NOT EASY BEING GREEN

[Demonland 70,238]

by JVM

I don't usually hand out compliments to the AFL but the folks at football's headquarters deserve a round of applause for coming up with the idea of the Green Round for this weekend. The whole concept is brilliant because it adds some much needed colour and oomph to what would otherwise be a dreary collection of games.

Take this Sunday's Melbourne v Fremantle game at the MCG for instance. It loomed as a bit of a bore before the green thing was announced but now, we're all looking forward to it with bated breath ... aren't we?

The green theme is perfectly suited to the home team and not just because its President (get well soon Jimmy) is Irish. Although injured and not playing this week the Demons have a fabulous player in Brad Green who might well be their next captain. He has more than 20 teammates - about half the list - with him on the sick list. The club is so desperate for players that if Kermit the Frog made himself available to play in the Green Round he would surely get a game.

The visitors also have an affinity with the colour green. They are the only club in the competition that incorporates the colour in their guernsey which looks hideous. However, they would surely enhance their away strip this week if they substituted the purple anchor for a green one!

There are so many other ways in which the colour green can be associated with this game. The expression "green around the gills" applies perfectly because the supporters of both clubs have often felt ill or nauseated during the course of many of their games this season.

They must be feeling "green with envy" as they jealously eye the records of the more successful clubs above them on the ladder. The colour is also associated with novices or "greenhorns" and both clubs have introduced a bevy of inexperienced newcomers to the ranks this year (9 and 11 respectively) making an entire team of newbies between them.

The driving force behind everything the AFL does these days is the ringing of cash registers accumulating the folding green stuff. They're not really interested in greenhouse emissions despite the odd ceremonial sideshow of a meeting between the Judd$ter and the Ruddster which helps to justify the former's huge out of salary cap range pay packet. No, it's all about the greenback dollars and in this regard the people at HQ have committed a slight gaffe.

The Demons v Dockers fixture is crying out to get bums on seats at a stage because it's hard to garner public enthusiasm about two down and out sides whose seasons already started unravelling a couple months ago. So they put this game on at the worst possible time slot for any AFL game - 1 o'clock on a Sunday afternoon.

That time is too early for those who like their sleeps after a late Saturday night rage; no good for those involved in junior footy and other sports; inconvenient for church people and the long Sunday brunch set, not to mention the theatregoers. You rarely see a big crowd at these fixtures (especially if they're beamed in homes live against the gate on Fox Sports 1 in the state where the game is played).

And if the matchup is a prospective yawn fest between 15th and 16th on the ladder after a long, hard slog of a season then what hope does the home club have of pulling in enough paying customers to avoid the necessity of paying out lots of those green bank notes to the stadium owner just for the privilege of putting on the game?

And that is exactly what confronts us this Sunday when Melbourne and Fremantle finally meet each other for the first time in 2009. We've had to wait until round 20 although both sides have played a number of other teams twice. Yet, two of the worst performed clubs of the last three years face off for their one and only encounter for the season!

It's enough to make you feel completely greened off!

THE GAME Melbourne v Fremantle at the MCG - Sunday 16 August 2009 at 1:10pm (AEST)

HEAD TO HEAD

Overall Melbourne 11 wins Fremantle 13 wins

At the MCG Melbourne 5 wins Fremantle 4 wins

Since 2000 Melbourne 6 wins Fremantle 9 wins

The Coaches Bailey 1 win Harvey 1 win

MEDIA

TV Fox Sports 1 (live) at 1.00pm

RADIO ABC774 K-Rock SEN

THE BETTING Melbourne to win $1.93 Fremantle to win $1.80

LAST TIME THEY MET Fremantle 16.18.114 defeated Melbourne 10.8.68 at Subiaco Round 16, 2008

This was yet another forgettable game for a Melbourne languishing at the foot of the AFL ladder. The Demons started like a house on fire and had a good lead at the end of the first quarter but they were reeled in by half time and there was no big second half from Melbourne as there was when the teams met at the MCG earlier in the season. The difference between the teams was that the Dockers had stars in Pavlich (5 goals), Sandilands and Schammer while the Dees were pretty much a shambles after the first quarter.

THE TEAMS (to be loaded when available)

MELBOURNE

Backs Stefan Martin James Frawley Kyle Cheney

Half backs Clint Bartram Jared Rivers Ricky Petterd

Centreline James McDonald Lynden Dunn Cale Morton

Half forwards Brent Moloney Brad Miler Nathan Jones

Forwards Neville Jetta Matthew Bate Liam Jurrah

Followers Paul Johnson Aaron Davey Colin Sylvia

Interchange Mark Jamar Jordie McKenzie Brock McLean Tom McNamara

Russell Robertson Jake Spencer Shane Valenti

In Mark Jamar Liam Jurrah Jordie McKenzie Brock McLean Jared Rivers Russell Robertson

Out Rohan Bail (quad) Cameron Bruce (wrist) Michael Newton (Achilles)

FREMANTLE

Backs Greg Broughton Chris Tarrant Jay van Berlo

Half backs Antoni Grover Luke McPharlin Paul Duffield

Centerline Garrick Ibbotson Paul Hasleby Chris Mayne

Half forwards Stephen Hill Matt de Boer Dean Solomon

Forwards Des Headland Matthew Pavlich Nic Suban

Followers Aaron Sandilands Steven Dodd David Mundy

Interchange (from) Kepler Bradley Marcus Drum Roger Hayden Brett Peake Clancee Pearce Byron Schammer Michael Walters

In Roger Hayden Luke McPharlin Michael Walters

... OR PURPLE

I've already alluded to the Demons' Melbourne's injury woes this season and in particular in the past month or so. The situation was highlighted last weekend when the club was able to field two players, one of them a rookie. Even allowing for an emergency for the Sunday fixture (Robbo) this left almost half the list idle and infirm on the sidelines. Compare that with Collingwood which fielded an extraordinary 22 listed players in its VFL team and you get an understanding of Melbourne's plight.

On the other hand, the Dockers who looked almost certain wooden spooners a month ago when they managed just the one goal in a humiliating performance against the Crows at AAMI Stadium, seem to be coming good in the latter stages of the season. This has a lot to do with the return of injured stars, most notably Pavlich and Sandilands but also the likes of Schammer, Haselby, Headland and Mayne as well as continued good form from their large crop of first year players like Hill, Broughton and co. They've won two out of their last three games and crushed top eight team Port Adelaide who had everything to play for but couldn't raise a sweat against the Dockers. The question mark over Freo however, still remains on whether it can perform away from Subiaco.

And the Purple Haze will remember with trepidation the events that unfolded when they last played Melbourne at this venue.

As for the Demons, what can I say? I can't even comment on the selected team because these days they actually pick three teams. The first is the list announced on Thursday night with its extended interchange bench. That's not really helpful because by Friday night, one player has usually succumbed to the onset of a sudden injury and has dropped out of the picture. When the game comes around on Sunday, it's another case of revolving doors and another player's withdrawn.Last week, Melbourne lost two key defenders in Matthew Warnock and Jared Rivers this way leaving the club with only one recognised key defender to contend with a trio of talls who proceeded to rip apart the Demon defence with eleven goals between them, opening the way for a runaway Kangaroo victory.

Melbourne's capacity to repeat this process for about the third or fourth week running is rather limited because of its injury situation. At the rate the Dees are going there may be no emergencies left meaning they'll have to run with the Kermit the Frog option.

For this reason, I don't think that Melbourne will reproduce last year's thrilling come from behind win against Freo. With or without Kermit, I'm tipping they will croak against the Dockers who will finish 12 points in front at the end of the day.