. Blanck L. Breust S. Butler C. Jiath J. Koschitzke C. Mackenzie

OUT T. Brockman (suspended) F. Greene (omitted) C. Macdonald (illness) N. Reeves (ankle) J. Scrimshaw (omitted) J. Ward (foot) 

MELBOURNE

B A. Brayshaw  S. May M. Hibberd
HB J. McVee J. Lever J. Bowey
C E. Langdon C. Oliver A. Neal-Bullen 
HF B. Fritsch B. Grundy L. Hunter 
F K. Chandler J. van Rooyen K. Pickett
FOLL M. Gawn C. Petracca J. Viney
I/C H. Petty T. Rivers C. Spargo T. Sparrow SUB J. Jordon EMG B. Laurie T. McDonald D. Turner

IN M. Hibberd C. Spargo

OUT J. Harmes (omitted) D. Turner (omitted)

Milestone: Steven May 200 games

Injury and Suspension List: Round 9

Christian Salem - Knee | Available 
Tom McDonald - Ankle | Test
Jacob van Rooyen - Suspension | Free and Available 
Luke Dunstan - Knee | 3 - 5 Weeks 
Kye Turner - Groin | 5 - 6 Weeks 
Will Verrall - Pelvis  | 5 - 6 Weeks