Demonland

by Ice Station Zebra Sandringham’s 2008 campaign came to an end at Trevor Barker Beach Oval on Sunday when it went down by 10 points to second placed North Ballarat in a dour, hard fought game played in bleak conditions, which saw a combination of cold, biting winds, rain and even hail. This dark and sombre scenario provided the perfect backdrop for the end of the Zebras' dismal season that saw them missing out on the September action for the first time since 2001. In truth, Sandy's season effectively ended just after midday on Saturday when eighth placed Frankston proved too strong for Geelong in the Skilled Stadium curtain raiser making it impossible for the Zebras to break into the VFL top eight but coach Andy Lovell pointed out that there was still some incentive for his charges to play well. "We still had a bit to play for, Chris Lamb's last game and the last game of the Sandringham-Melbourne alignment," Lovell told reporters after the game. Sandringham lined up without multiple Jim "Frosty" Miller Medallist (for top VFL goal kicker) Nick Sautner after he accepted a one match suspension arising from a report in the first quarter of last week's match at Frankston. Fortunately, his nearest rival for goal kicking honours, Werribee captain James Podsiadly, had fallen one goal short of his 74 for the season a day earlier giving Sautner his eighth "Frosty". However, without their spearhead, the Zebras were always going to find it difficult to score and they managed only a meagre seven goals for the day. As has often been the pattern this year, they allowed the visitors to get the jump on them early. There were plenty of stoppages and throw ins as a result of scrappy conditions and North Ballarat were able to adapt much better to the conditions to hold the early ascendency. David Gallagher managed to kick his team's first goal and he could easily have kicked another while Ezra Poyas missed one that he normally would have swallowed. Sandy lifted late in the term with skipper Peter Summers, Shane Valenti and Chad Liddell in everything but scoring was a difficult task and the Roosters held a commanding 20-point lead at the first break given the difficult conditions. The second quarter was a real arm wrestle with North Ballarat adding a couple of handy goals on the scoreboard while a couple of easy misses didn't help the Sandringham cause. Chad Liddell continued to win plenty of the ball while Matthew Bate started to get into the match in an effort to lift the team. Youngster Shane Tregear was lively up forward while second year player Rennie Gilchrist was playing his best senior game for the club. By half time, Sandringham had barely managed to peg back North Ballarat's lead and its prospects for the rest of the game were not looking good. The visitors had the scoring end in the third quarter but the difficult conditions worsened and it became even harder to score goals. Gallagher continued to work hard, Summers was still in and under at every opportunity and Lynden Dunn and Valenti increased their work rates. The deficit at the final break was now 25 points but the Zebras were determined to have a dip as their season was slowly slipping away. The final quarter in which the team scored 2 goals 7 was the story of Sandringham's disappointing year. The club has lost eight games by less than three goals and often, these defeats have been self-inflicted coming as a result of poor kicking for goal. It's been a case of close on many occasions without being able to snatch victory. When Dunn had the opportunity late in the game to narrow the margin to four points with a shot at goal from 35 metres out, he was off target and this typified the season for the hapless Zebras whose percentage of 118.46 at year's end was much better than that of fourth placed Werribee. Former captain Chad Liddell was great all day for his team as was David Gallagher who has played well since coming back from a serious knee injury. Bate put in a classy display in both midfield and in defence to finish with 27 touches and Tregear, Brett Liddell and Gilchrist gave fans a taste of what the club's young talent can produce in the future. And so (almost) ended the Zebras' successful and memorable era of affiliation with the Demons after nine years and four premierships and a great number of fond memories. Almost, because the Zebra reserves had a fantastic win over Frankston in the elimination final and will now play Box Hill at Port Melbourne on Sunday starting at 10.20am. Sandringham 2.2.14 4.5.29 5.6.36 7.13.55 North Ballarat 5.4.34 7.6.48 8.13.61 8.17.65 Goals Sandringham Newton Tregear 2 Bate Gallagher Gilchrist North Ballarat Grima Smith 2 Chester Greig Roach Wundke Best Sandringham C Liddell Gallagher Tregear Bate Gilchrist B Liddell North Ballarat Swallow Sharkey Moloney Searl Greig Chester Reserves: Sandringham 3.2.20 4.3.27 9.6.60 15.9.99 Frankston 3.4.22 6.5.41 7.8.50 11.10.76 Goals Sandringham Gileno 5 Eaton 3 Cleeve Gilder Hardiman Lyall Monaghan Summons Weetra Frankston Barker 3 Lloyd Murray 2 McCall Potts White Willis Best Sandringham Gilder Gileno Johnson M Johnston Williams Summons Frankston Willis Dunne Stone Gill Lloyd Drake Report Frankston Karl Lombardozzi for using abusive language towards an umpire Chris Oliver for tripping Jake Williams by foot.

END OF AN ERA by Ice Station Zebra Sandringham’s 2008 campaign came to an end at Trevor Barker Beach Oval on Sunday when it went down by 10 points to second placed North Ballarat in a dour, hard fought game played in bleak conditions, which saw a combination of cold, biting winds, rain and even hail. This dark and sombre scenario provided the perfect backdrop for the end of the Zebras' dismal season that saw them missing out on the September action for the first time since 2001. In truth, Sandy's season effectively ended just after midday on Saturday when eighth placed Frankston proved too strong for Geelong in the Skilled Stadium curtain raiser making it impossible for the Zebras to break into the VFL top eight but coach Andy Lovell pointed out that there was still some incentive for his charges to play well. "We still had a bit to play for, Chris Lamb's last game and the last game of the Sandringham-Melbourne alignment," Lovell told reporters after the game. Sandringham lined up without multiple Jim "Frosty" Miller Medallist (for top VFL goal kicker) Nick Sautner after he accepted a one match suspension arising from a report in the first quarter of last week's match at Frankston. Fortunately, his nearest rival for goal kicking honours, Werribee captain James Podsiadly, had fallen one goal short of his 74 for the season a day earlier giving Sautner his eighth "Frosty". However, without their spearhead, the Zebras were always going to find it difficult to score and they managed only a meagre seven goals for the day. As has often been the pattern this year, they allowed the visitors to get the jump on them early. There were plenty of stoppages and throw ins as a result of scrappy conditions and North Ballarat were able to adapt much better to the conditions to hold the early ascendency. David Gallagher managed to kick his team's first goal and he could easily have kicked another while Ezra Poyas missed one that he normally would have swallowed. Sandy lifted late in the term with skipper Peter Summers, Shane Valenti and Chad Liddell in everything but scoring was a difficult task and the Roosters held a commanding 20-point lead at the first break given the difficult conditions. The second quarter was a real arm wrestle with North Ballarat adding a couple of handy goals on the scoreboard while a couple of easy misses didn't help the Sandringham cause. Chad Liddell continued to win plenty of the ball while Matthew Bate started to get into the match in an effort to lift the team. Youngster Shane Tregear was lively up forward while second year player Rennie Gilchrist was playing his best senior game for the club. By half time, Sandringham had barely managed to peg back North Ballarat's lead and its prospects for the rest of the game were not looking good. The visitors had the scoring end in the third quarter but the difficult conditions worsened and it became even harder to score goals. Gallagher continued to work hard, Summers was still in and under at every opportunity and Lynden Dunn and Valenti increased their work rates. The deficit at the final break was now 25 points but the Zebras were determined to have a dip as their season was slowly slipping away. The final quarter in which the team scored 2 goals 7 was the story of Sandringham's disappointing year. The club has lost eight games by less than three goals and often, these defeats have been self-inflicted coming as a result of poor kicking for goal. It's been a case of close on many occasions without being able to snatch victory. When Dunn had the opportunity late in the game to narrow the margin to four points with a shot at goal from 35 metres out, he was off target and this typified the season for the hapless Zebras whose percentage of 118.46 at year's end was much better than that of fourth placed Werribee. Former captain Chad Liddell was great all day for his team as was David Gallagher who has played well since coming back from a serious knee injury. Bate put in a classy display in both midfield and in defence to finish with 27 touches and Tregear, Brett Liddell and Gilchrist gave fans a taste of what the club's young talent can produce in the future. And so (almost) ended the Zebras' successful and memorable era of affiliation with the Demons after nine years and four premierships and a great number of fond memories. Almost, because the Zebra reserves had a fantastic win over Frankston in the elimination final and will now play Box Hill at Port Melbourne on Sunday starting at 10.20am. Sandringham 2.2.14 4.5.29 5.6.36 7.13.55 North Ballarat 5.4.34 7.6.48 8.13.61 8.17.65 Goals Sandringham Newton Tregear 2 Bate Gallagher Gilchrist North Ballarat Grima Smith 2 Chester Greig Roach Wundke Best Sandringham C Liddell Gallagher Tregear Bate Gilchrist B Liddell North Ballarat Swallow Sharkey Moloney Searl Greig Chester Reserves: Sandringham 3.2.20 4.3.27 9.6.60 15.9.99 Frankston 3.4.22 6.5.41 7.8.50 11.10.76 Goals Sandringham Gileno 5 Eaton 3 Cleeve Gilder Hardiman Lyall Monaghan Summons Weetra Frankston Barker 3 Lloyd Murray 2 McCall Potts White Willis Best Sandringham Gilder Gileno Johnson M Johnston Williams Summons Frankston Willis Dunne Stone Gill Lloyd Drake Report Frankston Karl Lombardozzi for using abusive language towards an umpire Chris Oliver for tripping Jake Williams by foot.

