Demonland

EVERYONE'S GONE TO THE MOON by JVM Harry O'Brien's going to see the Dalai Lama, Dane Swan's off with a few of his mates to Flagstaff, Arizona, Daisy Thomas has been to the Tribunal and President Eddie is, um ... well, everywhere as usual. Michael Malthouse, on the other hand, has been up and about, but not in his usual role as coach of the AFL’s premier football team. These days Mick moonlights as a special comments man in the media, whiling away the hours and minutes as his long stint as coach of the Magpies runs down into its final days. He’s not even keeping the seat warm for Nathan Buckley who is due to take over a readymade AFL team in five or six month’s time. As for Mick, he's continuing the pattern of lining up opposition players for abuse (a project begun while on duty at Etihad Stadium last year on veteran Saint’s goal sneak, Stephen Milne) by going on air behind a microphone and labelling young kids as "cheats". Of course, this obsession doesn't apply to his own players who front the AFL Tribunal with straight faces telling cockamamie stories about going for a football that's miles out of their reach while punching an opponent in the jaw. True, his team remains a premiership favourite but where's Mick's focus these days? He is so distracted at the moment that he appears to have forgotten to call the obligatory press conference warning all and sundry that the opposition this week is playing its own grand final for the year in the middle of June. Are the Pies are so cocky and complacent about things these days that they have lost interest in the regular season, setting their sights on what might take place later in the season? I think so. In fact, things are getting so bad over there at Magpieland that you could walk into the Westpac Centre tomorrow and not find a single Collingwood player in sight. That’s because they're here, there and everywhere but in the space where they should be at the present time. The emphasis seems to be on everything but Monday's blockbuster at the G. For the moment, the Collingwood Football Club is so fixated on higher altitudes that they've all gone to the moon. THE GAME Melbourne v. Collingwood at the MCG – Monday 13 June 2011 at 2.10pm HEAD TO HEAD Overall Melbourne 79 wins Collingwood 141 wins 5 draws At the MCG Melbourne 59 wins Collingwood 74 wins 3 draws Since 2000 Melbourne 5 wins Collingwood 8 wins 1 draw The Coaches Bailey 0 wins Malthouse 4 wins 1 draw MEDIA TV Channel 10 at 2:30 PM (delayed telecast) RADIO Triple M SEN K-Rock ABC774 THE BETTING Melbourne to win $5.50 Collingwood to win $1.15 LAST TIME THEY MET Melbourne 11.10.76 drew with Collingwood 9.22.76 The dominant on ball combination of Mark Jamar and Brent Moloney took it right up to the Magpies whose kicking for goal was right off target in a game that finished amid great tension in a tied result. Tarkyn Lockyer kicked the equaliser for the Pies and was rewarded a few weeks later by being axed from the team that eventually won the flag. THE TEAMS MELBOURNE Backs Dan Nicholson James Frawley Joel Macdonald Half backs Cale Morton Jared Rivers James Strauss Centrelin Tom Scully Brent Moloney Liam Jurrah Half forwards Jeremy Howe Jack Watts Jordan Gysberts Forwards Jamie Bennell Colin Sylvia Brad Green Followers Stef Martin Jack Trengove Jordie McKenzie Interchange Michael Evans Max Gawn Neville Jetta Nathan Jones Emergencies Clint Bartram Matthew Bate Ricky Petterd No change COLLINGWOOD Backs Leon Davis Ben Reid Heritier O'Brien Half backs Alan Toovey Nick Maxwell Heath Shaw Centreline Tyson Goldsack Steele Sidebottom Sharrod Wellingham Half forwards Chris Tarrant Chris Dawes Andrew Krakouer Forwards Alan Didak Travis Cloke Leigh Brown Followers Cameron Wood Scott Pendlebury Luke Ball Interchange (from) Jarryd Blair Simon Buckley Alex Fasolo John McCarthy Emergencies Brad Dick Luke Rounds Tom Young In Jarryd Blair Simon Buckley Alex Fasolo Out Dayne Beams (foot) Dane Swan (soreness) Dale Thomas (suspended) SPEAKING OF THINGS LUNAR We might be forgiven, in light of the way the Pies have been conducting themselves towards this game, that they might think of Melbourne as a bit of a joke. So before, I launch into my review of this week’s game, allow me an indulgence thanks to some of the Demonlanders who are providing some rare insights into the monster that has become Collingwood. If you see a Collingwood supporter on a bicycle don't swerve to hit him....It could be your bicycle Q: What do you call a Collingwood supporter in a suit? A: The defendant. You know you're a Collingwood supporter when you've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. Q: How many Collingwood fans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Seven - one to change it, five to moan about it and make excuses and Mick Malthouse to say that if the umpire had done his job in the first place the light bulb would never have gone out. What's the difference between Eddie McGuire and god? God doesn't think he's Eddie McGuire MEANWHILE BACK ON EARTH Collingwood’s depleted midfield power is the main talking point in the lead up to Monday’s Queens Birthday Blockbuster with Melbourne. Dale Thomas is out suspended, Dane Swan is one of four Collingwood players on a 12-day mid-season recovery trip to Arizona and Dayne Beams is out of action for at least a month after breaking a foot in Saturday night's win over St Kilda. That’s the three D’s and at least 80 disposals missing from the team and that’s not taking into account that their premiership ruckman Darren Jolly is another recovering in the States. Of course, Melbourne people will say that these omissions are largely counteracted by their own long list on injured and missing players including Mark Jamar, Jack Grimes, Aaron Davey, Colin Garland, Rohan Bail, Luke Tapscott and Austin Wonaeamirri and a few others. I will nevertheless, happily accept the number of injured/rested/suspended players as an excuse for a Magpie defeat on Monday. Their supporters have my permission to bleat and whine to their collective hearts’ content in those circumstances. The question is, how likely is it that Collingwood will, in fact, lose this game? The answer is that it’s unlikely but if Melbourne can continue on from the form of last Friday night then it must be considered a chance of causing an upset. Then again, if it reverts to the previous week’s shambles of a performance, the Mick Malthouse will be smiling contentedly by mid afternoon and wondering what saying of the great Confucius he can mangle during his after match press conference. Now, let’s go back to the midfield contests and it’s here that you realise how fate has blessed the Magpies with a fair amount of midfield depth. Even without the 3D’s, Collingwood still has one of the best in the competition in vice-captain Scott Pendlebury who had a great year in 2010 winning the Anzac Medal, achieving All-Australian honours for the first time and capping it all off with the Norm Smith Medal in a premiership side. They say he’s been even better this year. Luke Ball is another All-Australian from his St. Kilda days who had his best season in 2005 the year he also won the club best and fairest. This year, he has returned to his old form as a strong tackling midfielder. This duo heads a strong group who can play in the middle and will be augmented by some handy players in Sharrod Wellingham, Steele Sidebottom, Jarryd Blair and perhaps Andrew Krakouer. Ben Johnson and Simon Buckley are also due to return to the fold from injury. But what of Melbourne’s midfield? It was not that long ago that the Demons’ midfield was considered as a relic of the Stone Ages but in recent weeks the infusion of Tom Scully, Jack Trengove (Back from suspension) and Jordie McKenzie (back from a groin injury) together with the re-emergence of Jordan Gysberts have made the lives of Brent Moloney and Nathan Jones so much easier. This young group has a lot going for it, in particular its versatility. There’s a bit of everything in there and the presence of Michael Evans and Dan Nicholson has added some more bite to this all important division. If they get going, then Mick needs to watch out! Collingwood does have enormous strength up forward in the guise of in form Travis Cloke, Chris Dawes and the ability of Leigh Brown to go forward and kick goals. Then there’s Alan Didak and Dick (no further comment needs to be appended). However, Melbourne's defence has in form players in "Chip" Frawley, Jared Rivers and Joel Macdonald and the outcome of some of the duels in this part of the ground could well prove decisive. I’m very tempted to go for Melbourne to win this because of the significantly weakened midfield but, in the end, it all gets down to attitude. If the Demons fail to come out with the same attitude they brought into the Essendon game last week and instead, bring a negative mindset into this week’s game, then the absence of Jolly, Swan, Thomas and co. will mean absolutely nothing. I’m tipping Collingwood by 10 points in a close contest and unfortunately, that's no joke!

