pantaloons

I must admit, any time there's a first quarter like this not involving Melbourne, I always get momentarily excited about the possibility of a 191-point final margin.

In fairness, he's only had one possession so it's not a lot of butchery.

It'll be interesting if this is a continuing trend. Scores allowed in the first halves thus far: 5.13.43. Scores allowed in the second halves: 23.10.148.

How about the Gold Coast as a headline? Spoon-fed the two easy beats of the competition first up to get them off to a nice start, and they're 0-2. If they finished bottom two or three I'm sure it wouldn't please the AFL.

Scully and GWS getting flogged at half time.

I do. He took over raw sewage and it's already looking better, even though we still get the odd piece of outrageous filth like today. It's not like he's driving a premiership contender into the dirt. He's taking over a list so embarrassing the previous recruiters would be tried for attempted murder if the club was a human. Good on him. He's going to leave a strong positive legacy at Melbourne. Even if he didn't, as Michael Caine once said of Jaws: The Revenge - "I have never seen the film, but by all accounts it was terrible. However I have seen the house that it built, and it is terrific."

To those who travelled up there for that, you have my sympathies.

56-3. This is one of the all time disgraces we will remember for years to come.

Well that's good news then.

Carlton did in the second quarter - the scoreboard! HEYOOOOO!

No one is getting a Working With Children Check wearing those outfits.

A similar perusal of Twitter indicates figures that are very similar to club memberships. We are ahead of North, Footscray, Gold Coast, Brisbane and GWS on this front. Hawks behind Carlton, Essendon and collingwood. Very difficult for cats, dogs and gerbils to sign up for Twitter apparently.

I just had a quick scan on Facebook of the number of likes for each football club. It was a thoroughly depressing search. Only GWS has fewer likes than us. Obviously not every human is on Facebook, but looking at the numbers we are doing pretty well to have 35,000 members it seems, especially given the last 8 years. 1:2 ratio of members to Facebook likes compared to 1:3 or 1:4 for other clubs. It's a good thing we are embarking on a dynastic era of unparalleled butt-whipping.

Sorry to detour from the themes of general deviancy, but how good is it to be contemplating crazy road trips to watch Melbourne again? I google mapped how long it would take to drive from my place to the arena before deciding that 14.5 hours driving in a day for a football game would not be on the cards. Still, I'm enjoying the optimism. I'll be disappointed if the crowd volume doesn't favour Melbourne on Saturday.

* That special feeling when you open an old bumped thread and discover you haven't said anything idiotic. * As for Aish, Dangerfield or any other quality player on the market at season's end, it will be nice to be buyers for a change if that eventuates.

He'd be lucky to be in their 40 best players. A Gillies-esque DFA signing.

I hope you're right. The trumpeter as a pre-game organised performance was absolute plonk, but I welcome anyone in red and blue to bring an instrument along, be it trumpet, bass drum or jazz flute if it's going to contribute to the atmosphere and crowd noise when it's advantageous for the team.

Won our first three games of 2005 and were on our way to 25-0 when Guerra ruined Bruce's shoulder and our season went south.

Let's just get the first flag under our belt before we worry about next year.

Flowers can be directed to: J Frawley C/O Glenferrie Oval Hawthorn. VIC. 3122

There are some toilet teams I'm looking forward to beating this year.

There's a certain northern suburbs AFL club with expertise in making things disappear he could seek out.

I'm going to give joeboy the benefit of the doubt and assume he meant "taking the Balme".

Some quirks from today: 1. Our greatest winning margin since Round 4, 2013. 2. Our highest score since Round 4, 2013. 3. Including Prestia, we had the top 5 possession winners on the ground. I could go on, but I loved the way we played. The quick way we moved the ball - what team were we watching? It helps having the cattle to pull that off. Full marks to the recruiting team for not only adding quality players but adding guys who can use the ball and take the game on. I've watched the Lumumba goal several times. Spine-tingling.

He was the clown who got reported for cleaning up Kent.