THE TRADING CHRONICLES 2009: DAY FIVE

THE TRADING CHRONICLES 2009: DAY FIVE by The Oracle

HOWZAT: NO BALL

In cricket parlance, the trade week produced a spinner's wicket. There was a lot of turn, a few appeals and in the end a controversial no ball.

The last day of the AFL's exchange period was overshadowed by the Brendan Fevola train wreck and marked by press conferences separated by great distances within the nation.

Down in Melbourne, an embarrassed Stephen Kernahan fumbled and stumbled his way through some heavy media cross examination about how the Blues handled Brendan Fevola's indiscretions on Brownlow Night, particularly about allegations that his now former player had sexually harassed a Herald Sun journalist during his drunken escapades at Crown Casino. The press was coming.

Poor Sticks was clearly out of his depth and there was no Dick Pratt to save him. His trusted lieutenant Brett Ratten was fairly useless as he sat looking like a stunned mullet before finally offering up his spin that in the final wash up the club did well by effectively picking up Brock McLean and 19 year old Lachlan Henderson for his errant full forward.

Bollocks!

Segue to a place that's a two-hour flight and an hour's drive to the north. Never in his wildest dreams would the late, great and lamented Jack Dyer conceive of a press gathering at a place like Wet n Wild on the Gold Coast where the Brisbane Lions were trying to spin their own yarn about the wonderful benefits that luring an alcoholic full forward would bring to the Sunshine State.

It was embarrassment all round as a contrite and red-faced Fev poured out his emotions as best he could. He made no promises but told the gathered throng that he would do his level best not to be a dickhead in the future. There would be no more media work (as if!) and from now onwards he was going to act like a choirboy on the straight and narrow. Presumably, this means that in future when he gets the urge to relieve himself it will be at a urinal and not at a shop window or his captain's head.

Fev's new coach Michael Voss sounded like good old Arthur Daley from Minder as he waxed lyrical about his club's trade week acquisitions.

And why not?

Voss has gone the whole hog this week. Apart from Fevola, he has added a whole set of steak knives in the form of Andrew Raines, Brent Staker, Amon Buchanan and Xavier Clarke - most of them on the cheap. Voss clearly feels his premiership window is wide open and he worked the crowd at the theme park harder than a used car salesperson to convince them that his product was the real deal and that the Lions were the big winners of the week.

That's the beauty of the process the football world has been going through. What took place this week is mostly in the eye of the beholder and in the lap of the gods. Voss has placed a great deal of faith in recycled not quite right players and very little in the national draft which is interesting given his previous role in coaching junior talent at the draft age level. The Lions' top pick will now come as late as number 27 and their next in the late forties. They also gave away Bradd Dalziell and young Henderson.

Football is a ruthless business these days. Voss will be hoping to flog his share of used cars in 2010, failing which he could join the long line of used coaches.

So with the exchange period done and dusted, most clubs and their supporters come away from the experience thinking and believing that they won out - even Adelaide, which was the only club to do nothing.

Collingwood thinks it did well to finally snare a big fish in the guise of a 27 or 28-year-old ruckman, Matthew Knights is in raptures about Mark Williams (the player), the Saints are happy to pick up the troubled Andrew Lovett who once got a gob full from his new skipper, Richmond is ecstatic about snaring Mitch Farmer and the Demons are delighting in the fact that they have picks 1, 2, 11 and 18 as well as first dibs on the pre season draft.

The object of Melbourne's attention on the year's last big draft day could well be disgruntled Saint Luke Ball. You have to feel a bit sorry for this bloke who has fallen out of favour with his coach and who wanted to head off to the Lexus Centre and the comfort of a strong club that has at its disposal the most modern facilities and is perfectly placed to achieve team success right now and not some time down the track. Never mind the feral supporters anyway - he's quite used to them out Moorabbin way!

The Demons have expressed strong interest in the former All Australian who captained his club at a young age. He is in many ways similar to Brock McLean who departed suddenly earlier this month for the greener pastures of Visy Park. A player who has had his injuries and subsequent issues with physical fitness but a player whose eyes are planted firmly on the objective of playing at a successful club.

In order to convince Ball to come to the club, the Demons will have to work overtime with some spin of their own. Ball's character and leadership would be invaluable at the AFL's least experienced club. He would be an ideal mentor for the exciting youngsters already at Melbourne and those about to join the fold.

The Demons will also need to satisfy themselves about whether Ball can withstand the rigours of AFL football going forward.

The process of brokering a marriage will not be easy but Ball has already seen how tough the process can be in the dog eat dog world of AFL trading. In the end, the system, St. Kilda and Collingwood all failed him. The question now is whether he wants to be a part of our future.

Completed Trades on Day Five:

12 Shane Mumford (Geelong) to Sydney; and

Round two draft pick (No.28) to Geelong

13 Josh Kennedy and Ben McGlynn (Hawthorn) to Sydney; and

Round three draft picks (No.39 and 46) and round five draft pick (No. 70) to Hawthorn

14 Shaun Burgoyne (Port Adelaide) to Hawthorn;

Jay Nash (Essendon) and Round one draft pick (No.9), Round one draft pick (No.16) and Round six draft pick to Port Adelaide;

Mark Williams (Hawthorn) and Round two draft pick (No.24) and Round two draft pick (No.33) to Essendon; and

Round three draft picks (No.40 and 42) and round four draft pick (No.56) to Geelong

15 Marcus Drum (Fremantle) to Geelong; and

Round three draft pick (No.49) to Fremantle

16 Brendan Fevola (Carlton) and round two draft pick (No.27) to Brisbane Lions; and

Lachlan Henderson and round one draft pick (No.12) to Carlton

17 Round four draft pick (No.58) to Essendon; and

Round six draft pick (No.89) to Hawthorn