Adrian Anderson talks a lot about the "integrity" of the game. If the administrators really cared about the game then they would look into whether Thomas' evidence was satisfactory. Perhaps an extra two matches might be appropriate if a player is found to have tried to cheat by giving unsatisfactory evidence. That's if they're really interested in the integrity of the game.

Maybe another week's rest to ensure he's 100% right?

The teams as selected this time last year for the game that Mick Malthouse described as "Melbourne's Grand Final for 2010":- MELBOURNE Backs Clint Bartram Matthew Warnock James Frawley Half backs Nathan Jones Jared Rivers Jack Grimes Centreline Cameron Bruce Jack Trengove Tom Scully Half forwards Neville Jetta Matthew Bate Lynden Dunn Forwards Brad Green Brad Miller Aaron Davey Followers Mark Jamar Brent Moloney Jordie McKenzie Interchange (from) Colin Garland Jordan Gysberts Cale Morton Jack Watts Emergencies Jamie Bennell Kyle Cheney Paul Johnson In Lynden Dunn James Frawley Jordie McKenzie Out Jamie Bennell James McDonald (hamstring) Colin Sylvia COLLINGWOOD Backs Heath Shaw Simon Prestigiacomo Leigh Brown Half backs Harry O'Brien Nick Maxwell Alan Toovey Centreline Sharrod Wellingham Dane Swan Steele Sidebottom Half forwards Paul Medhurst Travis Cloke Alan Didak Forwards Dayne Beams Brent Macaffer Leon Davis Followers Darren Jolly Scott Pendlebury Dale Thomas Interchange (from) Jaxson Barham Josh Fraser Tarkyn Lockyer Ben Reid Emergencies Chris Dawes Brad Dick Tyson Goldsack In Jaxson Barham Tarkyn Lockyer Out Luke Ball (groin) Ben Johnson (ankle)

WIND IN THE SAILS by KC from Casey As patrons entered Trevor Barker Beach Oval on Sunday they were greeted by a howling and inhospitable north wind that swirled across the ground ending in one of its forward pockets. In the background, the bay was foaming with white caps and the chill of the day heralded the first game of true winter. All of the signs that a dour defensive contest between Sandringham and the Casey Scorpions was about to unfold were present and that is precisely what happened that afternoon. Two and a half hours later, only a couple of points separated the sides before a Matthew Bate goal sealed the deal for the visitors. Bate was to have one further shot at goal but that one missed before Casey ran out the winner by 10 points in a low scoring game which was a danger game for the Scorpions coming off last week’s defeat against Williamstown at Werribee. The Zebras scored a big victory the following day at the same venue against the Werribee Tigers and they had five players available who played in last year's AFL grand final as well as a good number of other St. Kilda listed players. Casey still had its share of Demons in the side but the numbers available have been constantly dwindling due to some well documented injury problems at the club. The injuries have not only hit the AFL part of the alignment. Casey star Kyle Matthews who is still co-captain with James Wall has yet to return after his injury stricken season in 2010. He was hampered early on with a hamstring injury and lately has been recovering from a leg problem and remains one to two weeks away from a return. Matt Fieldsend was also out this week with a groin injury but should be back next week while last year’s top recruit Danny Nicholls (leg) is not due to play again until Round 14. Casey did get one major bonus inclusion in the form of Hawthorn premiership ruckman Robert Campbell who is now on Melbourne’s rookie list. Against a formidable line up of talls from Sandringham, Campbell excelled in the ruck and showed good form for one whose season so far has been severely hampered by an Achilles injury. He was assisted by Tom McDonald who was very composed in the ruck and around the ground. Sandringham was made to struggle early when it had first use of the wind. Co-skipper Wall showed great leadership around the flanks and wings constantly running the ball out of defence and he was aided and abetted by solid performers in Matthew Warnock, Tim Mohr and Evan Panozza. Warnock, who was originally a product of the Sandringham club, truly relished his return to his old territory and collected 27 possessions whilst playing deep in defence. Speedster Sam Blease was also effective in moving play across the lines and, when the Zebras looked like getting away from the Scorpions, Tom McDonald chimed in with a handy goal against the wind aided by a 50 metre penalty. Casey set about the task of eliminating Sandy's 15-point quarter time lead but found the going tough in the swirly conditions. Gradually, goals to Ricky Petterd, Bate and Blease enabled the Scorps to grab a narrow half time lead. The Casey defence held firm again in the third quarter and, for the first time in the game, we witnessed some bright open play with Bate kicking his second goal. He was also involved in Brendon Fevola's only game for the windswept game through a handball to the front of goal. The Scorpions had their opportunities to take the lead and scores remained close until very late in the term when a defensive mix up put the Zebras eight points in front as the siren sounded with thirty minutes left to play. It was Bate again who proved the difference in the final term. His third goal for the match levelled the scores eight minutes into the term and Ricky Petterd added his second to give his side a seven point lead. Then followed a good period for the Zebras as they refused to capitulate in the face of the strong wind. They clawed their way back into the game and things were tense until Bate put the wind in his team’s sails by drilling his fourth. He was the game’s leading goal kicker and stood out on a day that was not made for forwards. However, it was certainly a day for the redheads and his team mate, Blease continued to be in everything to finish with 28 possessions, one less than Wall who was the standout player along with the Demon duo. Rian McGough and Bill Petropoulos (up from the reserves) were both busy and added some bite to the team throughout the game underlying the club’s depth. The Scorpions have retaken fourth position on the VFL ladder, behind the big three in Port Melbourne, Williamstown and the Northern Bullants and they now prepare to meet Collingwood VFL at home on Saturday as a prelude to the Queens Birthday Blockbuster between Melbourne and Collingwood two days later. A big crowd is expected notwithstanding that the contest is the ABC’s VFL telecast game. Casey Scorpions 1.4.10 4.6.30 6.7.43 9.15.69 Sandringham 4.1.25 4.4.28 7.9.51 8.11.59 Goals Casey Scorpions Bate 4 Petterd 2 Blease Fevola McDonald Sandringham Lourey 3 Irving 2 Ferraro Gamble Johnson Best Casey Scorpions Wall Blease Bate Petterd McGough Warnock Sandringham Clarke Irving Smith McQualter Walsh Lourey The Casey Reserves got up by 26 points after being well down at half time. A slashing third quarter saw them take the lead at the last break and they coasted home with a six goal final quarter. Stef Baumgartner was his team’s best. Casey Scorpions 0.2.2 5.4.34 9.8.62 15.10.100 Sandringham 5.4.34 7.9.51 8.11.59 10.14.74 Goals Casey Scorpions Hill 4 Pollard Riseley Waite 3 Carew McShane Sandringham Michaliades 4 Crocker Jones 2 Cahill Jetta Best Casey Scorpions Baumgartner McShane Pollard Riseley Bolton Allen Sandringham Michaliades Ferguson Wade Andrews Smith-Cameron Crocker

