GREATER WESTERN SYDNEY - A GIANT COMPROMISE

[Demonland 73,326]

GREATER WESTERN SYDNEY - A GIANT COMPROMISE by Whispering Jack

The announcement of the name of the new AFL franchise - the Greater Western Sydney Giants - has been met in football circles by a mixture of dismay and derision.

Among the main arguments of those who oppose the name are that the "Giants" is an unoriginal moniker and that it's "too American"; that it fails to adequately reflect the indigenous nature of the region where the new franchise is located.

I agree, and that is why I suggest a compromise that will please everybody.

Let's call them the Greater Western Sydney Giant Wombats!

The Giant Wombat roamed the region long before the white man invaded its shores bringing to the land such alien foods as battered saveloys and chiko rolls and unusual modes of vehicular travel like the Leyland P76.

According to wikipedia, the "Diprotodon, or the Giant Wombat, or the Rhinoceros Wombat, was the largest known marsupial that ever lived. Along with many other members of a group of unusual species collectively called the 'Australian megafauna', it may have existed from 1.6 million years ago until about 40,000 years ago."

Now imagine that!

A living species older than Kevin Sheedy roaming the environs of Blacktown (and the animal even looks like Sheeds)!

The connection between the new outfit, the Giant Wombat and the Western Sydney region could even be exploited to popularise our sport in a place where, let's face it, nobody gives a wombat's arse about our game.

I'm alluding, of course, to reviving the symbol of the area made popular by Sydney icons Roy and HG during the 2000 Olympic Games - Fatso the Fat-Arsed Wombat.

Now, Fatso is a Giant Wombat if there ever was one! I miss him and I have no doubt that millions of Sydneysiders do as well.

Who could ever forget one of the great moments of Australian sporting history when Fatso, the three official Olympic mascots, and the Boxing Kangaroo took part in that enthralling diving contest?

And let's not forget that a statue of Fatso stands in the heartland of the Western Sydney area at Olympic Park.

I don't much like the new jumper either. No red head could ever consider playing in that gear so what are they going to do about our heroic young men who go by the name of "Bluey"?

I also think they have the graphics all wrong with that ridiculously contorted letter "G". A simple "W" for wombat would suffice or, even better, they could replace the letter with a facsimile of Fatso's face, thereby reprising the now forgotten national heritage of placing our local marsupials on guernseys started so many years ago by the late Christopher Skase at the Brisbane Bears.

So please Andrew Demetriou.

You strike me as a fair minded person who understands the spirit of compromise. Make them change the name to the Greater Western Sydney Giant Wombats!