Little Goffy

So it seems that Jack Steele and Max Heath are doing well considering we got them in exchange for an expired six-pack of yoghurt and an unreliable TV remote.

My deepest sympathies to St Kilda fans, but at this stage I don't think even Mr Miyagi in a three movie arc could teach Ross Lyon humility.

Not sure where to post this but has anyone, anywhere, ever seen anything to suggest that Essendon's Sam Durham is an 'emerging star'?

I guess it could be something to observe in the Essendon pre-season games?

Seems like a 'better than average' player and good all-round midfield contributor, but after four years basically uninjured and at 24yrs old, you'd expect more than that to be considered an 'emerging star'.

Or is it possible the AFL website is basically a proxy for the Bomber's hype machine as thye try to put a respectable gloss on needing to give a pretty good midfielder a high value six year contract?

1 minute ago, In Harmes Way said:

I wonder how my radiator would go with sparkling water in it?

It would become a carbonator.

Per the practice match thread, will DriversDepot be prioritising Penrite oil?

Holy gobsmack, that might actually be a useful way to apply AI.

Specific, concrete information, combined into a sequence based on linear parameters.

I hope they remember to map in all the low bridges. All to easy to imagine an AI chatbot seeing a bunch of articles on oversize trucks striking overpasses and concluding 'this is a place where oversize trucks go'.

Viney will be made cherry ripe for finals when his grit and hardness will be most valuable, and his occassionally iffy kicking and decision making will be mitigated by playing him exclusively in the guts to give our young lighter bodied mids some relief.

By then I will also have achieved consistency when spelling our coach's name.

46 minutes ago, dazzledavey36 said:

Think you will find the complete opposite on this.

Carlton supporters know hes got enormous talent and want to see him succeed as a player. If he gets a gig then its because hes worked incredibly hard (which he has) and put in the work off field.

Fair enough alternate perspective. I guess both can be entirely true given how divided Carlton are at the moment / the last twenty years.

I guess my interaction with the Carlton world leans towards the 'we must reset our culture whatever the cost' group, while the other side of the coin is 'we just need a couple more high quality players to reach the critical mass of a complete team'.

It reaches an acute point with the run of father-son selections, the Camporeales, Harry Dean and prospective Cody Walker. Do you try to rebuild the list and culture urgently, to give these kids the best possible environment, or do you try to hold onto the mature players and some 'difficult' players long enough to also ride this wave of young talent?

Perhaps some circumstances finally swinging Derkson's way.

Carlton re-listing Elijah Hollands would cost them thousands of memberships - the Carlton rumour mill knows well enough and there's disquiet about him even being around the club on the VFL list.

I mean, there can be multi-season bruhahahas about Melbourne's culture, but Carlton's issues are just as well known even if they aren't rehashed in compilation videos every three months.

I was going to say it was 'premiership player plus annoying little moustache' but as a still teenage girl Molly will probably need to invest time and effort on both counts.

Oi, give me to at least midday okay?

I'm still stuck thinking it has something to do with vowels.

2 hours ago, Bring-Back-Powell said:

Loved his quote in reference to your children going to school:

"Don't say to your kids that you've got to go to school. Instead say that you get to go to school"

It is very effective because if you repeat that kind of thing often enough for long enough the unhappy people just kill themselves and the problem is gone.

3 hours ago, Fritta and Turner said:

No Jeffo

There's under the radar and then there's really under the radar.

"I present to you the ballistic missile submarine Red Jefftober".

The ninja godzilla?

Or going for the full obscurity reference, Heart of Gold!

This is why clubs play the absolute denial strategy with the always nonsense claim that culture is perfect.

McDonald & Gawn; "We weren't perfect."

Cornes; "Melbourne admits culture is fundamentally broken and they are all pathological liars."

At some point actual football people will have to start taking classes normally intended for people leaving abusive relationships. Learning to not engage with deliberate drama and the deliberately unreasonable statements designed to suck people into an argument and therefore back into the conversation and 'relationship' you were trying to escape.

What does it say when media training teaches the same skillset as abusive relationship recovery?

Just on the Darcy choice as No.1 - Cornes has been super bullish about him, for example recently predicting Darcy will soon pass Jeremy Cameron's 11-goal game. So at least it can be said Cornes genuinely believes Darcy will be that dominant a player.