WIND IN THE SAILS by KC from Casey As patrons entered Trevor Barker Beach Oval on Sunday they were greeted by a howling and inhospitable north wind that swirled across the ground ending in one of its forward pockets. In the background, the bay was foaming with white caps and the chill of the day heralded the first game of true winter. All of the signs that a dour defensive contest between Sandringham and the Casey Scorpions was about to unfold were present and that is precisely what happened that afternoon. Two and a half hours later, only a couple of points separated the sides before a Matthew Bate goal sealed the deal for the visitors. Bate was to have one further shot at goal but that one missed before Casey ran out the winner by 10 points in a low scoring game which was a danger game for the Scorpions coming off last week’s defeat against Williamstown at Werribee. The Zebras scored a big victory the following day at the same venue against the Werribee Tigers and they had five players available who played in last year's AFL grand final as well as a good number of other St. Kilda listed players. Casey still had its share of Demons in the side but the numbers available have been constantly dwindling due to some well documented injury problems at the club. The injuries have not only hit the AFL part of the alignment. Casey star Kyle Matthews who is still co-captain with James Wall has yet to return after his injury stricken season in 2010. He was hampered early on with a hamstring injury and lately has been recovering from a leg problem and remains one to two weeks away from a return. Matt Fieldsend was also out this week with a groin injury but should be back next week while last year’s top recruit Danny Nicholls (leg) is not due to play again until Round 14. Casey did get one major bonus inclusion in the form of Hawthorn premiership ruckman Robert Campbell who is now on Melbourne’s rookie list. Against a formidable line up of talls from Sandringham, Campbell excelled in the ruck and showed good form for one whose season so far has been severely hampered by an Achilles injury. He was assisted by Tom McDonald who was very composed in the ruck and around the ground. Sandringham was made to struggle early when it had first use of the wind. Co-skipper Wall showed great leadership around the flanks and wings constantly running the ball out of defence and he was aided and abetted by solid performers in Matthew Warnock, Tim Mohr and Evan Panozza. Warnock, who was originally a product of the Sandringham club, truly relished his return to his old territory and collected 27 possessions whilst playing deep in defence. Speedster Sam Blease was also effective in moving play across the lines and, when the Zebras looked like getting away from the Scorpions, Tom McDonald chimed in with a handy goal against the wind aided by a 50 metre penalty. Casey set about the task of eliminating Sandy's 15-point quarter time lead but found the going tough in the swirly conditions. Gradually, goals to Ricky Petterd, Bate and Blease enabled the Scorps to grab a narrow half time lead. The Casey defence held firm again in the third quarter and, for the first time in the game, we witnessed some bright open play with Bate kicking his second goal. He was also involved in Brendon Fevola's only goal for the windswept game through a handball to the front of goal. The Scorpions had their opportunities to take the lead and scores remained close until very late in the term when a defensive mix up put the Zebras eight points in front as the siren sounded with thirty minutes left to play. It was Bate again who proved the difference in the final term. His third goal for the match levelled the scores eight minutes into the term and Ricky Petterd added his second to give his side a seven point lead. Then followed a good period for the Zebras as they refused to capitulate in the face of the strong wind. They clawed their way back into the game and things were tense until Bate put the wind in his team’s sails by drilling his fourth. He was the game’s leading goal kicker and stood out on a day that was not made for forwards. However, it was certainly a day for the redheads and his team mate, Blease continued to be in everything to finish with 28 possessions, one less than Wall who was the standout player along with the Demon duo. Rian McGough and Bill Petropoulos (up from the reserves) were both busy and added some bite to the team throughout the game underlying the club’s depth. The Scorpions have retaken fourth position on the VFL ladder, behind the big three in Port Melbourne, Williamstown and the Northern Bullants and they now prepare to meet Collingwood VFL at home on Saturday as a prelude to the Queens Birthday Blockbuster between Melbourne and Collingwood two days later. A big crowd is expected notwithstanding that the contest is the ABC’s VFL telecast game. HOW THE DEMONS FARED Thanks again to Melon 22 for these snaps of the twelve Demons who took part in the game. It's worth noting that a month ago Casey fielded 14 Melbourne players in its senior team and another six in the reserves. The make up of the current team is very different to that time and it must be a tough gig coaching a side whose personnel changes so rapidly from week to week. Matthew Bate (9 kicks, 7 handballs, 7 marks, 4 goals) - was the only key forward from either team to have a big impact on the game in a tough day for tall forwards. Kicked a sensational goal from 50m on the boundary to seal the game for Casey in the last quarter in an overall really good performance. Matthew Bate (9 kicks, 7 handballs, 7 marks, 4 goals) - Sam Blease (22 kicks, 6 handballs, 1 mark, 1 goal) - is showing massive improvement each week and this was his most complete game so far. He has lifted his intensity at the moment which is a good step for him and is allowing the Casey coaching staff to trust him in a few more roles. Still needs to tidy of a few defensive issues in his game but his rapid development in the last month sees him very close to making his AFL debut. Robert Campbell (2 kicks, 9 handballs, 1 mark) – one of the highlights of the game was to see him play for Casey, get through the game and have a big impact. Rucked against Koschitzke and Archer and got the best of them; he has a big body and he is very good at using it in the ruck and around the clearances. Lucas Cook (7 kicks, 6 handballs, 4 marks) - one of his better games of the year; made some superb goal assists and was one of the few on the ground to hit his targets inside 50. Lucas probably would like to start kicking a few more goals to add to his game but this was a very pleasing performance. Troy Davis (9 kicks, 10 handballs, 6 marks) - has already made a big impact in two senior VFL games and looks very comfortable at this level. Was good defensively one on one and was also able to give good run out of defence as well, I would think he has cemented his spot in the senior Casey team in only two games and I can’t see him being put back into the reserves this year barring injury. Lynden Dunn (9 kicks, 3 handballs, 1 mark) – had an inside mid role in which he did well in the clearances but he would probably have liked to get more involved with the play around the ground. Cameron Johnston (7 kicks, 3 handballs, 3 marks) - worked hard and did a good job defensively in the back pocket. Cam is a player who always puts 100% in at the contest. Addam Maric (8 kicks, 8 handballs, 1 mark) - played mainly forward and while he got a bit of the ball he struggled to have an impact on the game. Needs to work harder to get involved in the game and improve his second efforts if he is to get back into the AFL. Thomas McDonald (6 kicks, 12 handballs, 4 marks) - continues to impress and is becoming very consistent, he is always putting in good effort. He is being asked to play a variety of roles at the moment and it is to his credit that he is able to have an impact wherever he is playing. The coaches must be delighted with his progress and the kid deserves to make his debut at some time this year. Tom McNamara (9 kicks, 2 handballs) - has been pushed into the midfield due to other midfielders going up to fill vacancies at Melbourne (and the feeling that he might not be tall enough for a key defender’s position). While his effort is high he is not having sufficient impact in the middle and is probably more suited to the backline where he seems more comfortable Ricky Petterd (13 kicks, 13 handballs, 7 marks, 2 goals) -played on a wing and while he made a few errors in the game he responded exactly the way player out of form should by working hard. His second efforts and attack on the ball were fantastic and general attitude was great. His disposal was a bit wasteful at times and he wasn’t clean below his knees but he got better as the game wore on and that was due mainly to his work rate. Matthew Warnock (9 kicks, 18 handballs, 8 marks) - another good game at this level from Matty. He is a real leader of the Casey backline and he always puts in a 100% effort. Casey Scorpions 1.4.10 4.6.30 6.7.43 9.15.69 Sandringham 4.1.25 4.4.28 7.9.51 8.11.59 Goals Casey Scorpions Bate 4 Petterd 2 Blease Fevola McDonald Sandringham Lourey 3 Irving 2 Ferraro Gamble Johnson Best Casey Scorpions Wall Blease Bate Petterd McGough Warnock Sandringham Clarke Irving Smith McQualter Walsh Lourey The Casey Reserves got up by 26 points after being well down at half time. A slashing third quarter saw them take the lead at the last break and they coasted home with a six goal final quarter. Stef Baumgartner was his team’s best. Casey Scorpions 0.2.2 5.4.34 9.8.62 15.10.100 Sandringham 5.4.34 7.9.51 8.11.59 10.14.74 Goals Casey Scorpions Hill 4 Pollard Riseley Waite 3 Carew McShane Sandringham Michaliades 4 Crocker Jones 2 Cahill Jetta Best Casey Scorpions Baumgartner McShane Pollard Riseley Bolton Allen Sandringham Michaliades Ferguson Wade Andrews Smith-Cameron Crocker