PLEASURE AND PAIN by the Oracle - Divinyls "Pleasure and Pain" Just before the start of yesterday's season finale between Melbourne and Richmond the sound system on the MCG scoreboard was belting out the classic Divinyls hit, "Pleasure and Pain". The song aptly summed up the sensations felt by the Demon faithful on the day. Those who came expecting a resounding victory to cap off their team's annus horribilis with a face saver were about to feel extreme pain. However, there was another group of fans who gained some pleasure from it's failure to win by a margin of about 15-20 points which would have been sufficient to guide it away from wooden spoon status thereby handing the first pick in the draft to the Eagles who had shown a day earlier that they really wanted this prize very much. These perverse variations of pleasure and pain are hard to explain but, as Chrissie Amphlett went to great lengths to let us know, in the end, it was all the same. Melbourne finished the season in the same abysmal way that it started, inviting adjectives such as "insipid", "embarrassing"" and "hopeless". And that was about it. Melbourne sent a team out into battle that basically consisted of those team leaders who were not in hospital or doing rehab in anticipation of next year, a few retiring veterans bidding their fond farewells to the assembled masses and a gaggle of fresh faced youths going through difficult apprenticeships in their chosen profession. As you would expect from such a diverse combination, they flopped badly against a team that was on song, fully committed and had strong leadership. Despite the frantic efforts of the statisticians who compiled their tables as to what was necessary for Melbourne to rise like Phoenix out of the ashes of the wooden spoon, the result was a foregone conclusion - a Richmond win by plenty. This was despite the fact that the Demons appeared to be competitive in the first quarter when they trailed by less than a goal at the first break. The fact was however, that even then, they were being smashed in the clearances and appeared to have no answer tactically to the Tigers' game. The best they could do was produce a few individual efforts in a sea of ineptitude - and things got worse as the game wore on. Full marks go to Colin Sylvia who played at the standard one expects from … well, an AFL footballer even though he was hampered by an ankle injury incurred in the early stages. Matthew Warnock continued his season as the club's most improved by troubling Matthew Richardson into an ordinary performance. Colin Garland and Matthew Whelan worked hard in defence, Simon Buckley, Cameron Bruce and Brad Green were good in patches and Adem Yze, playing under the pain of injury showed flashes of the champion of the past. A forward line - non existent? In the end, it was a sad end to the careers of a couple of out and out champions in Yze and Jeff White (who at least managed a couple of goals) and a real workhorse in Ben Holland. That these players finished off their careers with a lot of pain and little pleasure to show for the day and for their final season simply emphasises the dimensions of that fine line that separates the two sensations. Melbourne 2.1.13 3.1.19 4.4.28 6.5.41 Richmond 2.5.17 8.9.57 12.10.82 18.13 .121 Goals Melbourne White 2 Green Holland Sylvia Whelan Richmond Deledio 4 Bowden 3 Jackson Riewoldt 2 Connors Foley McMahon Morton Tivendale Tuck White Best Melbourne Sylvia Buckley Warnock Yze Green Garland Richmond Bowden Deledio Tuck Tivendale Newman Foley McGuane White Johnson Injuries Melbourne Sylvia (ankle) Petterd (hamstring) Richmond Nil Changes Richmond Pattison (back) replaced in selected side by Connors Reports Morton (Richmond) and Miller (Melbourne) reported for wrestling each other in the second term. Umpires Margetts H Ryan Ellis Crowd 37,046 at the MCG

by the Oracle - Divinyls "Pleasure and Pain" Just before the start of yesterday's season finale between Melbourne and Richmond the sound system on the MCG scoreboard was belting out the classic Divinyls hit, "Pleasure and Pain". The song aptly summed up the sensations felt by the Demon faithful on the day. Those who came expecting a resounding victory to cap off their team's annus horribilis with a face saver were about to feel extreme pain. However, there was another group of fans who gained some pleasure from it's failure to win by a margin of about 15-20 points which would have been sufficient to guide it away from wooden spoon status thereby handing the first pick in the draft to the Eagles who had shown a day earlier that they really wanted this prize very much. These perverse variations of pleasure and pain are hard to explain but, as Chrissie Amphlett went to great lengths to let us know, in the end, it was all the same. Melbourne finished the season in the same abysmal way that it started, inviting adjectives such as "insipid", "embarrassing"" and "hopeless". And that was about it. Melbourne sent a team out into battle that basically consisted of those team leaders who were not in hospital or doing rehab in anticipation of next year, a few retiring veterans bidding their fond farewells to the assembled masses and a gaggle of fresh faced youths going through difficult apprenticeships in their chosen profession. As you would expect from such a diverse combination, they flopped badly against a team that was on song, fully committed and had strong leadership. Despite the frantic efforts of the statisticians who compiled their tables as to what was necessary for Melbourne to rise like Phoenix out of the ashes of the wooden spoon, the result was a foregone conclusion - a Richmond win by plenty. This was despite the fact that the Demons appeared to be competitive in the first quarter when they trailed by less than a goal at the first break. The fact was however, that even then, they were being smashed in the clearances and appeared to have no answer tactically to the Tigers' game. The best they could do was produce a few individual efforts in a sea of ineptitude - and things got worse as the game wore on. Full marks go to Colin Sylvia who played at the standard one expects from … well, an AFL footballer even though he was hampered by an ankle injury incurred in the early stages. Matthew Warnock continued his season as the club's most improved by troubling Matthew Richardson into an ordinary performance. Colin Garland and Matthew Whelan worked hard in defence, Simon Buckley, Cameron Bruce and Brad Green were good in patches and Adem Yze, playing under the pain of injury showed flashes of the champion of the past. A forward line - non existent? In the end, it was a sad end to the careers of a couple of out and out champions in Yze and Jeff White (who at least managed a couple of goals) and a real workhorse in Ben Holland. That these players finished off their careers with a lot of pain and little pleasure to show for the day and for their final season simply emphasises the dimensions of that fine line that separates the two sensations. Melbourne 2.1.13 3.1.19 4.4.28 6.5.41 Richmond 2.5.17 8.9.57 12.10.82 18.13 .121 Goals Melbourne White 2 Green Holland Sylvia Whelan Richmond Deledio 4 Bowden 3 Jackson Riewoldt 2 Connors Foley McMahon Morton Tivendale Tuck White Best Melbourne Sylvia Buckley Warnock Yze Green Garland Richmond Bowden Deledio Tuck Tivendale Newman Foley McGuane White Johnson Injuries Melbourne Sylvia (ankle) Petterd (hamstring) Richmond Nil Changes Richmond Pattison (back) replaced in selected side by Connors Reports Morton (Richmond) and Miller (Melbourne) reported for wrestling each other in the second term. Umpires Margetts H Ryan Ellis Crowd 37,046 at the MCG

Two years in a row. This is hard to take ... Rank (LW) Total Tipster 1 (1) 127 Whispering_Jack 2 (3) 125 Alpha33 2 (1) 125 Pinball_Wizard 4 (4) 124 The Little Devils 5 (5) 122 petejh2000 6 (6) 121 deesthisyear 7 (7) 119 Joe_Gutnick64 7 (7) 119 Super_Slater 9 (9) 118 Edorion 10 (13) 117 Clyde_Cabbie 10 (9) 117 Davey's sugar daddy 10 (9) 117 Kieranbj 10 (12) 117 slamevil 14 (13) 115 belzebub59 14 (16) 115 BigKev Demon 14 (13) 115 Scoop Junior 17 (18) 114 aronbrandon 17 (20) 114 deanox 17 (20) 114 rjhrjh 17 (16) 114 Tim - Go Dees 21 (18) 113 DeMoNiC 21 (20) 113 old man rivers 23 (23) 112 DeeReaming 24 (23) 111 great_gatsby 24 (23) 111 No Cigar2 24 (27) 111 stelioss 24 (23) 111 The Natural 28 (28) 109 dee'luded 29 (29) 108 barpen 30 (31) 107 CarnTheDees 30 (29) 107 Demonland 32 (32) 105 Dappadan 33 (33) 104 DEE32 34 (34) 101 mo64 34 (34) 101 mpinnell 36 (36) 100 -FitZ^ 37 (37) 99 achirnside 37 (37) 99 glamorizeme 39 (39) 98 BrockMclean 39 (39) 98 demonsflag555657 39 (39) 98 KrazyJay78 42 (42) 97 paliosiana 43 (43) 96 thegoldenmonkey

Congratulations to Brad Green - Demonland Player of the Year 2008 90.934 Brad Green 78.366 Brock McLean 65.765 Paul Wheatley 64.074 Cale Morton 61.772 Cameron Bruce 54.305 Brad Miller 50.729 James McDonald 46.165 Colin Garland 45.722 Colin Sylvia 42.742 Chris Johnson 40.082 Austin Wonaemirri 40.027 Paul Johnson 37.927 Matthew Bate 31.490 Aaron Davey 30.457 Simon Buckley 29.347 Nathan Jones 17.896 Lynden Dunn 17.415 Matthew Warnock 13.681 Shane Valenti 12.282 Brent Moloney 12.176 Nathan Carroll 10.684 Jared Rivers 10.314 Stef Martin 8.932 Matthew Whelan 8.393 Clint Bartram 5.426 Jeff White 5.265 Russell Robertson 5.164 Mark Jamar 4.200 Adem Yze 3.221 Addam Maric 1.186 Daniel Bell 0.522 James Frawley

Weighting this week is .3388. I need three genuine entries 6,5,4,3,2,1 ...

