SUB TROPICAL MADNESS

by Banana Bender

I was really pumped up yesterday afternoon as I drove across to Brisbane for the first time in almost twelve months to enjoy a game of football in my adopted home state. The Demons were coming here for a "home" game and I had to miss their last venture to this region when they went down to Adelaide by five points. They've improved a fair bit since then and, although I have learned the hard way to be wary of in form Melbourne teams that travel interstate enjoying hot favouritism with the bookies, I was lulled into the false sense of security for the hundredth time in my life. I really believed that we would win and win handsomely against this injury depleted Lions outfit and I suffered agonisingly for what was almost an eternity while my team seemed to be doing everything in its power to spoil the party in what I can only describe as sub tropical madness.

After all, this was Neale Daniher's 200th game as coach and we wanted to celebrate a victory for the club after a few consecutive soul-shattering thumpings inflicted by the home town heroes up here in recent years. I desperately needed something that would give me the enormous bragging rights over my fellow workmates that victory would bring and I knew they were already suffering as a result of Melbourne Storm defeating the Broncos the night before. I simply couldn't afford to give them any comebacks and I knew that a Demon win would make me as popular at work as a horde of cane toads descending on a sugar plantation.

In the event, I came away from the Gabba firmly believing that Melbourne must be a very, very good team because you had to be that way if you played so poorly, were beaten in so many positions on the ground, made so many errors, coughed up the ball so regularly and trailed at every break in the game, yet still came away with the four point to record your 10th win from 11 matches. At the end, it wasn't the eight-point victory that was so significant; it was more the way that the team persisted in pushing together to achieve a win that kept its top four hopes alive and well.

The signs weren't good from the very beginning. Brisbane ruckman Jamie Charman was getting the ball down to the ubiquitous Simon Black, skipper Michael Voss and a couple of young guns in Michael Rischitelli and Cheynee Stiller and they simply smashed the Demon midfield in the early clearances. Black was everywhere as he amassed 13 possessions in the first quarter while Voss, who was under an injury cloud earlier in the week and seemed to be immobile, nevertheless was in the right places at the right time and just directed traffic at the stoppages.

Where was Brock? Where was Travis? Where was Junior?

I kept asking myself these questions as the Brisbane tide kept moving the ball forward to where Daniel Bradshaw decimated our "Chopper" Read look alike Nathan Carroll with such strength that I was moved to feel sorry for our full back because I was worried that the real "Chopper" might take deep offence at such a feeble effort at impersonation. This was Groundhog Day for Bradshaw because last year he booted five in the first quarter on his way to nine for the night. Tonight he would be one off last year's pace in both respects.

I kept asking myself why was Bradshaw allowed to contest the ball so many times in a one on one situation. After taking a brilliant and courageous mark deep down back, Jared Rivers was being drawn away from the fray and Ben Holland wasn't near enough to spoil Bradshaw's party either. Why didn't they bring in the cavalry?

And where was the forward line? Where was Neita and where was Robbo who booted four last year to keep us in the game at least for half the match?

Well, in spite of what seemed to be a fair amount of panic going on, there were a few cool heads around and the team regrouped and fought their way back in a patchy sort of way. Travis started to get his hands on the football in the second quarter, Brad Green got his act together after a couple of early bloopers and Rivers and Matty Whelan continued to do well in defence. The midfield was still losing the clearances but not nearly so badly and besides, the Lions were starting to show a little sloppiness themselves.

Melbourne nosed in front by a point nearing time on in the second term but the Lions weren't going to easily give up the fruits of their early efforts and they came back with two late goals to hold a seven point half time lead. Voss provided a bit of biffo as a melee erupted after the siren but if the clubs or the players are charged with any offences they can always plead insanity based on the local disease of sub tropical madness which reared its head a few times during the match. But more of that later.

Melbourne turned it on four the first ten minutes of the third quarter and threatened to blow the Lions into Moreton Bay after David Neitz took three strong marks for goals thanks to some brilliant pin-point passing from Johnstone and Green and it could have been more as Neitz missed an easy mark and then appeared to have kicked a goal that was paid a point in a typical example of Queensland goal umpiring. That set the scene however, for Aaron Davey's mid-air soccer goal which blew our socks off. With Neitz leading Mal Michael a merry dance, the Demons looked like a top side for the first time in the game.

Michael must still have been smarting from his own bout of sub tropical madness in the previous quarter when he grabbed the ball 20 metres out of Melbourne's goals and kicked truly for a rushed point. The stunned mullet looks on his nearest opponents said it all.

But if you thought they looked strange when that happened, then you should have seen my expression when, late in the third quarter, with the Demons still leading by five points, Brad Miller, who had been moved onto Bradshaw, went through his mad sub tropical moment in deciding it was necessary to provide some extra enticement for Jason Akermanis to join the club next year by gift wrapping him as easy a goal that he has ever gotten in his career. With Byron Pickett defending on the goal line, he picked Miller out for a handball, but the Demon vice captain simply thumped the ball into the waiting hands of Aker for a goal seconds before the three quarter time siren sounded simultaneously with the popping of the veins in my neck. It must have had the same effect on Neale Daniher because that was the last we saw of Miller and "Chopper" was put back on Bradshaw for the remainder of the game.

Melbourne lifted again at the start of the last quarter with Adem Yze, Colin Sylvia, Cameron Bruce and Phil (not the real "Chopper" either) Read all working hard to overcome the Brisbane tide. The Demons were turning their clearance deficit around considerably (it went from 5-17 at quarter time to 11-28 at half time and finished at 34-39) and when Robbo finally goaled to give them a three goal plus lead deep into the final term, it looked all over. However, just as they had done in every previous quarter of the game, the Lions lifted in time on. They were helped by a questionable mark paid to Carman on the goal line which put them six points down but Melbourne steadied to run out winners by eight points.

I'm saving my money to buy myself some airline tickets for a visit to the southern capital later in the year. I'm yet to be convinced that a late September date would be a good idea and based on the evidence before me last night, some would say it would be a touch mad to even contemplate the thought. Certainly, the team will need to play much better if it wants to negotiate its next few games and retain a touch of sanity. Fortunately, for them there are no more scheduled visits to sub tropical regions this year.

MELBOURNE 2.2.14 5.6.36 10.9.69 14.14.98

BRISBANE 5.2.32 7.5.47 10.10.70 13.12.90

Goals Neitz 4 Green Sylvia 2 Davey McLean Robertson Whelan White Yze

Best Whelan Green Sylvia Rivers Johnstone Neitz McDonald Ward Bruce

Injuries: Nil.

Reports: Nil.

Crowd 25, 541 at The Gabba.