Jack Trengove and Jared Rivers are mounting serious challenges to Beamer's hold on the Player of the Year ... 70 . Brent Moloney 64 . Jack Trengove 58 . Jared Rivers 55 . Stefan Martin 48 . Nathan Jones 42 . Colin Sylvia 41 . Jack Watts 37 . Mark Jamar 35 . Rohan Bail 27 . Jordan Gysberts 25 . Luke Tapscott 17 . Colin Garland 16 . Liam Jurrah 13 . Neville Jetta 11 . Jordie McKenzie 10 . Ricky Petterd 9 . James Frawley Brad Green 8 . Aaron Davey Addam Maric 7 . Jamie Bennell Michael Evans 3 . Clint Bartram Michael Newton 2 . Jack Grimes 1 . Jeremy Howe Joel Macdonald Cale Morton Tom Scully Matthew Warnock

ALL I KNOW by the Oracle "I bruise you, you bruise me We both bruise too easily ..." [Art Garfunkel - All I Know] We all bruise easily at certain moments in our lives. The dreadful and insulting controversy of last week about the way that a heavily undermanned Melbourne allegedly played "bruise fee" football started by some of Carlton's lesser lights and fueled by a sensationist media was more about perception than reality and had very little to do with the way Melbourne responded to the week's off field events. Certainly, Melbourne did respond to its poor showing against Carlton by handing out a psychological bruising to the Bombers but it was more about the way in which the club approached the game, first in the selection and then in how it adopted and carried out its tactics and strategies than anything else. This game was about taking risks more than about the individual's fear of physical bruising. Melbourne put the difficulties of the past weeks behind it with some boldness at the selection table. Players were omitted from the previous week because their form did not warrant selection. The start was the non selection of Lynden Dunn on return from suspension a fortnight earlier in the game against North Melbourne when he played poorly. It would have been easy to slip him back into the team but the selectors deemed there was a price to pay if players lack the necessary application. The selectors also opted to send Matthew Bate, Addam Maric, Ricky Petterd and Matthew Warnock back to Casey as well. With Aaron Davey out through injury and an ailing and homesick Austin Wonaeamirri back home on compassionate leave in the Tiwi Islands, the football department went for youth to lift the team by the bootstraps - two debutants and three others who first played in Round 1, 2010 came in making it the least experienced of all teams in the competition including the newly formed Gold Coast Suns. With a team composed of so many players with less than 50 games experience and five with no more than two matches, the scene was set for a big win for an Essendon fighting for top four honours at the MCG. And when you consider that the club was forced to remove Colin Sylvia from the game with a corked thigh and replace him with second game substitute Dan Nicholson midway through the second quarter, a Demon victory became even more unlikely. The Demons certainly played a hard brand of football as was attested by them winning the contested possession count by 148 to 133 and by effecting far more tackles (77-51) on the night but it was a case of brain not brawn and skilful efficiency that tipped the scales in their favour. The Demons were more attacking and it showed from the start when they opened up with the first two goals to Brad Green and and Sylvia. Soon after Jack Watts emphasised his growing stature in the game with a strong mark and a goal at the top of the goal square to give his team three of the first four goals of the match setting off alarm bells in the Essendon camp. The Bombers responded taking the lead before the first break and extending it in the opening seconds of the next term but the Demons were persistent. They continually used handball to get themselves out of trouble (sometimes with the reverse effect) but the plugged away. A couple of magnificent Patrick Ryder goals was all that stood between Melbourne and the lead at half time. The third quarter was a classic for the Demons. Slowly but surely the midfield took the ascendency and goals flowed as their use of the ball became more positive and the confidence of the group visibly grew. The dividend was six goals and change to a single point for the quarter. The Bombers had been mentally bruised. There was always going to be a counterattack aided by some poor kicking for goal by Melbourne but this young side was not going to say die. Despite the fact that the Bombers had 15 more inside 50s, the Demons emerged victors by 33 points, a testament to the strength of a defence led brilliantly by Jared Rivers, James Frawley and Joel Macdonald, the goalkicking of Brad Green and Liam Jurrah with four and three goals respectively, a winning ruck led by Stef Martin ably backed up by newcomer Max Gawn and a young/old midfield bolstered by the return of brilliant duo Tom Scully (whose 24 possessions were sublime after so many weeks out) and Jack Trengove (28 touches), the continuing rise of Jordan Gysberts (30 disposals and eight marks) and the hard tackling of Jordie McKenzie (28 possessions and countless tackles) in his third game back after missing the early part of the season. Not to be forgotten was the role of Brent Moloney (28 disposals) who capped the game off with a ripping goal to the thunderous applause of the Demon faithful. Nathan Jones was also tough in the clinches and Neville Jetta and Jamie Bennell contributed to the run of the team. Jeremy Howe was promising on debut with some strong marking adding something around the ground that has been missing in recent weeks. His goal in the third quarter was a gem. The Demons' week from hell restored some balance to the club's season and, while the team played a hard brand of football it handed out no more bruises to the opposition than were expected. The matter of the "bruise free" allegations could play itself out later in the season but, for the moment, it has been laid to rest as yet another furphy on which the football media uses to peddle its wares for one given week of the season before it moves on to the next confected headline. Meanwhile, the Demons are back on track thanks to an injection of youth. The journey continues and, in the short term, there will still be ups and downs. That's all I know. Melbourne 3.0.18 5.4.34 11.6.72 15.11.101 Essendon 3.2.20 6.5.41 6.6.42 10.8. 68 Goals Melbourne Green 4 Jurrah 3 Jetta Moloney 2 Howe Scully Sylvia Watts Essendon Ryder 2 Crameri Hardingham Hille Howlett Melksham Monfries Stanton Zaharakis Best Melbourne Gysberts Macdonald McKenzie Moloney Trengove Rivers Green Essendon Melksham Heppell Lonergan Howlett Stanton Hibberd Injuries Melbourne Sylvia (corked thigh) Essendon Nil Changes Melbourne Nil Essendon Nil Reports Melbourne Nil Essendon Nil Umpires Donlon Rosebury Mollison Crowd 53,077 at the MCG