Dermott Brereton's view - Watts all the fuss

by JVM I read the other day that with the approach of the finals series, Geelong is fortunate to have almost a full list of players available with Matthew Egan as the only long-term injury. The Kangaroos are also near full strength whilst at Carlton, the Blues have been fielding close to their best team on a weekly basis for most of the season. This week they are fielding an unchanged line up. Despite all this, they will not be taking part in the finals. At the other end of the spectrum we find the Bombers whose injury list grew to twenty during the week with only a few of these a chance to recover in time for Sunday's game against the Saints. Melbourne's list of ailing players might not be as long but in terms of time lost you could mount a strong case that its own injury woes have in fact been more problematic in terms of its fortunes on the field. In fact, you have to go back a long way to discover when it last fielded anything that closely resembled its best side. I think I can narrow that down to the game against the Western Bulldogs at the MCG that took place in Round 17 two years ago - the day the sky fell in. The Demons went into this encounter with a fair amount of confidence. They were riding on the crest of a wave and had won 11 out of 13 (both losses had been away games in Perth) after losing the opening three matches of the 2006 season. The fans weren't let down and they were simply too good for the Doggies that day recording a 51 point victory. However, disaster was lurking just around the corner. Byron Pickett and Aaron Davey who, for the better part of three months, had formed an exciting combination up forward both went down with hamstring injuries during the game, the former for the first time in his career. Out missing with them the following week was Travis Johnstone, also injured. Suddenly the team, which was sitting in third place and headed for the valuable double chance, was vulnerable. Defeats at the hands of lowly Carlton at Telstra Dome and Sydney at the MCG followed and Melbourne finally limped into the finals series in seventh place after receiving a thrashing from an injury-depleted Adelaide in the last round. Late in the season, the Demons lost Clint Bartram, Mark Jamar and Matthew Whelan to injury and a handful of others were under a fitness cloud at this vital time of the season. Exit Melbourne at Subiaco after a semi final loss to Freo. Of course that was only a portent of what was to come and the club's injury woes of 2007 and 2008 have been well documented. When the team runs out onto the MCG for its final engagement of this horror season against the Tigers, the following players will not be taking their places due to injury:- Aaron Davey (heel), Chris Johnson (groin), Paul Johnson (hip), Brock McLean (ankle), John Meesen (ankle), Brent Moloney (shoulder), David Neitz (neck- retired), Jared Rivers (groin), Russell Robertson (Achilles) Jake Spencer (glandular fever) and Austin Wonaeamirri (hamstring). Not all of that list are world-beaters of course, but a number are valuable members of the team and have been missing for a large slab of the season and there's also another list of players who missed games earlier in the year. The cumulative effect of the unavailability of key players has certainly had a significant effect on Melbourne's performance. Combined with the youth policy adopted by Dean Bailey, it's little wonder that the club is occupying its lowly space at the present time. There is an upside to all this in that the club has had the opportunity to introduce fresh new faces and to give greater responsibility to its new breed of players going into the future. On Sunday, yet another newcomer in Jack Grimes will wear the red and blue guernsey in battle for the first time. History tells us that injury problems at AFL clubs occur in cycles. In addition, medical science is advancing, the club is looking at ways in which to lessen the impact of injury in the future and it's likely that there will be changes in fitness and conditioning staff for the coming season as the Demons move to their new summer training base at Casey Fields. The Dees are due for a decent break on the injury front. All these things point to the fact that the long journey from the time when the skies descended more than two years ago is coming to an end and a new era for the club is about to begin. It won't happen this week but, with the end of the season, we Demon fanatics have a lot more to look forward to than most of the football world thinks. THE GAME Melbourne v Richmond at MCG - Sunday 31 August 2008 at 2.10pm HEAD TO HEAD Overall Melbourne 75 wins Richmond 97 wins 2 draws At the MCG Melbourne 56 wins Richmond 63 wins 1 draw Since 2000 Melbourne 5 wins Richmond 8 wins The Coaches Bailey 0 wins Wallace 1 win MEDIA Channel 7 - delayed telecast from 3pm. K-Rock ABC774 SEN Triple M 3AW THE BETTING: Richmond to win $1.18 Melbourne to win $4.25 LAST TIME THEY MET: Richmond 16.20.116 d Melbourne 14.10.94 in Round 12, 2008 at Telstra Dome Melbourne opened up brightly and led early in the second quarter when a 20 minute Richmond avalanche of goals, mainly initiated by the move forward of Matthew Richardson gave control of the game to the Tigers. The Demons fought hard to get back into the game but in the end it was Richo's dominance that was he difference between the teams. Cameron Bruce and Paul Wheatley were the best for the losing side. THE TEAMS MELBOURNE Backs Matthew Whelan Nathan Carroll Daniel Bell Half backs James Frawley Matthew Warnock Colin Garland Centreline Cameron Bruce James McDonald Brad Green Half forwards Ricky Petterd Brad Miller Simon Buckley Forwards Addam Maric Colin Sylvia Adem Yze Followers Jeff White Clint Bartram Nathan Jones Interchange Jack Grimes Ben Holland Cale Morton Paul Wheatley Emergencies Stefan Martin Michael Newton Shane Valenti In Nathan Carroll Jack Grimes James Frawley Ben Holland Addam Maric Ricky Petterd Out Matthew Bate Lynden Dunn Mark Jamar Stefan Martin Michael Newton (all omitted) Austin Wonaeamirri (hamstring) New Jack Grimes (Northern Knights) RICHMOND Backs Chris Newman Will Thursfield Kelvin Moore Half backs Jay Schulz Luke McGuane Jordan McMahon Centreline Matthew Richardson Shane Tuck Brett Deledio Half forwards Matt White Joel Bowden Richard Tambling Forwards Shane Edwards Jack Riewoldt Trent Cotchin Followers Troy Simmonds Kane Johnson Nathan Foley Interchange Daniel Jackson Mitch Morton Adam Pattison Greg Tivendale Emergencies Daniel Connors Dean Polo Alex Rance In Adam Pattison Greg Tivendale Out Tristan Cartledge Daniel Connors (both omitted) THE NATURE OF MEANINGLESSNESS If ever a game qualified as a metaphor for the nature of meaninglessness then this is it. The Tiger faithful watched on in helpless horror last week as St. Kilda came back from an early three goal deficit to roll Adelaide and thereby slam the doors of the final eight firmly shut in their faces. Now, Richmond is placed ninth on the AFL ladder and has nowhere to go. There's little likelihood that the teams immediately below them are going to pull of any shock wins so come what may, the Tiges are destined to end another year as the AFL bridesmaid. They constantly seem to be ricocheting like a pinball from last to ninth and rarely take part in any AFL glory. From Melbourne's point of view, the best that can be achieved is the avoidance of the wooden spoon it if wins by enough and the Eagles suffer the shellacking that Bomber Thompson has promised them down at Skilled Stadium. However, the likely scenario is that the Dees will simply take the Tigers' mantle as reigning wooden spooner but at least they will have the prized first pick in the AFL Draft to go with this year's spoon – something Richmond was deprived of last year by dint of some clever manoeuvring by the Blue Boys. Richmond will start the game as firm favourite based on current form – they've beaten Hawthorn and Fremantle in consecutive weeks and on the fact that their team is far more settled. This week there is only one change to the line-up and the Tigers have their superstar Matthew Richardson in red-hot form. On the other hand, the Demons have shuffled the deck again this week and have made sure that Jeff White, Adem Yze and Ben Holland will have big send offs. Holland, who earlier this year, threatened Richmond with a legal suit to recover monies owing from the time when he played with the Tigers, could throw a major spanner in the works for his old side. Rumour has it that he will be serving the writ during the President's Lunch in a move that could well create AFL history. He might even be called upon to play in an unfamiliar wing position to stop Richo later in the day. If that doesn't work, I think the Dees might use Colin Garland as a match up on the Richmond champion. In view of what transpired when the teams last met in mid season, it's likely that if he can be held then an upset victory to Melbourne is on the cards. There's also a strong possibility that Melbourne will have its first three draft picks from last year all playing together for the first time in a prelude of things to come over the next decade – teenagers Cale Morton (4), Jack Grimes (14) and Addam Maric (21) were much sought after draftees at the end of last year. Their presence in this game will provide a lot of excitement for fans coming to catch a last sight of their team until the NAB Cup nonsense starts next February. There will also be a great deal of interest in the performances of two Melbourne greats in Whitey and Ooze. Both of them have been fantastic players over the years for the club and both want to continue their careers elsewhere. This game means a lot to them and I'm sure that all Demon fans wish them well as they sign off their long careers at the club. Sadly, I doubt that their farewell will be on a winning note but it should, at least, be a close one. Richmond by 13 points in another meaningless game in what for Melbourne has been a meaningless season. Goodbye 2008.

