Little Goffy

29 minutes ago, PartyTimeJohnny said:

Why is this an American thing lol?

I call it 'woo woo culture'. Where absolutely anything, no matter how inane or just plain wrong, has to be followed by a crowd indicating their group membership by going woo woo.

Prominently American in English-speaking culture, but not uniquely American of course. You can see it in anything from Korean dating shows (I think she has nice hair... woo woooooo) to the Nuremberg Zeppelinfield.

Those who recall the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy might remember the alien planet where everyone had telepathy, but it got really awkward knowing everyone's thoughts so to mask them everyone began talking constantly about absolute drivel.

Yeah, this kind of [censored] is just that - a screen against sincerity.

23 hours ago, Ethan Tremblay said:

By all accounts, he’s a jet

By al acounts?

Funny to think that both Petracca and Oliver and the Melbourne Football Club are all closer to a next premiership because of the "Great Enema of 25". (I'm trademarking that expression but Demonland members are welcome to use it)

Throw in Nibbler and Grundy and there could be some kind of Demon playing a major role in every premiership for the rest of the decade.

Hmm, have we got any agents planted at Brisbane? Does Fagan count?

Can't we have goal novels instead? Kick a goal, read a page.

Actually we could all do with a bit of 'kick a goal, listen to 30 seconds of Orwell's The Lion and the Unicorn' as read by Ian Mckellan'.

Kick a goal from a snap shot, get Penfold from original Danger Mouse going 'ooh crumbs'.

Kick a goal, Kermit the Frog celebrates continuously until the restart.

Gold Coast are given a 92% chance to best West Coast in that squiggle system.

That is pretty good progress for the Eagles when you consider they are 11 wins from 91 games across all opponents.

Interesting to see Squiggle just slightly favouring Collingwood over Adelaide and North over Port.

Wow, Melb v St Kilda is match of the day on Sunday.

45 minutes ago, chook fowler said:

a tulip bulb.

Indeed, they don't bloom every season, but they are always worth keeping an eye on.

He already has his grandad's arms.

(See also what the gypsy woman said about 2028)

Hope he's all right. Tough time.

Okay, genuine question, what are the best options for an 8-month old?

Is there an academy program he can join? Highly mobile big man at 75cm and 12kg, powerful kick, loves a contest, great below everyone else's knees.

Fast learner, appreciates guidance, but DOES NOT UNDERSTAND OUT OF BOUNDS.

48 minutes ago, old dee said:

I vowed I would never go back to that [censored] hole and never did. If we end up back you can be sure I won't break the vow.

Just go to use the toilets and not flush. 'For history's sake'.

It is a feature of the rucking world.

Preuss, Grundy, and arguably even McInerney from Casey was missed because the position was filled.

At the same time, having that second ruxk option who can also be respectable - just a role player - as a marking target makes a great difference to a team. They stretch defenders and if they are fit enough they really stretch wingers when they offer the long lead.

Right now I'm also recalling Darren Jolly and Stefan Martin who were stuck in the traffic jam behind Jeff White, and Mark Jamar who was the emergent successor.

Ruck is a merry-go-round and having the best is not a problem. We may yet be extremely lucky to have Heath doing the big target 70-30 fwd-ruck role.

I have my own suspicion that Gawn will often drop back to provide some intercepting height, which we know he does well, and that Heath will be a continuously present ruck for the forward portion of the ground. Saves Max a ton of running, supports our vulnerable tall defenders, and is also very appropriate with the new faster ball ups.

7 minutes ago, Timothy Reddan-A'Blew said:

Way to douse a fun thread, Red! 😄

On the bright side, in 2028 while we are winning a premiership, Collingwood will have no Pendlebury, no Moore, only one 30yr old Daicos and a banana's chance in Hobart of rebuilding smoothly. Not only are the drafts compromised, but Tassie will blow out the salary cap market.

The only conclusion is that Geelong and Hawthorn are both unaccountable easy beats.

Huzzah!

Kind of wishing Clarkson had gone to Gold Coast while Hardwick had endes up at North.

Pretty sure Clarrie has kicked at least one goal against Geelong tonight.

Everyone else has!

I think the true strategy is finally taking shape.

Petracca's contract plus putting the pressure on to bump up Humpty's contract. Just that little too much salary cap squeeze.

Ben King free agent.

4D chess being played here.

On 25/02/2026 at 22:00, Ghostwriter said:

Actually, NC… Clarrie knows only one other person with the same first name as mine. She lives in Shepparton and her surname is Cobbledick. If you do get to talk to him when passing on my best wishes (and love) please be sure you say “… from Gosch’s” so as he doesn’t think it’s the other gal (this has happened before). Thanks x

Must be hard to resist saying "From Cosch's".