SCENES FROM THE ROOMS by Whispering Jack A long time ago I used to get into the Melbourne Clubrooms at the G with a few mates and we were lucky enough to be permitted to nestle under the rubdown tables while the great Norm Smith would deliver his address, mostly in loud, harsh tones that would sometimes reach the hot gospeller's crescendo at the moment just before they would run out to do battle. Fast forward several decades and the old cramped quarters are gone, the rooms are now spacious and there are rooms off rooms where the players are massaged, where brief messages are delivered and tactics are discussed using whiteboards. There are all manner of persons scurrying around the place, some with GPS machines and the like. Science has taken over. About the only two things that have remained static, as if suspended in time are the ever present smell of linament and the menacing looking doormen who closely inspect you those who enter the door (us little blokes used to sneak in under their radar). We were there to catch the jumper presentation for Max Gawn as his sponsors but were a trifle late thanks to the 5.19 train arriving at Malvern Station at 5.24. By the time we made it to the rooms deep under the Ponsford Stand, underwent stringent security checks and uttered the oath of allegiance to all things red and blue, the presentations of #37 to Max and #38 to Jeremy Howe were over. The players were out of sight in the spacious main room of the change area. We met Max's family. They looked anxious and we wished them well before going back upstairs to grab a bite to eat. There, we watched the game that was being shown on the screens at the ground - the 2004 Elimination Final, which Melbourne lost by 5 points to Essendon after producing a six or seven goal to nil third term to grab the lead at the last break. There was no use for insipid alternate jumpers in those times, just as there is no place for them these days. I was wondering if I would ever see the Demons produce such a magical quarter like that on the G again and I didn't have to wait long. Then I realised in a poignant moment that this was Troy Broadbridge's last game of football ever, the realisation made a little sadder still with the understanding that he was on his way to being a very good footballer. We were due to make our way back to the rooms for the warm up at 6.30 and this time, we weren't going to miss out on anything. 6.31 Sam Blease is having kicks with Jordan Gysberts. Tom Scully sits quietly deep in thought on the dressing room floor. I had drawn Gysberts as first goalkicker in a Cheer Squad raffle and I was tempted to ask Jordie to push forward as much as possible in the early stages but then I thought I had better not. 6.33 Nathan Jones is wearing boxing gloves in the colours of the indigenous flag. Another bald bloke comes in and they start sparring. Then they go full on ... bang, bang ... no bruise free stuff here. Please mister, don't knock him out. We have enough out injured as it is! 6.40 Jack Watts and Jack Trengove are having a kick to kick. Beamer's now boxing with the bald bloke and they're going at it hammer and tong. Jonesy is handballing and kicking with Scotty West. 6.42 Max Gawn saunters in and he really is big. I notice there's some strapping on his knee. This proved to be a godsend later in the evening when I was sitting in the gods on Level 4. The strapping came in handy as a point of differentiation of players who all appear like ants when you view the game in the rarified atmosphere above the ground. It's very difficult to distinguish between the numbers 31 and 37 on the backs of player's jumpers from up there! 6.45 Most of the team are in the room. The invited guests are sitting at the back of the room behind bars. I feel like Nelson Mandela on Robin Island. 6.47 They're warming up and the smell of linament pervades the air. Dean Bailey's quietly standing in the background. 6.49 Dan Nicholson is wearing the green vest (again). At this stage you realise that most of the team are fresh faced kids. This is a very, very young team and I'm beginning to regret my very public decision to select the Demons to win over Essendon by a comfortable 21 points. How can a team so youthful be expected to win over a top four contender? 6.51 Liam Jurrah looks graceful even in the warm up. They're swinging their legs. Now moving in circles in a sideways motion. 6.53 It's quiet, a last flourish and the players leave. 6.58 Chris Connolly joins us, gives recognition to former player Michael O'Sullivan who wore # 6 in the 80s and played on a wing. Robbie Flower had the other wing. 7.00 We are taken on a short tour through passageways, past an area where there are rubdown tables and where the smell of linament prevails. 7.04 We are in what I would call "the situation room". There's a large whiteboard on the wall containing the players' names in colour coded groups. They are tonight's match ups. Connolly has already warned us to turn off our mobile phones. No photos and no communication with the outside world. It feels as if we're about to pull off something really earth shattering like capturing and killing Osama bin Laden. No, tonight's task is to beat Essendon. A far more difficult and important assignment. 7.05 Two injured players, Rohan Bail and Luke Tapscott are also with us. They answer questions about how they felt playing in their debut games. Tappy's first was the drawn game against the Swans, an unreal experience. A Queenslander, Bail made his AFL debut in Round 19 of the 2009 AFL season at Etihad but injured a quadriceps muscle in the warm up. He had one kick and was off after the first minute so his second game early in the following season was really another debut. The players were asked when they were due to return from injury but I am reminded that we are sworn to secrecy on pain of death about revealing top secret information. If you want to know when Bail and Tapscott are due back then check out the club's injury list on Tuesday or, better still, wait till you see them in action on the ground and you'll know for sure. 7.18 We return to the main change room waiting for the team to do their final thing before running out onto the hallowed turf. 7.21 Now they come in again and there's much more noise. I have a feeling that the lads are "on" tonight. There's a feeling of purpose about the group and Brad Green, Brent Moloney and Jared Rivers are in there geeing them up. They are among the few playing tonight who are in the zone that you can call "mature footballers". How different things are at other clubs like Geelong and Collingwood! 7.27 We make our way back to the Southern Stand where our seats are waiting above the ozone layer. As we leave the rooms, we notice the forlorn sight of Jack Grimes in moonboots. "All the best mate." He smiles. The next part of the evening remains a blur but it turned out to be an enjoyable one. Maxy did well. He had a share of the hit outs, got some of the football and began the process of acclimatising to the sport in the best possible way by doing his job as backup ruckman in a winning team. 10.18 They're in the rooms singing "It's a Grand Old Flag" with gusto. The place is wall to wall with people. I'll double up on my winning bet from tonight's game by wagering that there was nowhere near this number here at this same time last week. 10.23 In among the throng, I bump into Neville Jetta Snr. I say he must be proud of his young bloke today. He remembers me from the Demonland/Demonology game in February and says he still feels the soreness of the experience. 10.45 Maxy Gawn's white club away jumper has been drenched with red Powerade. It actually now looks like a half decent away strip. But it's time to go and I never get the chance to congratulate him although I do pass on my best to the folks. 10.55 On the concourse on the way out of the G, I recall the days of old when Smithy used to reign over his champion team in cramped dingy rooms a world away from the facilities at the disposal of today's AFL coaches. In those days, legend has it that they used to turn off the hot water to the showers in the visiting teams' rooms. Maybe next week, we can manufacture a sewer leak in the Collingwood rooms like last year?

