THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT

[Demonland 66,977]

by The Couch Potato (aka Whispering Jack)

When the powers that be over at Foxtel announced a few months ago that they were committed to the public execution of the Fox Footy Channel, I thought the end of the world as we know it was coming.

After all, what use were the other few dozen Foxtel channels without the footy? How could I while away the evening hours of a long hot summer (apart from the odd occasion when the Aussies were playing a day/nighter) without a footy replay or a repeat of Grumpy Old Men, On the Couch (my favourite) or some other FFC special programme?

The first thing that came to mind was to start a protest movement. It wouldn't take much effort to muster up a crowd of demonstrators to picket the G20 forum and demand our rights to continue watching football 24/7. However, I simply wasn't able to reach the required level of indignation or the motivation necessary to organise such an effort. I was just too tied to the couch!

Then I thought of placing a telephone call to Foxtel. I was going to order them to come over to my place, to collect their equipment and to shove it all where there sun doesn't shine. But being a couch potato of the highest order I never even got around to doing that!

Things might well have been different had someone invented a remote control that would enable me to dial up the Foxtel Head Office while watching the programme guide. Instead I discovered by default that there were other things to watch on my relatively new digital system.

Things like the Northern Territory Football League games from Darwin, the A League Soccer, wrestling as an entertainment form (once upon a time it was a real sport!), the myriads of Poker Tournaments that have mushroomed in popularity over the years and even - yes - the world championship of darts!

So here I am.

It's not even summertime yet but I have managed to discover other things to watch on my large, new plasma screen.

And there's even enough time left before the next screening starts for me to describe my two current favourites - the poker and the NTFL.

Once upon a time I used to play poker regularly. It was supposed to be a Friday night social occasion (this was before Friday night football came along) but it wasn't all that "social" because, shock, horror, we used to play the game for "money". Those who are old enough to have watched Sergeant Bilko in the good old days of monochrome television, would understand the subtlety of the use of that word in the context of a poker game. For the youngsters out there who don't understand, my only suggestion is not to try playing poker at home (or anywhere else for that matter!).

One of my favourite books is "The Education of a Poker Player" by Herbert Yardley who was an interesting character; a World War I code breaker and an avid poker player. His book is less of a teaching manual about a card game than it is a lesson on life. There are many different types of people that play poker and, having read the book a long, long time ago, it has been fascinating to see it actually come to life by watching some of the remarkable characters who participate in these televised poker tournaments. Not that I would want to establish a personal acquaintanceship with any of them - they appear to be in the main a bunch of greedy, money grubbing desperadoes. However, for entertainment value, it's tops and there's less blood and gore around than in the wrestling which has become somewhat tiresome now that I know for sure that it's only entertainment and not for real.

One thing that is for real is the football not from the end of the world but from the Top End. Thanks to ABC2, I've had the pleasure of being able to watch a number of games in the current NTFL season involving the newly admitted Bombers from the Tiwi Islands which produced such footballing greats as the Riolis and the Longs.

The team has been admitted to play in the first seven rounds of competition and they've been a raging success winning their first five games on the trot by playing an exciting, running game in the heat and humidity of Darwin. Dean Rioli has been a star of those wins but it's doubtful that he'll turn out for them again this season because he's gone back to Melbourne. That still leaves one Rioli in the team - little Willie - and he's a ripper!

The Tiwi Islanders might not be in AFL star class but they do play such an exciting, running game that it's often mind boggling. And what great cult heroes they're throwing up for the sparse audiences of this little known television station - names that roll off the commentators' tongues like Simon Munkara, Ephram Tipungwuti, Norman Pangirimini, Rupert Pupungameri, Thomas Simon and exciting youngsters Roy Farmer and Austin Wonaeamirra.

It's all high scoring excitement where the goals flow all day. The last game I saw was a close high scoring affair against Wanderers who were in it until halfway through the third quarter of a game played in 32 degree heat and 70% humidity. That was when the Wanderers started frothing at the mouth and running up and down on the spot while the Bombers running brigade kept zipping around, continually playing on at all costs and pumping through goal after goal. It seemed so effortless that I was reminded of the old Harlem Globetrotters basketball exhibitions. The Bombers eventually won a 48-goal shootout 28.15.183 to 20.8.128 and the players made it look so easy - as if they were born to play.

In reality, the game was taken to the Northern Territory during World War II by Brother John Pye, a Catholic priest who is apparently still alive today and about to turn 100. In the Tiwi Islands, it really is more than a game and more than entertainment. It is a way of life that gives the young men of these outlying communities not only a focus – it also gives them hope; the sport is arresting what has been a high suicide rate.

And for those of us who have had the privilege of watching these magnificent young men play, it provides proof that the end of the world as we know it isn't coming at all!