THE DAY THE SKY FELL by JVM I read the other day that with the approach of the finals series, Geelong is fortunate to have almost a full list of players available with Matthew Egan as the only long-term injury. The Kangaroos are also near full strength whilst at Carlton, the Blues have been fielding close to their best team on a weekly basis for most of the season. This week they are fielding an unchanged line up. Despite all this, they will not be taking part in the finals. At the other end of the spectrum we find the Bombers whose injury list grew to twenty during the week with only a few of these a chance to recover in time for Sunday's game against the Saints. Melbourne's list of ailing players might not be as long but in terms of time lost you could mount a strong case that its own injury woes have in fact been more problematic in terms of its fortunes on the field. In fact, you have to go back a long way to discover when it last fielded anything that closely resembled its best side. I think I can narrow that down to the game against the Western Bulldogs at the MCG that took place in Round 17 two years ago - the day the sky fell in. The Demons went into this encounter with a fair amount of confidence. They were riding on the crest of a wave and had won 11 out of 13 (both losses had been away games in Perth) after losing the opening three matches of the 2006 season. The fans weren't let down and they were simply too good for the Doggies that day recording a 51 point victory. However, disaster was lurking just around the corner. Byron Pickett and Aaron Davey who, for the better part of three months, had formed an exciting combination up forward both went down with hamstring injuries during the game, the former for the first time in his career. Out missing with them the following week was Travis Johnstone, also injured. Suddenly the team, which was sitting in third place and headed for the valuable double chance, was vulnerable. Defeats at the hands of lowly Carlton at Telstra Dome and Sydney at the MCG followed and Melbourne finally limped into the finals series in seventh place after receiving a thrashing from an injury-depleted Adelaide in the last round. Late in the season, the Demons lost Clint Bartram, Mark Jamar and Matthew Whelan to injury and a handful of others were under a fitness cloud at this vital time of the season. Exit Melbourne at Subiaco after a semi final loss to Freo. Of course that was only a portent of what was to come and the club's injury woes of 2007 and 2008 have been well documented. When the team runs out onto the MCG for its final engagement of this horror season against the Tigers, the following players will not be taking their places due to injury:- Aaron Davey (heel), Chris Johnson (groin), Paul Johnson (hip), Brock McLean (ankle), John Meesen (ankle), Brent Moloney (shoulder), David Neitz (neck- retired), Jared Rivers (groin), Russell Robertson (Achilles) Jake Spencer (glandular fever) and Austin Wonaeamirri (hamstring). Not all of that list are world-beaters of course, but a number are valuable members of the team and have been missing for a large slab of the season and there's also another list of players who missed games earlier in the year. The cumulative effect of the unavailability of key players has certainly had a significant effect on Melbourne's performance. Combined with the youth policy adopted by Dean Bailey, it's little wonder that the club is occupying its lowly space at the present time. There is an upside to all this in that the club has had the opportunity to introduce fresh new faces and to give greater responsibility to its new breed of players going into the future. On Sunday, yet another newcomer in Jack Grimes will wear the red and blue guernsey in battle for the first time. History tells us that injury problems at AFL clubs occur in cycles. In addition, medical science is advancing, the club is looking at ways in which to lessen the impact of injury in the future and it's likely that there will be changes in fitness and conditioning staff for the coming season as the Demons move to their new summer training base at Casey Fields. The Dees are due for a decent break on the injury front. All these things point to the fact that the long journey from the time when the skies descended more than two years ago is coming to an end and a new era for the club is about to begin. It won't happen this week but, with the end of the season, we Demon fanatics have a lot more to look forward to than most of the football world thinks. THE GAME Melbourne v Richmond at MCG - Sunday 31 August 2008 at 2.10pm HEAD TO HEAD Overall Melbourne 75 wins Richmond 97 wins 2 draws At the MCG Melbourne 56 wins Richmond 63 wins 1 draw Since 2000 Melbourne 5 wins Richmond 8 wins The Coaches Bailey 0 wins Wallace 1 win MEDIA Channel 7 - delayed telecast from 3pm. K-Rock ABC774 SEN Triple M 3AW THE BETTING: Richmond to win $1.18 Melbourne to win $4.25 LAST TIME THEY MET: Richmond 16.20.116 d Melbourne 14.10.94 in Round 12, 2008 at Telstra Dome Melbourne opened up brightly and led early in the second quarter when a 20 minute Richmond avalanche of goals, mainly initiated by the move forward of Matthew Richardson gave control of the game to the Tigers. The Demons fought hard to get back into the game but in the end it was Richo's dominance that was he difference between the teams. Cameron Bruce and Paul Wheatley were the best for the losing side. THE TEAMS MELBOURNE Backs Matthew Whelan Nathan Carroll Daniel Bell Half backs James Frawley Matthew Warnock Colin Garland Centreline Cameron Bruce James McDonald Brad Green Half forwards Ricky Petterd Brad Miller Simon Buckley Forwards Addam Maric Colin Sylvia Adem Yze Followers Jeff White Clint Bartram Nathan Jones Interchange Jack Grimes Ben Holland Cale Morton Paul Wheatley Emergencies Stefan Martin Michael Newton Shane Valenti In Nathan Carroll Jack Grimes James Frawley Ben Holland Addam Maric Ricky Petterd Out Matthew Bate Lynden Dunn Mark Jamar Stefan Martin Michael Newton (all omitted) Austin Wonaeamirri (hamstring) New Jack Grimes (Northern Knights) RICHMOND Backs Chris Newman Will Thursfield Kelvin Moore Half backs Jay Schulz Luke McGuane Jordan McMahon Centreline Matthew Richardson Shane Tuck Brett Deledio Half forwards Matt White Joel Bowden Richard Tambling Forwards Shane Edwards Jack Riewoldt Trent Cotchin Followers Troy Simmonds Kane Johnson Nathan Foley Interchange Daniel Jackson Mitch Morton Adam Pattison Greg Tivendale Emergencies Daniel Connors Dean Polo Alex Rance In Adam Pattison Greg Tivendale Out Tristan Cartledge Daniel Connors (both omitted) THE NATURE OF MEANINGLESSNESS If ever a game qualified as a metaphor for the nature of meaninglessness then this is it. The Tiger faithful watched on in helpless horror last week as St. Kilda came back from an early three goal deficit to roll Adelaide and thereby slam the doors of the final eight firmly shut in their faces. Now, Richmond is placed ninth on the AFL ladder and has nowhere to go. There's little likelihood that the teams immediately below them are going to pull of any shock wins so come what may, the Tiges are destined to end another year as the AFL bridesmaid. They constantly seem to be ricocheting like a pinball from last to ninth and rarely take part in any AFL glory. From Melbourne's point of view, the best that can be achieved is the avoidance of the wooden spoon it if wins by enough and the Eagles suffer the shellacking that Bomber Thompson has promised them down at Skilled Stadium. However, the likely scenario is that the Dees will simply take the Tigers' mantle as reigning wooden spooner but at least they will have the prized first pick in the AFL Draft to go with this year's spoon – something Richmond was deprived of last year by dint of some clever manoeuvring by the Blue Boys. Richmond will start the game as firm favourite based on current form – they've beaten Hawthorn and Fremantle in consecutive weeks and on the fact that their team is far more settled. This week there is only one change to the line-up and the Tigers have their superstar Matthew Richardson in red-hot form. On the other hand, the Demons have shuffled the deck again this week and have made sure that Jeff White, Adem Yze and Ben Holland will have big send offs. Holland, who earlier this year, threatened Richmond with a legal suit to recover monies owing from the time when he played with the Tigers, could throw a major spanner in the works for his old side. Rumour has it that he will be serving the writ during the President's Lunch in a move that could well create AFL history. He might even be called upon to play in an unfamiliar wing position to stop Richo later in the day. If that doesn't work, I think the Dees might use Colin Garland as a match up on the Richmond champion. In view of what transpired when the teams last met in mid season, it's likely that if he can be held then an upset victory to Melbourne is on the cards. There's also a strong possibility that Melbourne will have its first three draft picks from last year all playing together for the first time in a prelude of things to come over the next decade – teenagers Cale Morton (4), Jack Grimes (14) and Addam Maric (21) were much sought after draftees at the end of last year. Their presence in this game will provide a lot of excitement for fans coming to catch a last sight of their team until the NAB Cup nonsense starts next February. There will also be a great deal of interest in the performances of two Melbourne greats in Whitey and Ooze. Both of them have been fantastic players over the years for the club and both want to continue their careers elsewhere. This game means a lot to them and I'm sure that all Demon fans wish them well as they sign off their long careers at the club. Sadly, I doubt that their farewell will be on a winning note but it should, at least, be a close one. Richmond by 13 points in another meaningless game in what for Melbourne has been a meaningless season. Goodbye 2008.