Thanks Rusty. Interesting information.

SCENES FROM THE ROOMS by Whispering Jack A long time ago I used to get into the Melbourne Clubrooms at the G with a few mates and we were lucky enough to be permitted to nestle under the rubdown tables while the great Norm Smith would deliver his address, mostly in loud, harsh tones that would sometimes reach the hot gospeller's crescendo at the moment just before they would run out to do battle. Fast forward several decades and the old cramped quarters are gone, the rooms are now spacious and there are rooms off rooms where the players are massaged, where brief messages are delivered and tactics are discussed using whiteboards. There are all manner of persons scurrying around the place, some with GPS machines and the like. Science has taken over. About the only two things that have remained static, as if suspended in time are the ever present smell of linament and the menacing looking doormen who closely inspect you those who enter the door (us little blokes used to sneak in under their radar). We were there to catch the jumper presentation for Max Gawn as his sponsors but were a trifle late thanks to the 5.19 train arriving at Malvern Station at 5.24. By the time we made it to the rooms deep under the Ponsford Stand, underwent stringent security checks and uttered the oath of allegiance to all things red and blue, the presentations of #37 to Max and #38 to Jeremy Howe were over. The players were out of sight in the spacious main room of the change area. We met Max's family. They looked anxious and we wished them well before going back upstairs to grab a bite to eat. There, we watched the game that was being shown on the screens at the ground - the 2004 Elimination Final, which Melbourne lost by 5 points to Essendon after producing a six or seven goal to nil third term to grab the lead at the last break. There was no use for insipid alternate jumpers in those times, just as there is no place for them these days. I was wondering if I would ever see the Demons produce such a magical quarter like that on the G again and I didn't have to wait long. Then I realised in a poignant moment that this was Troy Broadbridge's last game of football ever, the realisation made a little sadder still with the understanding that he was on his way to being a very good footballer. We were due to make our way back to the rooms for the warm up at 6.30 and this time, we weren't going to miss out on anything. 6.31 Sam Blease is having kicks with Jordan Gysberts. Tom Scully sits quietly deep in thought on the dressing room floor. I had drawn Gysberts as first goalkicker in a Cheer Squad raffle and I was tempted to ask Jordie to push forward as much as possible in the early stages but then I thought I had better not. 6.33 Nathan Jones is wearing boxing gloves in the colours of the indigenous flag. Another bald bloke comes in and they start sparring. Then they go full on ... bang, bang ... no bruise free stuff here. Please mister, don't knock him out. We have enough out injured as it is! 6.40 Jack Watts and Jack Trengove are having a kick to kick. Beamer's now boxing with the bald bloke and they're going at it hammer and tong. Jonesy is handballing and kicking with Scotty West. 6.42 Max Gawn saunters in and he really is big. I notice there's some strapping on his knee. This proved to be a godsend later in the evening when I was sitting in the gods on Level 4. The strapping came in handy as a point of differentiation of players who all appear like ants when you view the game in the rarified atmosphere above the ground. It's very difficult to distinguish between the numbers 31 and 37 on the backs of player's jumpers from up there! 6.45 Most of the team are in the room. The invited guests are sitting at the back of the room behind bars. I feel like Nelson Mandela on Robin Island. 6.47 They're warming up and the smell of linament pervades the air. Dean Bailey's quietly standing in the background. 6.49 Dan Nicholson is wearing the green vest (again). At this stage you realise that most of the team are fresh faced kids. This is a very, very young team and I'm beginning to regret my very public decision to select the Demons to win over Essendon by a comfortable 21 points. How can a team so youthful be expected to win over a top four contender? 6.51 Liam Jurrah looks graceful even in the warm up. They're swinging their legs. Now moving in circles in a sideways motion. 6.53 It's quiet, a last flourish and the players leave. 6.58 Chris Connolly joins us, gives recognition to former player Michael O'Sullivan who wore # 6 in the 80s and played on a wing. Robbie Flower had the other wing. 7.00 We are taken on a short tour through passageways, past an area where there are rubdown tables and where the smell of linament prevails. 7.04 We are in what I would call "the situation room". There's a large whiteboard on the wall containing the players' names in colour coded groups. They are tonight's match ups. Connolly has already warned us to turn off our mobile phones. No photos and no communication with the outside world. It feels as if we're about to pull off something really earth shattering like capturing and killing Osama bin Laden. No, tonight's task is to beat Essendon. A far more difficult and important assignment. 7.05 Two injured players, Rohan Bail and Luke Tapscott are also with us. They answer questions about how they felt playing in their debut games. Tappy's first was the drawn game against the Swans, an unreal experience. A Queenslander, Bail made his AFL debut in Round 19 of the 2009 AFL season at Etihad but injured a quadriceps muscle in the warm up. He had one kick and was off after the first minute so his second game early in the following season was really another debut. The players were asked when they were due to return from injury but I am reminded that we are sworn to secrecy on pain of death about revealing top secret information. If you want to know when Bail and Tapscott are due back then check out the club's injury list on Tuesday or, better still, wait till you see them in action on the ground and you'll know for sure. 7.18 We return to the main change room waiting for the team to do their final thing before running out onto the hallowed turf. 7.21 Now they come in again and there's much more noise. I have a feeling that the lads are "on" tonight. There's a feeling of purpose about the group and Brad Green, Brent Moloney and Jared Rivers are in there geeing them up. They are among the few playing tonight who are in the zone that you can call "mature footballers". How different things are at other clubs like Geelong and Collingwood! 7.27 We make our way back to the Southern Stand where our seats are waiting above the ozone layer. As we leave the rooms, we notice the forlorn sight of Jack Grimes in moonboots. "All the best mate." He smiles. The next part of the evening remains a blur but it turned out to be an enjoyable one. Maxy did well. He had a share of the hit outs, got some of the football and began the process of acclimatising to the sport in the best possible way by doing his job as backup ruckman in a winning team. 10.18 They're in the rooms singing "It's a Grand Old Flag" with gusto. The place is wall to wall with people. I'll double up on my winning bet from tonight's game by wagering that there was nowhere near this number here at this same time last week. 10.23 In among the throng, I bump into Neville Jetta Snr. I say he must be proud of his young bloke today. He remembers me from the Demonland/Demonology game in February and says he still feels the soreness of the experience. 10.45 Maxy Gawn's white club away jumper has been drenched with red Powerade. It actually now looks like a half decent away strip. But it's time to go and I never get the chance to congratulate him although I do pass on my best to the folks. 10.55 On the concourse on the way out of the G, I recall the days of old when Smithy used to reign over his champion team in cramped dingy rooms a world away from the facilities at the disposal of today's AFL coaches. In those days, legend has it that they used to turn off the hot water to the showers in the visiting teams' rooms. Maybe next week, we can manufacture a sewer leak in the Collingwood rooms like last year?

6.5.4.3.2.1 as usual please!

