PURPLE PROSE – PINK DAY

by J.V. McKay

The term "purple prose" usually applies to the sort of language you come across in romance novels. Basically it consists of words and phrases that sound stilted, overly descriptive, or cliché. Well, there's no love or romance involved when it comes to those boorish louts from Fremantle but the colour purple and the use of clichés is just perfect for Saturday’s game at the G because guys like Matthew Pavlich and Jeff Farmer will match perfectly the pink theme of the day. And when it's all over, I'm tipping they will be blushing a bright pink or perhaps even a reddy hue as they stand by helplessly watching their team being destroyed by the resurgent Demons in the red and the blue.

In a way I think I'm very brave to select Melbourne to win. Forget your Adelaide's and your Collingwood's. Fremantle has to be the form team of the competition at the moment. In consecutive weeks they have beaten the two AFL sides reputed to have the best lists in St. Kilda and West Coast. Admittedly, both victories have been by the proverbial bee's diaphragm but, as we Demon fans are getting used to saying, "a win's a win" and four points is four points.

These Dockers also have a sensational record against Melbourne at the MCG. The last time they lost to the Demons at the home of football was in Round 16, 1998 when their score of 13.5.83 was 23 points shy of the home side's 16.10.106. The tables were turned in Round 10 the following year with Fremantle scoring 22.12.144 to Melbourne’s 13.12.90. Tony Modra kicked 10 goals in his best game for his second club, which recorded its first ever win at the MCG. That score remains a record for the Dockers at the home of football (one point better than last years score in the shootout – see below).

The teams didn't meet at the MCG again until 2003 when the visitors were too good and too accurate in front of goal 16.5.101 to 10.11.71 and Justin Longmuir went ballistic in the second half to finish with 6 goals. Then came last year's shootout at the G which saw Jeff Farmer kick an arrogant seven goals against his old club while Matthew Pavlich and Luke McPharlin added to Melbourne's embarrassment by outmarking and outplaying almost anyone who came near them.

So now that I've established the Dockers are not only the form side of the competition but the MCG is like a second home to them, why on earth am I going for a Melbourne win?

Good question.

I just like the team spirit and the hardness Melbourne is showing at the moment. The Demons are also a much improved side at the coalface (the clearance battles) where most games of AFL football are won these days. The two guns in this area are Brock McLean and Cameron Bruce, two very different types of footballers but together in the midfield they are proving to be very effective. Then there are Travis Johnstone and Brad Green who are capable of causing a lot of damage to the opposition. All of the abovementioned are team leaders in their own way and they are rejoined this week by two other leaders in David Neitz and Brad Miller, not to mention Matty Whelan who is a leader in the back line.

The Dockers aren't slouches in the midfield either with players of the ilk of J Carr, Peter Bell and Haselby but they aren't winning the clearances and are not likely to in the absence of their head ruckman Sandilands (head ruckman because he's a head taller than anyone else). They do have some dangerous tall forwards in Pavlich, McPharlin and Polak and those two little pests in Farmer and Medhurst who led the Demon defence a merry dance during last year's shootout.

I have little doubt however, that Neale Daniher has done his homework and learned the lessons of last year's thriller at the MCG and, as a result, that he will have different strategies in place this year. He said so this week and who am I to argue with The Reverend?

I'm confident therefore, that the Demons will acquit themselves well. I would have been happier with a wet weather forecast like the one we had last Friday night against the Cats but the Bureau of Meteorology (why meteorology? – after all it's about weather not meteors!) has forecast a fine day and 15 degrees.

That'll still do me and I reckon that the boys from the west will be begging to hear the sound of the final siren this week as they go down in a screaming purple heap to the tune of 40 points. Incidentally, this will be just enough to nose the Demons' percentage ahead of the Dockers and push them into the top eight with every team in the competition to play every other team once before the end of the home and away season.

A win will set up Melbourne's season and I'll be in the pink.

Thank you very much.

MELBOURNE v FREMANTLE

THE TEAMS

MELBOURNE

B: Bate Carroll Whelan

HB: Yze Rivers Bell

C: Green Bruce McLean

HF: Robertson Miller Davey

F: McDonald Neitz Pickett

FOLL: White Moloney Johnstone

I/C: Jamar Dunn Bartram Godfrey

EMG: Holland C Johnson Read

IN: Neitz Miller Whelan

OUT: Brown (hamstring) Sylvia (bruised rubs) Holland

NEW: -

FREMANTLE

B: Thornton Johnson Parker

HB: Schammer Grover Mundy

C: Black J Carr Walker

HF: Headland Pavlich Medhurst

F: Farmer McPharlin Longmuir

FOLL: Polak Hasleby Bell

I/C: M Carr Duffield Dodd Warren

EMG: Cook Crowley Peake

IN: Longmuir Farmer Warren

OUT: Sandilands (fractured jaw) Crowley Peake

NEW: Michael Warren (Claremont)

Field umpires: McLaren Quigley Woodcock

Where & When: MCG, 2.10pm, Saturday 13 May

TV & Radio: Fox Footy (Vic, Qld, NSW, SA), Ch 10 (WA only), ABC, 6PR

Head to Head: Played - 17, Melbourne 9, Fremantle 8

Last Time they met: Fremantle 15.11.101 d Melbourne 11.10.76 in Round 17, 2005, at Subiaco Oval

The betting:

Melbourne $1.65, Fremantle $2.10