THE CURSE by Norm Smith’s Ghost

[Demonland]

Melbourne’s fortunes took a dramatic turn for the worst on the day the Anthony Albanese was elected as Prime Minister. Since that fateful day, Steven May pinged his hamstring early in the match against the Dockers, Harry Petty came off the ground in consecutive games feeling the worse for wear, it was revealed that Tom McDonald’s foot was in messy shape, the Herald Sun exclusively reported that two years ago, Demon committee members exchanged emails critical of the team after it lost a game by 51 points coming off a four-day break, full forward Ben Brown hasn’t kicked a goal since marking his ballot paper, Christian Petracca was ripped for surmising that the weather kept fans away from a football match played at night during a cold snap and the said Steven May and teammate Jake Melksham engaged in fisticuffs, smashing up an upmarket restaurant where members of the team were eating dinner. Both are out this week for different reasons.

Unsurprisingly then, the club lost both of its matches in the interim since the Federal Election and the Demons have collapsed from first place on the ladder to first place on the ladder. It’s shades of 1965 when the reigning premiers won their first eight games and fell into a screaming heap and failed to make the finals. That sort of thing happened in the days of Bob Menzies, but it’s now the 21st Century. Is history repeating?

This week, the team faces the mortal enemy, former traditional rival and eighth placed Collingwood coming off a roll, ready to mercilessly demolish them and consign them to a place in Hell. After all, they did it last year when the Demons had May and McDonald and their coach was on the nose with their supporters. Now they have a clean skin coach and the shadowy figure of a seven foot tall behemoth in dark glasses looms over all, instilling fear into the hearts of Demon fans, unable to afford the cost of petrol to escape to the snowfields for Queens Birthday, and forced to queue up in droves to acquire passports to get themselves to safe places like Europe, Africa, the Middle East or just about any American city. When former PM, Scott Morrison was asked about how he would fix the Melbourne malaise, he responded, “It’s not my job!

Things are so bad that we’re almost at the stage where people are wondering whether, in 56 or 57 year’s time, the topic for discussion will be how Anthony Albanese tripped them up. Or they blame the Simon Goodwin Curse given that according to the aspiring Pulitzer Prize winners at the little tabloid paper who claim to have ringside seats at the “Demons Fight Club”, it all started with a tipple and a $5.00 each way TAB ticket at Sorrento? 

Wait!

Let’s all take a really deep breath and look at reality.

The world isn’t coming to an end. Nor is the Melbourne dynasty if you want to call it that. 

By mid-week, sanity was starting to prevail when the skipper Max Gawn, who was in dominant form in the Demon’s loss against the Swans, stood up for his club and while he admitted that some recent events were somewhat embarrassing, the truth emerged. The club is upholding the standards required of a leading team. Contrast May’s treatment with that of Collingwood’s De Goey who didn’t miss a second of game time over his New York escapades. The Demons can regroup for this season-defining Queen's Birthday that honours former coach Neale Daniher and highlight the man’s integrity. You don’t win premierships without that ingredient!

There is a view that the Demons are somewhat tired and off the mark as a result of loading but I’m not buying that entirely. There’s a lot of improvement to come this week in the form of players like Christian Salem, Ed Langdon, James Harmes, Adam Tomlinson and Christian Petracca who were flat last week coming back from injury, illness and/or a stint at Casey. There wasn’t enough in them to get them through an arm-wrestle against the Swans even though they still won the contested football. The fact that they will have had a nine-day break by the time game day arrives on Monday should see them refreshed and ready to take on the Pies who have just fallen over the line in their recent matches.

Melbourne by 15 points and Maxy still won’t bounce the footy. He doesn’t have to!

THE GAME 

Melbourne v Collingwood at the MCG Monday 13 June, 2022 at 3.20pm

HEAD TO HEAD

Overall Melbourne Collingwood 151 wins, 84 wins, 5 drawn

At at the MCG Collingwood 83 wins, Melbourne 63 wins, 3 drawn

Last five meetings Collingwood 4 wins, Melbourne 1 win,

The Coaches McCrae 0 wins, Goodwin 0 wins

MEDIA

TV live and on demand on Kayo and live on Foxtel. Check your local guides.

Radio - check your local guides.

LAST TIME THEY MET

Collingwood defeated Melbourne at the MCG in Round 13, 2021

Yet another Melbourne lockdown forced the game to be relocated to Sydney where a combination of emotion for Nathan Buckley’s last game as coach, a ground that suits the Pies and some lethargy on the part of the Demons saw them go down in an upset.

THE TEAMS

COLLINGWOOD 

B: B.Maynard 37 D.Moore 30 N.Murphy 28
HB: S.Pendlebury 10 J.Howe 38 I.Quaynor 3
C: W.Hoskin-Elliott 32 P.Lipinski 1 John Noble 9
HF: J.Crisp 25 B.Mihocek 41 J.De Goey 2
F: J.Ginnivan 33 J.Elliott 5 S.Sidebottom 22
Foll: D.Cameron 14 T.Adams 13 J.Daicos 7
I/C: M.Cox 46 N.Daicos 35 O.Henry B. McCreery 31  
Sub: T.Brown 6  Emerg: I.Chugg F.Macrae 18 T.Ruscoe 21

In: J.Elliott 

Out: R.McInnes (shoulder)

MELBOURNE 

B: C.Salem 3 H.Petty 35 J.Bowey 17
HB: J.Jordon 23 J.Lever 8 A.Brayshaw 10
C: T.Sparrow 32 A.Neal-Bullen 30 E.Langdon 15
HF: M.Brown 38 B.Fritsch 31 C.Petracca 5
F: C.Spargo 9 B.Brown 50 K.Pickett 36
Foll: M.Gawn11 C.Oliver 13 J.Viney 7
IC: J.Harmes 4 M.Hibberd 14 L.Jackson 6 D.Turner 42 
Sub: K.Chandler 37 Emerg: O.Baker 33 A.Tomlinson 20 S.Weideman 26

In:  K.Chandler M.Hibberd D.Turner 

Out: T.Bedford (omitted) J.Hunt (omitted) A.Tomlinson (omitted)

Injury and Suspension List: Round 13

Harry Petty - Shoulder | Test
Steven May - Club Discipline | 1 Week 
Jake Melksham - Hand | 1 Week 
Fraser Rosman - Hamstring | 1 Week
Joel Smith - Ankle | 4-6 Weeks
Blake Howes - Foot | 5-7 Weeks
Tom McDonald Foot | TBC