LEAVING THE BEST TO LAST? by Barry from Beach Road Sandringham shrugged off the cobwebs of its season from hell and nailed its best performance of the year when it overpowered Frankston in a dazzling second half display sparked by the dominance of a makeshift ruck line up made necessary by injuries to regulars John Meesen (stress fracture in the ankle) and rookie Jake Spencer (glandular fever). Nathan Carroll, who had never played ruck before, was joined by Ben Holland and they were supported by a winning midfield led by Peter Summers, Addam Maric, David Gallagher and Shane Valenti and the forward line brilliance of evergreen spearhead Nick Sautner to record a 58-point win and keep their team's dim hopes alive of playing in this year's finals. The Zebras have had some gripping encounters with the Dolphins at Kars Street, Frankston and often struggled there even when they were the power of the competition. In a fiery opening, Sautner had the first two goals on the board and was reported for charging Frankston's Byron Barry in a development that places at risk his chances of winning an eighth Jim "Frosty" Miller Medal. He was reported for the same offence early in the season but escaped with a severe reprimand after successfully appealing a one-match suspension. Immediately after this incident, a Frankston player was reported for "pushing/throwing player N. Sautner". The game continued to bubble over (several fifty metre penalties were paid) and, when the dust settled at quarter time, the visitors led by 13 points thanks to Frankson's inaccuracy in front of goal and some strong defence by the Sandy backmen. Sautner, whose lead in the "Frosty" had been overtaken and surpassed by a seven goal effort on the previous day by Werribee's James Podsiadly, already had three on the board. The Dolphins fought back and had the better of their opponents in a tight second term when they narrowed the gap down to a single point at the main break and the scene was set for a tough contest in the second half. The local crowd was providing a great atmosphere that included a bugler who burst into a shrilled cacophony every time a Sandy player took a shot for goal but the showmanship failed to put Sautner off his game. His first goal for the second half came from a strong mark not long after Frankston has scored a point to level the scores, The goal also tied him up with Podsiadly on the goal kicking ladder. He soon had two more and Rod Crowe another as Sandy bolted away to a handy lead thanks to the total dominance of the midfield and the brilliance of youngster Jack Grimes who was in everything and produced as polished a quarter as anything seen this year at the Zebras. Summers, Maric, Gallagher and Valenti were in everything and if it wasn't Sautner doing the finishing, it was the steadiness and poise of Ricky Petterd. Carroll and Holland were dominating around the ground, Crowe was steady up forward and Andy Biddlecombe, Chris Lamb, James Frawley and Kyle Cheney were unstoppable. Chad Liddell and younger brother Brett were solid and youngsters Chris Waller and Rennie Gilchrist were proving dangerous. By the final change the game was all over. Sandringham led by 40 points. Sandy wasn't prepared to rest on its laurels and, after an early Frankston goal, the afterburners were put on. Sautner kicked his seventh, the goals were shared around and the bugler began playing the Last Post for the home side five minutes before the final siren mercifully put an end to the game for the Dolphins whose fans can count themselves lucky that there was only one tiny scoreboard working at the ground (unfortunate for those who watched the game from where the old stand would have been had it nor burned down earlier this year). The ninth-placed Zebras are a win behind the Dolphins with the final round to come and are ruing the fact that they have lost all seven games decided by margins of 18 points or less including three by a goal or less. Sandy has a better percentage than Frankston and needs to rely on it losing to Geelong (buoyed by the return of young goal sneak Tom Hawkins) at Skilled Stadium on Saturday morning if it is to have a chance of grabbing eighth spot and a place in the finals. The final game of the season is the home fixture against North Ballarat which was switched to Sunday by which time both Sautner and the Zebras will know where they stand in their quests for both individual and team glory in 2008. Supporters will be hoping that it will be a case of leaving the best for last and the season will remain alive for the boys from Beach Road. HOW THE DEMONS FARED Jace Bode - given a tagging role on one of Frankston's gun forwards and did a good job all day - particularly in the last half when he shut him down completely. Kyle Cheney - played in defence and was in fine form scragging and niggling his opponents as well as showing good run and some fine marking form. Has the occasional brain fade when kicking out of defence but overall, is showing a lot of improvement on his early season performances. Nathan Carroll - probably best on the ground in his role as an undersized ruckman who got his share of hit outs in a courageous display against taller opponents and simply dominated picking up 24 disposals around the ground. James Frawley - another improver, Frawley played a fine defensive role and used his height and pace to advantage moving the ball out of the backline. Although not a stylish kick of the football, his delivery was quite effective. Jack Grimes - solid in the first half and superlative in the second. Ben Holland - played as a back up in the ruck and was a good foil for Carroll. Also kicked a couple of nice goals. Addam Maric - spent a lot of time in the midfield where he was busy (30 touches) and highly efficient with his delivery into the forward line. Ricky Petterd - a real danger man at half forward, Petterd was good in the air, creative around the ground and pinpoint with his 26 disposals including three important goals. Shane Valenti - had some quiet periods and took some knocks in and around the packs early but really lifted when it mattered and turned in a valuable contribution on the day. Sandringham 6.3.39 7.6.48 14.6.90 20.10.130 Frankston 3.8.26 6.11.47 6.14.50 9.18.72 Goals Sandringham Sautner 7 Petterd 3 Crowe Holland 2 Carroll Gallagher Grimes Liddell Poyas Summers Frankston Berry 2 Dickson Gabriel Kennedy Limbach Lourey Marigliani Morris Best Sandringham Carroll Grimes Biddlecombe Gallagher Summers Holland Frankston Raso Collins Magner Kennedy Berry Proctor Reported players Sandringham N Sautner (Sandringham) for charging player B Barry (Frankston) in 1st quarter Frankston B Dunne (Frankston) pushing/throwing player N Sautner (Sandringham) in 1st quarter The Reserves match was something of a dead rubber once Box Hill beat Williamstown on Saturday to parcel up third place. Sandy however, managed to win a close one for once and will go into their return bout with the Dolphins with a fair amount of confidence having just beaten them on their own turf. Marc Johnston, down from the seniors, was the standout player and Andrew McConnell booted three goals. Sandringham 4.2.26 7.4.46 9.7.61 16.8.104 Frankston 3.2.20 6.4.40 8.11.59 14.14.98 Goals Sandringham McConnell 3 Gileno Hardiman M Johnston Summons Tregear 2 Calder Gribbin Torcasio Frankston Clark 4 White 3 Barker Corp 2 Comben Davis Willis Best Sandringham M Johnston Calder Tregear Monaghan Shakaib McConnell Frankston Willis Collie Lombardozzi Corp Davis Drake

by Barry from Beach Road Sandringham shrugged off the cobwebs of its season from hell and nailed its best performance of the year when it overpowered Frankston in a dazzling second half display sparked by the dominance of a makeshift ruck line up made necessary by injuries to regulars John Meesen (stress fracture in the ankle) and rookie Jake Spencer (glandular fever). Nathan Carroll, who had never played ruck before, was joined by Ben Holland and they were supported by a winning midfield led by Peter Summers, Addam Maric, David Gallagher and Shane Valenti and the forward line brilliance of evergreen spearhead Nick Sautner to record a 58-point win and keep their team's dim hopes alive of playing in this year's finals. The Zebras have had some gripping encounters with the Dolphins at Kars Street, Frankston and often struggled there even when they were the power of the competition. In a fiery opening, Sautner had the first two goals on the board and was reported for charging Frankston's Byron Barry in a development that places at risk his chances of winning an eighth Jim "Frosty" Miller Medal. He was reported for the same offence early in the season but escaped with a severe reprimand after successfully appealing a one-match suspension. Immediately after this incident, a Frankston player was reported for "pushing/throwing player N. Sautner". The game continued to bubble over (several fifty metre penalties were paid) and, when the dust settled at quarter time, the visitors led by 13 points thanks to Frankson's inaccuracy in front of goal and some strong defence by the Sandy backmen. Sautner, whose lead in the "Frosty" had been overtaken and surpassed by a seven goal effort on the previous day by Werribee's James Podsiadly, already had three on the board. The Dolphins fought back and had the better of their opponents in a tight second term when they narrowed the gap down to a single point at the main break and the scene was set for a tough contest in the second half. The local crowd was providing a great atmosphere that included a bugler who burst into a shrilled cacophony every time a Sandy player took a shot for goal but the showmanship failed to put Sautner off his game. His first goal for the second half came from a strong mark not long after Frankston has scored a point to level the scores, The goal also tied him up with Podsiadly on the goal kicking ladder. He soon had two more and Rod Crowe another as Sandy bolted away to a handy lead thanks to the total dominance of the midfield and the brilliance of youngster Jack Grimes who was in everything and produced as polished a quarter as anything seen this year at the Zebras. Summers, Maric, Gallagher and Valenti were in everything and if it wasn't Sautner doing the finishing, it was the steadiness and poise of Ricky Petterd. Carroll and Holland were dominating around the ground, Crowe was steady up forward and Andy Biddlecombe, Chris Lamb, James Frawley and Kyle Cheney were unstoppable. Chad Liddell and younger brother Brett were solid and youngsters Chris Waller and Rennie Gilchrist were proving dangerous. By the final change the game was all over. Sandringham led by 40 points. Sandy wasn't prepared to rest on its laurels and, after an early Frankston goal, the afterburners were put on. Sautner kicked his seventh, the goals were shared around and the bugler began playing the Last Post for the home side five minutes before the final siren mercifully put an end to the game for the Dolphins whose fans can count themselves lucky that there was only one tiny scoreboard working at the ground (unfortunate for those who watched the game from where the old stand would have been had it nor burned down earlier this year). The ninth-placed Zebras are a win behind the Dolphins with the final round to come and are ruing the fact that they have lost all seven games decided by margins of 18 points or less including three by a goal or less. Sandy has a better percentage than Frankston and needs to rely on it losing to Geelong (buoyed by the return of young goal sneak Tom Hawkins) at Skilled Stadium on Saturday morning if it is to have a chance of grabbing eighth spot and a place in the finals. The final game of the season is the home fixture against North Ballarat which was switched to Sunday by which time both Sautner and the Zebras will know where they stand in their quests for both individual and team glory in 2008. Supporters will be hoping that it will be a case of leaving the best for last and the season will remain alive for the boys from Beach Road. HOW THE DEMONS FARED Jace Bode - given a tagging role on one of Frankston's gun forwards and did a good job all day - particularly in the last half when he shut him down completely. Kyle Cheney - played in defence and was in fine form scragging and niggling his opponents as well as showing good run and some fine marking form. Has the occasional brain fade when kicking out of defence but overall, is showing a lot of improvement on his early season performances. Nathan Carroll - probably best on the ground in his role as an undersized ruckman who got his share of hit outs in a courageous display against taller opponents and simply dominated picking up 24 disposals around the ground. James Frawley - another improver, Frawley played a fine defensive role and used his height and pace to advantage moving the ball out of the backline. Although not a stylish kick of the football, his delivery was quite effective. Jack Grimes - solid in the first half and superlative in the second. Ben Holland - played as a back up in the ruck and was a good foil for Carroll. Also kicked a couple of nice goals. Addam Maric - spent a lot of time in the midfield where he was busy (30 touches) and highly efficient with his delivery into the forward line. Ricky Petterd - a real danger man at half forward, Petterd was good in the air, creative around the ground and pinpoint with his 26 disposals including three important goals. Shane Valenti - had some quiet periods and took some knocks in and around the packs early but really lifted when it mattered and turned in a valuable contribution on the day. Sandringham 6.3.39 7.6.48 14.6.90 20.10.130 Frankston 3.8.26 6.11.47 6.14.50 9.18.72 Goals Sandringham Sautner 7 Petterd 3 Crowe Holland 2 Carroll Gallagher Grimes Liddell Poyas Summers Frankston Berry 2 Dickson Gabriel Kennedy Limbach Lourey Marigliani Morris Best Sandringham Carroll Grimes Biddlecombe Gallagher Summers Holland Frankston Raso Collins Magner Kennedy Berry Proctor Reported players Sandringham N Sautner (Sandringham) for charging player B Barry (Frankston) in 1st quarter Frankston B Dunne (Frankston) pushing/throwing player N Sautner (Sandringham) in 1st quarter The Reserves match was something of a dead rubber once Box Hill beat Williamstown on Saturday to parcel up third place. Sandy however, managed to win a close one for once and will go into their return bout with the Dolphins with a fair amount of confidence having just beaten them on their own turf. Marc Johnston, down from the seniors, was the standout player and Andrew McConnell booted three goals. Sandringham 4.2.26 7.4.46 9.7.61 16.8.104 Frankston 3.2.20 6.4.40 8.11.59 14.14.98 Goals Sandringham McConnell 3 Gileno Hardiman M Johnston Summons Tregear 2 Calder Gribbin Torcasio Frankston Clark 4 White 3 Barker Corp 2 Comben Davis Willis Best Sandringham M Johnston Calder Tregear Monaghan Shakaib McConnell Frankston Willis Collie Lombardozzi Corp Davis Drake

