THE TRADING CHRONICLES 2008: DAY THREE

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THE TRADING CHRONICLES 2008: DAY THREE

PLANET WARNOCK by the Oracle

The big lunch is almost a national institution and a pastime that I normally enjoy but yesterday the company was almost unbearable. Last year, the client was in a jovial mood, ate like a pig, drank like a fish and handed out enough business to more than justify the opulent meal that I had lavished upon him courtesy of my expense account (of course).

This time however, the bloke sat over his veal parma and a glass of some slimy looking concoction and sulked for the better part of an hour, the epitome of a stunned mullet. A Geelong supporter suffering post grand final depression. I couldn't stand it!

Here I was, a Melbourne supporter whose club had just finished stone motherless last, won three games for the season – two of them by narrow margins and the other to a team that played with the intent and purpose of a collection of zombies on Zoloft – and this fellow is shedding tears over a team that lost only twice in a span of 25 matches. Go figure!

Finally, he uttered a sentence.

"Do youse want Prismall?" he said in slurred tones as he knocked over his glass and spilled most of the slimy looking liquid onto the lapel of his shirt.

"Beg your pardon."

"Do youse want Prismall?"

I realised then that I was all traded out. I didn't want to hear any more about the AFL, the trades, drafts, grand finals, umpires and other assorted hard luck stories. I politely told him, I didn't think our club could carry another wounded player and changed the subject. We did some business (but not as much as last year) and he left, stumbling over his chair. I wondered whether he was driving home or catching a cab but then it occurred to me that I really didn't care about that either. I was suffering from PTTPS – post traumatic trade period syndrome.

Back at the office, I immersed myself in my work which involves catching up on international trends in my industry and I did this by following up articles in the overseas media. It was while reading a recent article in the London Daily Mail about some of the latest in insurance products that something familiar caught my eye on another part of the page. That something was almost a blur but it was definitely there and it attracted my interest -

The dehumanised landscape of Planet Warnock

The writer of the article is concerned that we are creating a dehumanised society where the weakest are being steadily sacrificed for the benefit of the strong and she really sticks her fangs into a biddy over in the U.K called Baroness Warnock who has "declared that elderly people with dementia are 'wasting' the lives of those who care for them, and have a duty to die in order to stop being a burden to others."

Wow!

I wondered whether she was related to the AFL's Warnock brothers and whether her sad philosophies had any impact on young Robert who is a much sought after ruckman, ostensibly headed for Carlton if the AFL and the Visy millions have their way. I mean, here's a young bloke who would rather play for a cardboard box baron who not long ago copped a whopping $38m fine for some sort of corporate crime or misdemeanour than with his own kith and kin in the form of his older brother. That's inhuman, indecent and bloody well unAustralian if you ask me.

And on top of that, the AFL is aiding him in his cause and it concerns me that the integrity of the competition is being impugned when the ruling body takes a role in seeking to mediate the differences between two clubs over the release of a young player. Surely, the free market should decide his fate? After all, that's the market in which the Blues waved lots of green folding stuff under Warnock's nose. Now they offer that player's club compensation for him that others can better and the AFL steps in? Unless you so involve yourself in all such cases, you are going to lay yourself open to charges of bias and unfair dealing. Do butt out AFL!

I suddenly realised that I was not only getting mad about this but I was also over my bout of PTTPS.

I was ready to jump back into the machinations of trade week but the only problem was that nothing was really happening except for the daily news item to the effect that Melbourne general manager of football operations Chris Connolly is still waiting for word of Brad Green's intentions and that he expects that word to come tomorrow which also just happens to be groundhog day.

Still, tomorrow's Thursday and the exchange period ends early on Friday afternoon - something has to happen soon.

Surely?