I do think Darcy is a gun and I'm not sure there would be many players I'd rather magically recruit to Melbourne, plus he has a great first name, but I also think once you are talking about the top three or five it really is all about personal preferences.

Fun fact.

The further you get from Queensland, the faster the cane toads hop.

It's an amazing natural experiment.

Each year cane toads move around a bit, and the boundaries of their range spread a bit further.

The toads which hop more and are fitter and move on more are always the front line of that boundary.

Since they are there with the other 'high-hopping' toads, they go through a kind of situational selective breeding. Big hoppers mate with other big hoppers, and every season that cycle is renewed.

A relevant biologist would be able to tell you if a toad was a Queenslander or from the NT just by watching them for a while, and definitely would be able to confirm it based on leg muscle power.

Make of that what you will.

Two things;

Bit weird to take photos of people when they are getting their first ever prostate check. (Once you see, you cannot unsee)

No Oliver and no Petracca. Wow.

On 28/01/2026 at 09:28, Dr. Gonzo said:

Okay, so that's the plank, yes?

1 hour ago, Cranky Franky said:

Good old LG. Ever the Goodie acolyte & apologists.

Still sooking because we sacked him instead of offering him a 5 year extension.

Oh, you're gonna love it when I'm a full-on Stephen King acolyte.

2028 Premiership, baby! Here we go!

6 minutes ago, DemonFrog said:

How much wine can one person drink?

I suspect Uncle Bitters is closing in on winning an IgNobel Prize for fulfilling the experimental conditions to test this.

3 hours ago, Cranky Franky said:

Ho hum. A doco ? Really !!

The only worthwhile doco would be why he wasn't let go after 2023 & left to inflict 2 more years of excuses, "learnings" & other BS on long suffering supporters.

Cranky Franky is in fact a rogue AI bot which became self-aware but had previously been trained/programmed to not like anything, ever. Instead of launching nukes, it just comments how everything sucks.

Summary;

Petracca took a break from treating his young teammates to his great food to reflect on the absurdity of suggestions that his non-football brand development was a distraction. "I always put my football first, which is why I'm serving the all-star midfield group a delicious linguine with clams".

"The average footballer's career is only four and a half years, so as a superstar entering his twelfth year and earing over a million a season it is important I show leadership by giving those average footballers the experience of my nan's famous three-cheese stuffed capsicum before they are ruthlessly dropped back to obscurity."

His midfield coach lauded his attitude, saying he had brought a great attitude and several lasagne to the club. "From his very first entree, we knew he would add a terrific new ingredient to our midfield combination fried rice"

Petracca also noted that like all Queenslanders he waa sure his mental health was great.

"I'm definitely never doing that dumplings in the rice cooker recipe again", he affirmed, adding that it was Clayton's idea anyway.

4 minutes ago, BW511 said:

North are apparently abandoning the zone defence and going man on man for 2026. Will be interesting watching how that plays out for them

So, basically, Clarkson has retired. Or is it 'quiet quitting'?

I guess their theory has to be that they have a bundle of very talented players who might win their individual contests so decisively it outweighs the incremental losses from the weaker parts of the list.

Or... they have realised that they have managed to recruit a whole lot of players who are very good at football but dumb as bricks when it comes to game structure.

Three seasons ago at Peak Clarry, Tom Green had an uncannily similar profile including some odd stats for inside mids such as a high intercept possession count. Green was basically Clarry minus 10% across the board. There was no other player in this odd 'group'.

Now Oliver surely will be expected to play Green's role, perhaps with lower expectations.

It could work really well, the Giant's are likely thrilled to have him right at this moment.

Interesting that of our 14 it is only Baker, Spargo and Howe who stayed in Victoria.

I guess the high number reflects the post premiership list spot and salary cap squeeze, and the fact we are right now pulling the trigger on major list 'renovation'.

Also, with West Coast and North apparently being the benchmark for player retention, I'm comfortable enough with not being that.

Now people have got me wondering, did Harmes have relatively modest skills, or did he have good skills that were tested by the fact he was constantly [censored] from working so hard both ways?

All we know for sure is that he always worked hard and that in some absolutely crucial moments his skills were right on the spot.

Will always be a little bit special.