PARALLEL UNIVERSES by Whispering Jack The world's great thinkers have long speculated about the existence of universes that run parallel to ours and in which things occur somewhat differently to the accepted norms that apply in the one that mankind, as we know it, currently occupies. This concept, which I've discussed previously, is most commonly covered in a form devised not by an eminent philosopher or great man or woman of science, but by one of the writers for DC comics in the USA and is known as the "Bizarro World" (often referred to as "htraE"). The original Bizarros were the opposites of Superman and Lois Lane but today we use the term Bizarro to describe anything that utilises twisted logic or that which is the opposite of something else. And this is the only way I can reasonably come to terms with season that the Melbourne Football Club and its followers have experienced both on and off the field in 2008. The off field stuff has been well documented and, although it's important, I don't propose to concern myself with that here. It's on the field where my concerns presently lie. In that respect, the whole season has been a total "Bizarro" experience culminating in yesterday's excursion across the Bizarro border and into a state known in the universal parallel language as ailartsuA htuoS. IMAA Stadium in the picturesque city of edialedA was the venue for the game. It's dimensions are 177 x 145 m, the playing area is 165 x 133 m and, for this game there were two sets of goals: the official set being the goals which the home side used and which run north to south and the unofficial goals that Melbourne utilised (or so it seemed) and which run east to west to cater for the Demons' style of play which places such great store on sideways movement. When one takes this all into account, the fact that the Demons managed seven goals for the day at the official ends of the ground was an extraordinary feat of human endeavour. Let's face it. Melbourne was absolutely terrible against Port Adelaide and, in spite of the injuries, in spite of the inexperience, in spite of the hostile crowd and in spite of the fact that some veterans were being given farewell runs, the performance put on by the 22 players and their coaches was unacceptable. There are simply no excuses when you lose a game to the second worst performed team in the competition over the previous month by 78 points. None of the things you would expect from a professional modern day team were apparent starting from the necessary work rate and encompassing everything our game entails – skill, strength, pace, the ability to read the play, keep to your feet in the contest, dispose of the football, make correct decisions, discipline and awareness of what to do when the opposition has the ball. Tactics and strategies? Out through the window and into another parallel universe. At the end of the day, coach Dean Bailey was said to be gutted by his team's performance and well he should be because his long honeymoon as coach of an AFL side is fast coming to an end. Soon, he will be armed with the paltry spoils of mediocre performance in our game – the high draft picks including the first selections in the national and pre season drafts. Together, he and his football department will need to make the right choices, jettison the players who are unable to perform at this level in the real world, recruit personnel who can actually play the game and just ... teach them. They need to be more than just competitive (which they are not at present) but also to be successful and win games consistently and often because unless that happens and happens soon, the Melbourne Football Club will only be known in the parallel universes and not in the one in which we live. Melbourne 1.0.6 2.4.16 4.8.32 7.9.51 Port Adelaide 6.6.42 9.10.64 10.17.77 18.21.129 Goals Melbourne Miller 2 Bate Bruce Jamar Newton Wonaeamirri Port Adelaide D Motlop 5 P Burgoyne Lade Pearce J Westhoff M Westhoff 2 Boak Cassisi Rodan Best Melbourne Sylvia Buckley Wheatley Green McDonald Morton Port Adelaide P Burgoyne Cassisi D Motlop K Cornes Brogan Logan S Burgoyne Pearce Injuries Melbourne nil Port Adelaide Daniel Motlop (dislocated finger) Changes nil Reports nil Umpires Margetts Head Keating Official Crowd 18,875 at AAMI Stadium

by Whispering Jack The world's great thinkers have long speculated about the existence of universes that run parallel to ours and in which things occur somewhat differently to the accepted norms that apply in the one that mankind, as we know it, currently occupies. This concept, which I've discussed previously, is most commonly covered in a form devised not by an eminent philosopher or great man or woman of science, but by one of the writers for DC comics in the USA and is known as the "Bizarro World" (often referred to as "htraE"). The original Bizarros were the opposites of Superman and Lois Lane but today we use the term Bizarro to describe anything that utilises twisted logic or that which is the opposite of something else. And this is the only way I can reasonably come to terms with season that the Melbourne Football Club and its followers have experienced both on and off the field in 2008. The off field stuff has been well documented and, although it's important, I don't propose to concern myself with that here. It's on the field where my concerns presently lie. In that respect, the whole season has been a total "Bizarro" experience culminating in yesterday's excursion across the Bizarro border and into a state known in the universal parallel language as ailartsuA htuoS. IMAA Stadium in the picturesque city of edialedA was the venue for the game. It's dimensions are 177 x 145 m, the playing area is 165 x 133 m and, for this game there were two sets of goals: the official set being the goals which the home side used and which run north to south and the unofficial goals that Melbourne utilised (or so it seemed) and which run east to west to cater for the Demons' style of play which places such great store on sideways movement. When one takes this all into account, the fact that the Demons managed seven goals for the day at the official ends of the ground was an extraordinary feat of human endeavour. Let's face it. Melbourne was absolutely terrible against Port Adelaide and, in spite of the injuries, in spite of the inexperience, in spite of the hostile crowd and in spite of the fact that some veterans were being given farewell runs, the performance put on by the 22 players and their coaches was unacceptable. There are simply no excuses when you lose a game to the second worst performed team in the competition over the previous month by 78 points. None of the things you would expect from a professional modern day team were apparent starting from the necessary work rate and encompassing everything our game entails – skill, strength, pace, the ability to read the play, keep to your feet in the contest, dispose of the football, make correct decisions, discipline and awareness of what to do when the opposition has the ball. Tactics and strategies? Out through the window and into another parallel universe. At the end of the day, coach Dean Bailey was said to be gutted by his team's performance and well he should be because his long honeymoon as coach of an AFL side is fast coming to an end. Soon, he will be armed with the paltry spoils of mediocre performance in our game – the high draft picks including the first selections in the national and pre season drafts. Together, he and his football department will need to make the right choices, jettison the players who are unable to perform at this level in the real world, recruit personnel who can actually play the game and just ... teach them. They need to be more than just competitive (which they are not at present) but also to be successful and win games consistently and often because unless that happens and happens soon, the Melbourne Football Club will only be known in the parallel universes and not in the one in which we live. Melbourne 1.0.6 2.4.16 4.8.32 7.9.51 Port Adelaide 6.6.42 9.10.64 10.17.77 18.21.129 Goals Melbourne Miller 2 Bate Bruce Jamar Newton Wonaeamirri Port Adelaide D Motlop 5 P Burgoyne Lade Pearce J Westhoff M Westhoff 2 Boak Cassisi Rodan Best Melbourne Sylvia Buckley Wheatley Green McDonald Morton Port Adelaide P Burgoyne Cassisi D Motlop K Cornes Brogan Logan S Burgoyne Pearce Injuries Melbourne nil Port Adelaide Daniel Motlop (dislocated finger) Changes nil Reports nil Umpires Margetts Head Keating Official Crowd 18,875 at AAMI Stadium

For the transcript see - INTERVIEW WITH MAYOR OF CASEY

With one round to go Brad Green has an almost unassailable lead in our Demonland Player of the Year. 88.901 Brad Green 78.366 Brock McLean 65.765 Paul Wheatley 64.074 Cale Morton 61.433 Cameron Bruce 54.305 Brad Miller 50.729 James McDonald 44.471 Colin Garland 42.742 Chris Johnson 40.082 Austin Wonaemirri 40.027 Paul Johnson 39.623 Colin Sylvia 37.927 Matthew Bate 31.490 Aaron Davey 29.347 Nathan Jones 25.713 Simon Buckley 17.896 Lynden Dunn 15.043 Matthew Warnock 13.681 Shane Valenti 12.282 Brent Moloney 10.684 Jared Rivers 10.482 Nathan Carroll 10.314 Stef Martin 8.393 Clint Bartram 8.254 Matthew Whelan 5.265 Russell Robertson 5.164 Mark Jamar 5.087 Jeff White 3.221 Addam Maric 2.845 Adem Yze 1.186 Daniel Bell 0.522 James Frawley Of course with our weighting system anything's possible !

INTERVIEW WITH MAYOR OF CASEY The ABC's Ross Booth interviewed City of Casey Mayor Janet Halsal during the half time break in the televised match of the day at Casey Fields today. Thanks to Alpha33 for providing this transcript: Ross Booth: With the Melbourne Football Club having a temporary base at the Junction Oval, it's been very difficult for them and they've approached you and you're going to accommodate them. What are you going to do? Janet Halsal: Well, we're certainly looking forward to the Melbourne Football Club coming out hopefully by November to establish some training (facilities) here, some pre season training and also a regular spot in Casey each week throughout the season and we're also very much looking forward to the community benefit programmes that we know they're going to deliver for us. Ross Booth: They're going to spend a lot of money here. All up $2.1m and you're contributing $1.2m. Is that right? Janet Halsal: Yes, that's right. We're contributing $1.2m and that money will go to extending the facilities that are already here so that Melbourne Football Club will have gymnasium facilities and office and administration space. Ross Booth: You're doing this because the City of Casey one of the fastest growing communities in Victoria or in fact the fastest growing in Victoria? Janet Halsal: Yes, we're the fastest growing municipality in Victoria. We have 235,000 residents, we have 38,000 school aged kids and a lot of them are very keen on football and we're very keen to have the Melbourne Football Club come out and share their experiences with our young people and look forward to them delivering their community benefit programme through our junior and senior football clubs, through our primary schools and in partnership with our businesses. NOTE: It was also mentioned by the commentary team that an additional $600k will spent on providing terracing on the outer side of the ground. The feedback was generally very positive.