ALL I KNOW by the Oracle "I bruise you, you bruise me We both bruise too easily ..." [Art Garfunkel - All I Know] We all bruise easily at certain moments in our lives. The dreadful and insulting controversy of last week about the way that a heavily undermanned Melbourne allegedly played "bruise fee" football started by some of Carlton's lesser lights and fueled by a sensationist media was more about perception than reality and had very little to do with the way Melbourne responded to the week's off field events. Certainly, Melbourne did respond to its poor showing against Carlton by handing out a psychological bruising to the Bombers but it was more about the way in which the club approached the game, first in the selection and then in how it adopted and carried out its tactics and strategies than anything else. This game was about taking risks more than about the individual's fear of physical bruising. Melbourne put the difficulties of the past weeks behind it with some boldness at the selection table. Players were omitted from the previous week because their form did not warrant selection. The start was the non selection of Lynden Dunn on return from suspension a fortnight earlier in the game against North Melbourne when he played poorly. It would have been easy to slip him back into the team but the selectors deemed there was a price to pay if players lack the necessary application. The selectors also opted to send Matthew Bate, Addam Maric, Ricky Petterd and Matthew Warnock back to Casey as well. With Aaron Davey out through injury and an ailing and homesick Austin Wonaeamirri back home on compassionate leave in the Tiwi Islands, the football department went for youth to lift the team by the bootstraps - two debutants and three others who first played in Round 1, 2010 came in making it the least experienced of all teams in the competition including the newly formed Gold Coast Suns. With a team composed of so many players with less than 50 games experience and five with no more than two matches, the scene was set for a big win for an Essendon fighting for top four honours at the MCG. And when you consider that the club was forced to remove Colin Sylvia from the game with a corked thigh and replace him with second game substitute Dan Nicholson midway through the second quarter, a Demon victory became even more unlikely. The Demons certainly played a hard brand of football as was attested by them winning the contested possession count by 148 to 133 and by effecting far more tackles (77-51) on the night but it was a case of brain not brawn and skilful efficiency that tipped the scales in their favour. The Demons were more attacking and it showed from the start when they opened up with the first two goals to Brad Green and and Sylvia. Soon after Jack Watts emphasised his growing stature in the game with a strong mark and a goal at the top of the goal square to give his team three of the first four goals of the match setting off alarm bells in the Essendon camp. The Bombers responded taking the lead before the first break and extending it in the opening seconds of the next term but the Demons were persistent. They continually used handball to get themselves out of trouble (sometimes with the reverse effect) but the plugged away. A couple of magnificent Patrick Ryder goals was all that stood between Melbourne and the lead at half time. The third quarter was a classic for the Demons. Slowly but surely the midfield took the ascendency and goals flowed as their use of the ball became more positive and the confidence of the group visibly grew. The dividend was six goals and change to a single point for the quarter. The Bombers had been mentally bruised. There was always going to be a counterattack aided by some poor kicking for goal by Melbourne but this young side was not going to say die. Despite the fact that the Bombers had 15 more inside 50s, the Demons emerged victors by 33 points, a testament to the strength of a defence led brilliantly by Jared Rivers, James Frawley and Joel Macdonald, the goalkicking of Brad Green and Liam Jurrah with four and three goals respectively, a winning ruck led by Stef Martin ably backed up by newcomer Max Gawn and a young/old midfield bolstered by the return of brilliant duo Tom Scully (whose 24 possessions were sublime after so many weeks out) and Jack Trengove (28 touches), the continuing rise of Jordan Gysberts (30 disposals and eight marks) and the hard tackling of Jordie McKenzie (28 possessions and countless tackles) in his third game back after missing the early part of the season. Not to be forgotten was the role of Brent Moloney (28 disposals) who capped the game off with a ripping goal to the thunderous applause of the Demon faithful. Nathan Jones was also tough in the clinches and Neville Jetta and Jamie Bennell contributed to the run of the team. Jeremy Howe was promising on debut with some strong marking adding something around the ground that has been missing in recent weeks. His goal in the third quarter was a gem. The Demons' week from hell restored some balance to the club's season and, while the team played a hard brand of football it handed out no more bruises to the opposition than were expected. The matter of the "bruise free" allegations could play itself out later in the season but, for the moment, it has been laid to rest as yet another furphy on which the football media uses to peddle its wares for one given week of the season before it moves on to the next confected headline. Meanwhile, the Demons are back on track thanks to an injection of youth. The journey continues and, in the short term, there will still be ups and downs. That's all I know. Melbourne 3.0.18 5.4.34 11.6.72 15.11.101 Essendon 3.2.20 6.5.41 6.6.42 10.8. 68 Goals Melbourne Green 4 Jurrah 3 Jetta Moloney 2 Howe Scully Sylvia Watts Essendon Ryder 2 Crameri Hardingham Hille Howlett Melksham Monfries Stanton Zaharakis Best Melbourne Gysberts Macdonald McKenzie Moloney Trengove Rivers Green Essendon Melksham Heppell Lonergan Howlett Stanton Hibberd Injuries Melbourne Sylvia (corked thigh) Essendon Nil Changes Melbourne Nil Essendon Nil Reports Melbourne Nil Essendon Nil Umpires Donlon Rosebury Mollison Crowd 53,077 at the MCG

Rusty, how do we compare with Gold Coast this week?

Tom McDonald anyone? Emergency for Melbourne this week.