2 hours ago, roy11 said:

Growing up I kicked a footy with my left foot but a soccer ball with my right. Found that odd.

I'm surprised you didn't fall over doing that.

Amusing myself looking at stats while commuting, and twigged to an odd similarity.

Bailey Humphrey 2025

Jake Melksham 2018

Footywire comparison

Just a couple of clearances a game difference.

Now, I think Melksham's late career bloom at half forward is criminally underrated, but does that mean I think he was worth two first rounders? Hrmm.

5 hours ago, DeedleDumb said:

Shouldn't we follow the formula of stocking up on mids and smalls in the draft and then trade in a couple of established key position players when we are ready to have a tilt? Like we did with Lever, May and Ben Brown before 2021?

Give Dan Curtin a couple of years to develop and I'm sure we can Lever him out of Adelaide.

See what I did there? Gosh I'm hilarious. Maybe we could use a Crowbar?

Geelong to beat Gold Coast for death riding purposes and because it'll be funny when Geelong stumble out of the top 4 late in the season by dropping multiple 'should win' games in the final 6 rounds, including us in round 20.

St Kilda to thrash Collingwood so the Pies can be miserable for 100% of a season, but also so the Saints can get ahead of themselves in time for round 1 against us.

GWS will beat Hawthorn in a farcical game interrupted by storms at the basically open-air Showgrounds stadium, with 8,750 fans getting drenched before and after on the long open concourses between the stadium and all parking/transit options. Oliver will look fine in the wet because finesse ain't gonna be a thing.

Brisbane will beat the Bulldogs in a shootout that will make the media froth their pants while overlooking the dangerous lack of defensive commitment from both sides.

Sydney will carry on the tradition of having star forwards kick bags against Carlton. Carlton will carry on the tradition of their ex-forwards outscoring them, although usually it is collectively, not just one. It'll be a vile game to watch, though, because Sydney is turning on its classic foul humid weather designed to harm all mammals. Expect a last quarter of nonsense. Possibly on-field vomiting.

17 hours ago, Dee Viney Intervention said:

I will not make a deposit in the swear jar when we play Collingwood this year

Surely your swear jar has bought itself a mansion on the coast by now, has moved out and is blocking your calls.

11 hours ago, layzie said:

I'm going to write a book of standard lines to post when a key player signs a long term deal. All your favourites such as:

"Fantastic news. Well done lad!"

" Important to lock down this key piece for the future. This has made my day!"

" Wow!"

"Yessssss"

And many more..

"He signed the roof off"

"Contracting the house down"

One which always applies for young players;

"He could be anything in a few years!"

Like, by 2029 Langford could be a barstool, a giant octopus monster, or a new stand at the 'G.

A figurative and also literal giant of Australian sport - I had the pleasure of once encountering him ducking his way out of a lift at the 'G.

I came to AFL about the time his presence was peaking and his voice and style are synonymous with the game.

Would I even be so invested in the game if not for his beautiful blend of calm enthusiasm? An enthusiasm which always seemed sincere, unconfected, and give space for (and probably amused by) the rest of us periodically losing our minds.

12 hours ago, Nietaphart said:

Seriously? It’s the dogs fault??

Well I know it wasn't me who bit him, officer.

Now I'm having flashbacks to a police transcript which included the line "Yeah, and they sewed my nipple back on"

Get well soon, Fritta. It could be worse.

Aww gee doing just one is hard.

I'm going to stack a few sub-claims into the big one which is of course Melbourne making the top 4.

So the contingent claims are;

Freo lose both games against West Coast, costing them the top 4 slot.

Geelong finally stumble through a combination of age and, finally, scandal breaking through the mysteriously opaque media. Their brittle defence cracks under a Kingsterminded attack, costing them a crucial 8-point game and bringing Melbourne into the top 4 instead of them.

Collingwood just aren't that good, and enter into another long slow decline, with Tasmania playing finals before they do again. Not really related but just fun to picture.

Giants injury crisis hits their top players, with no game this season featuring all of their 2025 best 6 and nobody from that group playing more than 17 games.

Hawks get fugured out and found out by fast counter-attack.

Suns, again, think it'll just happen for them because they are so hot, and drop games they should win.

From the other end of the ladder, each of North, Richmond and West Coast improve significantly while multiple teams finish the season in the 10-12 win range. The shortage of easy pickings means that just 14 wins and good percentage will slip you into 4th spot.

So there it is, my outlandish prediction that has to have the entire season assembled around it.

But lock in the 2028 Demon Premiership. Just like the old gypsy woman said.

How many people can say;

"Won a premiership where the whole team strategy relied on what I could do, which I did better than anyone else in the league."