The ABC's Ross Booth interviewed City of Casey Mayor Janet Halsal during the half time break in the televised match of the day at Casey Fields today. Thanks to Alpha33 for providing this transcript: Ross Booth: With the Melbourne Football Club having a temporary base at the Junction Oval, it's been very difficult for them and they've approached you and you're going to accommodate them. What are you going to do? Janet Halsal: Well, we're certainly looking forward to the Melbourne Football Club coming out hopefully by November to establish some training (facilities) here, some pre season training and also a regular spot in Casey each week throughout the season and we're also very much looking forward to the community benefit programmes that we know they're going to deliver for us. Ross Booth: They're going to spend a lot of money here. All up $2.1m and you're contributing $1.2m. Is that right? Janet Halsal: Yes, that's right. We're contributing $1.2m and that money will go to extending the facilities that are already here so that Melbourne Football Club will have gymnasium facilities and office and administration space. Ross Booth: You're doing this because the City of Casey one of the fastest growing communities in Victoria or in fact the fastest growing in Victoria? Janet Halsal: Yes, we're the fastest growing municipality in Victoria. We have 235,000 residents, we have 38,000 school aged kids and a lot of them are very keen on football and we're very keen to have the Melbourne Football Club come out and share their experiences with our young people and look forward to them delivering their community benefit programme through our junior and senior football clubs, through our primary schools and in partnership with our businesses. NOTE: It was also mentioned by the commentary team that an additional $600k will spent on providing terracing on the outer side of the ground. The feedback was generally very positive.

The above votes won't count of course but everyone else is welcome to contribute. Weighting this week is .3953.

A REASON TO BELIEVE by Westender As an expatriate Victorian residing in the City of Churches who supports the Demons, I've been searching long and hard to find a reason to believe that my time has a chance of winning a game in this city against Port Adelaide before the decade runs out. Or even this Saturday for that matter. I haven't found any to date and when I turn to the results of recent matches between the two sides, they paint a bleak picture although the overall figures for this year don't flatter the home team either. The statistician who works for Fox Sports One's "On The Couch" programme produced an interesting form guide in advance of the AFL's penultimate round. It was the ladder containing the placings of the 16 AFL teams over the last six rounds. Geelong and North Melbourne, who meet each other at the weekend, are easily the best-performed teams over the period from Round 15 to Round 20, each of them being undefeated. The Cats have a massive percentage indicating they have doubled the opposition's scores over that time. At the other end of the scale we have Port Adelaide and Melbourne respectively on a 1:5 win/loss ratio. Again, the two teams at the bottom of the form ladder, face off on Saturday (for the first time this year) in a game that will surely rival Melbourne's last outing against the Eagles for sheer meaninglessness in the AFL scheme of things. The saving grace for the game is the fact that it might draw out some Port Adelaide supporters looking for blood because, in spite of their own team's poor form in recent times, the opposition can match it pound for pound in the mediocrity stakes. They smell the blood because the Demons have a pathetic record in Adelaide, having last won a game there in Round 2, 2001 when current board member Andrew Leoncelli pounced on a ball that had been tapped in his path from a boundary line throw in by David Schwarz and goaled 30 seconds from the end to give them a famous victory by three points. You have to go back a year further to Round 8 of 2000 to find a record of a Melbourne win against Port Adelaide at what was then Football Park. There is however, another statistic that adds more emphasis to the club's aversion to this ground and that is the fact that the average losing margin in the eleven games played since that April 2001 encounter against the Crows has been a massive 54 points. If ever there was a hoodoo ground for a football club, AAMI Stadium is the quintessential one for the Demons who have so often been buried of late in this fair city. The Power has had an ugly season after making last year's grand final. They have a number of the star players in mothballs and don't appear to have much incentive to win this game against the competition's lame ducks that also have their fair share of players on the injury list. This game promises to be one of the most forgettable contests in the history of the AFL; the result as predictable as any of game that Melbourne has played on South Australian soil since the Demons last prevailed over one of the locals. THE GAME Port Adelaide v Melbourne at AAMI Stadium Saturday 23 August 2008 at 2.40pm AEST HEAD TO HEAD Overall Port Adelaide 9 wins Melbourne 8 wins At AAMI Stadium Port Adelaide 8 wins Melbourne 2 wins Since 2000 Port Adelaide 7 wins Melbourne 5 wins The Coaches Williams 0 wins Bailey 0 wins MEDIA TV Fox Sports 1 - live at 2.30pm RADIO 774ABC SEN THE BETTING Port Adelaide to win $1.33 Melbourne to win $3.00 LAST TIME THEY MET Port Adelaide 25.13.163 defeated Melbourne 11.8.74 Round 17 2008 at AAMI Stadium The game attracted 23,485 souls, most of them Port Adelaide fans wearing the latest in high fashion moccasins and most of them went away from the game feeling decidedly happy with themselves and looking the part. Chad Cornes and Brad Ebert each kicked six goals as Port romped home by 89 points after threatening to inflict a 100-point shellacking on the hapless Demons. Green McDonald Wheatley tried hard. TEAMS PORT ADELAIDE Backs Toby Thurstans Alipate Carlile Nick Lower Half backs Jacob Surjan Troy Chaplin Peter Burgoyne Centreline Domenic Cassisi Kane Cornes Travis Boak Half forwards Tom Logan Matthew Westhoff Danyle Pearce Forwards Justin Westhoff Daniel Motlop Brett Ebert Followers Dean Brogan Shaun Burgoyne David Rodan Interchange Brendon Lade Marlon Motlop Paul Stewart Damon White Emergencies Greg Bentley Mitch Farmer Nathan Lonie In Dean Brogan Daniel Motlop Marlon Motlop Paul Stewart Out Mitch Farmer (omitted) Robbie Gray (ankle) Michael Pettigrew (shoulder) Ryan Williams (omitted) MELBOURNE Backs Matthew Whelan Stefan Martin Colin Garland Half backs James McDonald Matthew Warnock Paul Wheatley Centreline Simon Buckley Cameron Bruce Matthew Bate Half forwards Brad Green Colin Sylvia Austin Wonaeamirri Forwards Jeff White Brad Miller Michael Newton Followers Mark Jamar Cale Morton Nathan Jones Interchange Clint Bartram Daniel Bell Lynden Dunn Adem Yze Emergencies James Frawley Addam Maric Shane Valenti In Lynden Dunn Colin Garland Jeff White Adem Yze Out James Frawley (omitted) Paul Johnson (hip) Addam Maric (omitted) Shane Valenti (omitted) Umpires TBA WINNING FORM/LOSING FORM Melbourne's youthful side showed a little bit in their last outing when they won a rather incredible game against West Coast at the MCG. The Eagles had four goals on the board by the four minute mark of the second quarter and finished with five for the day against a team that was hammered by 116 points a week earlier. A win is a win is a win but you can't take very much out of such a result because the visitors played as if they had their minds on other things. Therefore, one would be foolish to take the form shown by the Demons as a guide for anything, let alone a game on foreign soil where they have been consistently thumped to the tune of an average of nine goals over a long period of years. But if the Eagles' form against Melbourne could be described as "lacklustre" then the Powers' efforts against Collingwood were equally mediocre. Their first half was on the big Friday night stage against Collingwood was competitive but, after the main break, they managed only another two goals for the night and but for a stunning display from Shaun Burgoyne, you would have been justified in describing the team's performance as "pathetic". Instead, it was just mediocre. It's the likes of the Burgoynes however, that tips the scales in Port's favour from my point of view (although Peter B hasn't been in the best of form of late). The home side still has a few stars like Kane Cornes and the solid Brendon Lade who always dominates in the ruck against Melbourne while the Demons are a team of honest young apprentices learning their trade. The return of Dean Brogan and Daniel Motlop remove any doubts that I was having and tips the scale in the home side's favour. So despite its winning form of last week, Melbourne isn't yet ready to provide me with a reason to believe it can win at AAMI Stadium this week. I'm tipping a Port Adelaide win by 23 points in what, for the Demons, will be a close one. POSTSCRIPT If there's any fairness in fixturing (which I believe there is not) then surely the AFL would have Melbourne host both the Crows and the Power next year and not make the club play any games at AAMI. After all, those teams managed to avoid away fixtures against the Demons in Melbourne. It's probably a waste of time asking because the AFL does what it wants to do and will continue to give clubs like Collingwood an easy ride to the finals with minimal travel while shunting others all over the country on a regular basis. End of rant.