BRUISE FREE by Whispering Jack In reviewing the match for tomorrow night between Melbourne and Essendon, I promised myself not to mention the fact that the club’s spate of injuries and suspensions which left it without half of its best twenty-two last week could possibly have been to blame for their recent poor performances. I also swore not to raise the fact that the team that was pitted against Carlton last week seemed to play without purpose and lacked intensity, direction and toughness and went down by 47 points in a game where there was a singular lack of flair shown by either side with the exception of Carlton’s captain Chris Judd who was head and shoulders above most of the others who took to the field (OK, perhaps I should have included Marc Murphy in there with him). Then again, Judd seems to have the umpires living in such awe of his presence that even when he is tackled and fairly dispossessed, the rules are interpreted differently than they are for mere mortals. “He tried to handball it; that’s all he has to do.” Please umpire - tell that to the other 780 odd players in the competition who usually get pinged for incorrect disposal in the same circumstances. Of course, the fact that Judd gets paid more per quarter of football than most others on the ground collect for a full game might have something to do with his stature and presence although I’m sure that he cops more bruises during a game than he hands out. However, I still left the MCG feeling more than somewhat disillusioned about the Demons’ prospects for the remainder of the season and, in particular, for the forthcoming games against clubs like Essendon this week and … heaven’s above … Collingwood the week after. I needed some inspiration, some positive thought in order to be able to preview Melbourne’s forthcoming game against the Bombers and it was for this reason that I found myself on the steps of an inconspicuous looking little nursing home in the inner northern suburbs that houses my friend and colleague, Clyde who used to drive taxi cabs for a living and has, in all the time I have known him, been regarded as the font of all knowledge about things football. He's the kind of person who always has a rare insight into every subject under the sun. I entered the premises and immediately noticed that three of the residents were sleeping on couches that lined one side of the reception area. It was two o’clock in the afternoon. I noticed a rooms that were dark with dank air and a feline smell pervaded over the place as I waited patiently seeking to attract the attention of the woman behind the reception desk. She turned out to be of no help because she too, had fallen asleep, so I wandered into the lounge area and, after tripping over a cat whose shrieks brought the facility to life, I finally discovered Clyde in a corner reading the form guide. Clyde knew instinctively that I was carrying a painful burden. He doesn’t attend many games these days on account of the arthritis that plagues him and which he blames on having to grip steering wheels for so many years during which he couldn’t remember a day passing by without him being in the driver’s seat for hours on end. “So they lost again. I tried to watch the game but I fell asleep, “he groaned. “But you saw how they held the tide back in the first half and were only 16 points down at the main break?", I queried. “No, I fell asleep during Better Homes and Gardens. Roses and daffodils do that to me.” I could see I was getting nowhere but then he asked about the hoo ha involving some Carlton footballers whose faces had been all over the previous night’s television news broadcasts. I started to explain the controversy of “bruise-free” football but the expression on his face suggested he had no idea what I was talking about. “Gawn,” Clyde exclaimed. “Clyde, Gawn hasn’t played a senior game yet.” “No, I’m talking about Bruce. We know he’s gawn. Gawn to Hawthorn and that’s why we’re playing Bruce-free football these days.” "How ...", I tried to start a sentence but his thin crab-like hand grasped mine and he now spoke eagerly. "Howe. Of course he will play this week." Friends. What more can I say about a conversation with a friend that, when I thought it over afterwards, probably best sums up how the 2011 is going for the Melbourne Football Club? I stood to leave but he sat up erect screaming at the top of his lungs. "The Blitz. It's the Blitz!" THE GAME Essendon v Melbourne at the MCG Friday, 3 June 2011 at 7.40pm. HEAD TO HEAD Overall Essendon 126 wins Melbourne 78 wins 2 draws At the MCG Essendon 63 wins Melbourne 42 wins 1 draw Since 2000: Essendon 10 wins Melbourne 5 wins The Coaches Hird 0 wins Bailey 0 wins MEDIA TV Channel 7 Delayed at 8.30pm RADIO - 3AW Triple M SEN K-Rock ABC774 THE BETTING Essendon $1.22 to win Melbourne $4.30 to win THE LAST TIME THEY MET Melbourne 19.8.122 defeated Essendon 14.19.93 at the MCG Round 15, 2010 The Bombers were never going to win and the Demons were almost 10 goals ahead early in the final quarter before they put the foot on the pedal and almost came to a screaming halt. Mark Jamar dominated in the ruck and Colin Sylvia dominated around the ground but it was Brad Green with five goals who really stamped his name on this game. THE TEAMS ESSENDON Backs Kyle Hardingham Cale Hooker Dustin Fletcher Half backs Henry Slattery David Myers Nathan Lovett-Murray Centreline Leroy Jetta Brent Stanton Travis Colyer Half forwards Jake Melksham Patrick Ryder David Zaharakis Forwards Angus Monfries David Hill Stewart Crameri Followers Tom Bellchambers Ben Howlett Mark McVeigh Interchange Alex Brown Dyson Heppell Michael Hibberd Sam Lonergan Emergencies Alwyn Davey Kyle Reimers Andrew Welsh MELBOURNE Backs James Frawley Jared Rivers Joel Macdonald Half backs Tom Scully Jack Watts James Strauss Centreline Jordan Gysberts Brent Moloney Jack Trengove Half forwards Cale Morton Colin Sylvia Jeremy Howe Forwards Max Gawn Brad Green Jamie Bennell Followers Stef Martin Nathan Jones Jordie McKenzie Interchange Liam Jurrah Neville Jetta Michael Evans Daniel Nicholson Emergencies Matthew Bate Sam Blease Tom McDonald In Max Gawn Jeremy Howe Tom Scully James Strauss Jack Trengove Out Matthew Bate Addam Maric Michael Newton (foot) Ricky Petterd Matthew Warnock New Max Gawn (Sandringham Dragons) Jeremy Howe (Hobart) THE BLITZ by Whispering Jack and Clyde the (ex) Clifton Hill Cabbie One of the nurses rushed into the lounge room carrying a pot of tea which she thrust onto a tray in front of Clyde. He accepted it gracefully and, when she turned her back to leave, he pulled a silver hip flask from his back pocket and poured more than a few drops of golden brown liquid into his cup. He drank and it revived him. The colour returned to his cheeks and he was suddenly alert. “You’re writing the preview for Friday night’s Melbourne v Essendon game, aren't you?" I nodded. "Well, I'll let you in on a secret. Things are not as bad as they seem. We’ll get back Scully and Trengove this week and that 208cm giant Gawn will come in for his debut. He'll prove a handful for the Bombers and he won’t be alone in making his debut. There’s this kid from Tassie named Howe from Dodges Ferry near Hobart who can take a big grab. Both of the newbies have been showing good form at Casey and young Strauss goes well too. "You know, I always used to say there's no substitute for youth. These kids are keen, eager and talented. They have that lean and hungry look about them. "Take the $4.30 on offer from the betting agencies. In fact, lend me a gorilla and put on a bet for me!” At that stage, I had to ask him what he had just put into his tea and he simply smiled. Finally, I asked him what he meant when he was ranting on about "The Blitz" and he responded: “I used to love doing match reviews but I always tried to maintain some balance so, if I was reviewing a game against the Bombers, I would seek their viewpoint. "I suggest that you go searching in the direction of Bomber Blitz, their supporter website and you will find your answers.” I left Clyde there, drinking his tea and giggling away. The cat had fallen asleep and purring contentedly. I still had trouble writing the preview but then remembered Clyde's advice. I crossed enemy lines and entered Bomber Blitz. To tell the truth, I haven't visited the place for twelve months and all I can say is what a difference a year and a few million dollars of coaching expertise makes to a club! For a start, the arrogance meter has risen to a level that was high even when their team was slithering near the bottom of the ladder and every supporter was ready to string Matthew Knights up by the [snip]. They reckon they’re the best thing since sliced bread and that Melbourne will be a breeze. In honour of Clyde, here are some of the thoughts being expressed by the Essendon faithful on their supporter website: From Disco Stu I like the originality of his humour, particularly the knee-slapping gag about membership cards doubling as lift passes at Bulla. I hope the MFC board takes this one on board because it could be a real winner. Then there's Spirit of Ailsa: An intellectual giant if I ever saw one. And so it went on with page after page dripping with meaningless inanity. There was no analysis of the teams, the game plans or the strategies. I was struggling to find anything of significance that I could borrow to write about tomorrow night's game from what I was reading on the Blitz. The entire body of on line Bomber supporters surely could not be so brain dead? There had to be something among all that drivel that could deliver something inspirational about the Demons ... and then I found this gem from Darth Taj: That's it. The Bomber fans are full of fear. Despite the youth of tomorrow's Melbourne team, Essendon comes into the game without its captain Jobe Watson, without Hurley and Hocking and having dropped their eight goal hero from the Suns game in Kyle Reimers. Their injury list is almost as long as Melbourne's, their last start was a disappointing loss to Richmond and they're coming off the dreaded bye which has seen many a side falter already this year. They're frightened that the opposition might come out firing. That they might even give away a few bruises. So I'm tipping the Demons to pull off an upset and win this one. They'll blitz the Bombers and win by 21 points. There. I've done it and it only took three or four swigs from the hip flask I confiscated from Clyde to get me there!