by Westender As an expatriate Victorian residing in the City of Churches who supports the Demons, I've been searching long and hard to find a reason to believe that my time has a chance of winning a game in this city against Port Adelaide before the decade runs out. Or even this Saturday for that matter. I haven't found any to date and when I turn to the results of recent matches between the two sides, they paint a bleak picture although the overall figures for this year don't flatter the home team either. The statistician who works for Fox Sports One's "On The Couch" programme produced an interesting form guide in advance of the AFL's penultimate round. It was the ladder containing the placings of the 16 AFL teams over the last six rounds. Geelong and North Melbourne, who meet each other at the weekend, are easily the best-performed teams over the period from Round 15 to Round 20, each of them being undefeated. The Cats have a massive percentage indicating they have doubled the opposition's scores over that time. At the other end of the scale we have Port Adelaide and Melbourne respectively on a 1:5 win/loss ratio. Again, the two teams at the bottom of the form ladder, face off on Saturday (for the first time this year) in a game that will surely rival Melbourne's last outing against the Eagles for sheer meaninglessness in the AFL scheme of things. The saving grace for the game is the fact that it might draw out some Port Adelaide supporters looking for blood because, in spite of their own team's poor form in recent times, the opposition can match it pound for pound in the mediocrity stakes. They smell the blood because the Demons have a pathetic record in Adelaide, having last won a game there in Round 2, 2001 when current board member Andrew Leoncelli pounced on a ball that had been tapped in his path from a boundary line throw in by David Schwarz and goaled 30 seconds from the end to give them a famous victory by three points. You have to go back a year further to Round 8 of 2000 to find a record of a Melbourne win against Port Adelaide at what was then Football Park. There is however, another statistic that adds more emphasis to the club's aversion to this ground and that is the fact that the average losing margin in the eleven games played since that April 2001 encounter against the Crows has been a massive 54 points. If ever there was a hoodoo ground for a football club, AAMI Stadium is the quintessential one for the Demons who have so often been buried of late in this fair city. The Power has had an ugly season after making last year's grand final. They have a number of the star players in mothballs and don't appear to have much incentive to win this game against the competition's lame ducks that also have their fair share of players on the injury list. This game promises to be one of the most forgettable contests in the history of the AFL; the result as predictable as any of game that Melbourne has played on South Australian soil since the Demons last prevailed over one of the locals. THE GAME Port Adelaide v Melbourne at AAMI Stadium Saturday 23 August 2008 at 2.40pm AEST HEAD TO HEAD Overall Port Adelaide 9 wins Melbourne 8 wins At AAMI Stadium Port Adelaide 8 wins Melbourne 2 wins Since 2000 Port Adelaide 7 wins Melbourne 5 wins The Coaches Williams 0 wins Bailey 0 wins MEDIA TV Fox Sports 1 - live at 2.30pm RADIO 774ABC SEN THE BETTING Port Adelaide to win $1.33 Melbourne to win $3.00 LAST TIME THEY MET Port Adelaide 25.13.163 defeated Melbourne 11.8.74 Round 17 2008 at AAMI Stadium The game attracted 23,485 souls, most of them Port Adelaide fans wearing the latest in high fashion moccasins and most of them went away from the game feeling decidedly happy with themselves and looking the part. Chad Cornes and Brad Ebert each kicked six goals as Port romped home by 89 points after threatening to inflict a 100-point shellacking on the hapless Demons. Green McDonald Wheatley tried hard. TEAMS PORT ADELAIDE Backs Toby Thurstans Alipate Carlile Nick Lower Half backs Jacob Surjan Troy Chaplin Peter Burgoyne Centreline Domenic Cassisi Kane Cornes Travis Boak Half forwards Tom Logan Matthew Westhoff Danyle Pearce Forwards Justin Westhoff Daniel Motlop Brett Ebert Followers Dean Brogan Shaun Burgoyne David Rodan Interchange Brendon Lade Marlon Motlop Paul Stewart Damon White Emergencies Greg Bentley Mitch Farmer Nathan Lonie In Dean Brogan Daniel Motlop Marlon Motlop Paul Stewart Out Mitch Farmer (omitted) Robbie Gray (ankle) Michael Pettigrew (shoulder) Ryan Williams (omitted) MELBOURNE Backs Matthew Whelan Stefan Martin Colin Garland Half backs James McDonald Matthew Warnock Paul Wheatley Centreline Simon Buckley Cameron Bruce Matthew Bate Half forwards Brad Green Colin Sylvia Austin Wonaeamirri Forwards Jeff White Brad Miller Michael Newton Followers Mark Jamar Cale Morton Nathan Jones Interchange Clint Bartram Daniel Bell Lynden Dunn Adem Yze Emergencies James Frawley Addam Maric Shane Valenti In Lynden Dunn Colin Garland Jeff White Adem Yze Out James Frawley (omitted) Paul Johnson (hip) Addam Maric (omitted) Shane Valenti (omitted) Umpires TBA WINNING FORM/LOSING FORM Melbourne's youthful side showed a little bit in their last outing when they won a rather incredible game against West Coast at the MCG. The Eagles had four goals on the board by the four minute mark of the second quarter and finished with five for the day against a team that was hammered by 116 points a week earlier. A win is a win is a win but you can't take very much out of such a result because the visitors played as if they had their minds on other things. Therefore, one would be foolish to take the form shown by the Demons as a guide for anything, let alone a game on foreign soil where they have been consistently thumped to the tune of an average of nine goals over a long period of years. But if the Eagles' form against Melbourne could be described as "lacklustre" then the Powers' efforts against Collingwood were equally mediocre. Their first half was on the big Friday night stage against Collingwood was competitive but, after the main break, they managed only another two goals for the night and but for a stunning display from Shaun Burgoyne, you would have been justified in describing the team's performance as "pathetic". Instead, it was just mediocre. It's the likes of the Burgoynes however, that tips the scales in Port's favour from my point of view (although Peter B hasn't been in the best of form of late). The home side still has a few stars like Kane Cornes and the solid Brendon Lade who always dominates in the ruck against Melbourne while the Demons are a team of honest young apprentices learning their trade. The return of Dean Brogan and Daniel Motlop remove any doubts that I was having and tips the scale in the home side's favour. So despite its winning form of last week, Melbourne isn't yet ready to provide me with a reason to believe it can win at AAMI Stadium this week. I'm tipping a Port Adelaide win by 23 points in what, for the Demons, will be a close one. POSTSCRIPT If there's any fairness in fixturing (which I believe there is not) then surely the AFL would have Melbourne host both the Crows and the Power next year and not make the club play any games at AAMI. After all, those teams managed to avoid away fixtures against the Demons in Melbourne. It's probably a waste of time asking because the AFL does what it wants to do and will continue to give clubs like Collingwood an easy ride to the finals with minimal travel while shunting others all over the country on a regular basis. End of rant.

And was easily BOG. Go figure! For additional insight into how the Demons went, the following article is currently on the melbournefc.com website: PETTERD SHINES FOR SANDY With Adem Yze out of the side, the Zebras fielded only seven MFC players. The Ooze would no doubt have been handy had he played given he amassed 37 possessions a week earlier against the Northern Bullants.

STANDSTILL by Ice Station Zebra Sandringham's campaign for 2008 came to a standstill on Saturday when it was overpowered by the Coburg Tigers in the second half to lose by a solitary goal in wet and greasy conditions at ABD Group Stadium. The loss puts the club two games out of the top four with only two rounds remaining to be played and only a minor miracle could see it taking part in September action this year. The Zebras were severely undermanned losing two experienced playmakers in Ezra Poyas and Adem Yze. This provided the opportunity for the introduction of two more first gamers in Scott Lockwood and Brett Liddell but while the young Sandy team competed strongly and finished well, in the end it was the stronger and more experienced bodies of Coburg that prevailed. The Coburg ground was a most uninviting venue for football. It was wet and muddy, particularly in the vicinity of the centre cricket pitch and conditions were cold and windy and the day started badly for the visitors who kicked into the strong breeze in the opening quarter. For the first 20 minutes they failed to register a goal and trailled badly going into the time on period. However, the game turned around dramatically with the Zebras kicking goals through the agency of Ricky Petterd, Ben Holland and Nick Sautner to go into the first break only 10 points in arrears and in a good position with the advantage of the breeze coming up. The Zebras were now right on top of Coburg with ruckman John Meesen displaying the form that saw Melbourne sign him on a three-year contract at the end of last year when he crossed from Adelaide. They kicked the first five goals of the second term to take control of the game with a winning midfield headed once again by skipper Peter Summers with David Gallagher also in strong form. The back six was firmly in control at this stage with Andy Biddlecombe continuing on with the good form he has been displaying all season. For the second week in a row, Sandringham loosened its grip on a game after seeming to be on top at the main break. They allowed the opposition to fight back with Greg Tivendale the focal point up forward for Coburg. The home side soon pegged back their half time deficit of 19 points and, with the aid of the strong breeze, they surged to a ¾ time lead of two goals. Sandy had the work ahead of it to get back into the match but, with the breeze at their backs for the final quarter, the feeling among the team and supporters at the final huddle was that they could overrun the Tigers. The home side had different thoughts and bottled the game up, forcing stoppages all around the ground and making it difficult for the Zebras to score. They then kicked three quick goals to take a 24 point lead into time on before Sandringham again hit back but, in the end, they could not penetrate the Tigers defence and when the siren sound were behind by six points. Young Demon Petterd who last year suffered a life-threatening punctured lung and missed two months earlier this year was prominent with four goals and Meesen played a strong game to thrust their named before the AFL club's selectors while Ben Holland kicked a couple of handy goals. Club stalwarts in Biddlecombe, Summers, Sautner (four goals), Gallagher and Chad Liddell all made excellent contributions to the team effort but the club will have to recruit strongly next year if it is to regain its mantle as the VFL's team of the decade. Sandringham 3.1.19 8.6.54 9.8.62 13.10.88 Coburg Tigers 4.5.29 5.5.35 11.8.74 14.10.94 Goals Sandringham Petterd Sautner 4 Holland 2 Biddlecombe Crowe Summers Coburg Tigers Tivendale 6 Collard 2 Caruso Horne Hughes King Oakley-Nicholls Shelton Best Sandringham Biddlecombe Summers C Liddell Gallagher Holland Meesen Coburg Tigers Tivendale Rance Horne Shelton Hyde Graham The reserves were well beaten by the unbeaten ladder leaders but are certain to play off in the finals. Andy McConell was the team’s standout player. Sandringham 2.1.13 3.2.20 3.4.22 5.7.37 Coburg Tigers 5.5.35 9.9.63 12.13.75 16.14.110 Goals Sandringham Gribbin Sargent Summons Torcasio Weetra Coburg Tigers Dulic 4 Jones 3 Cattapan Lynch 2 Abdallah Clifton Currie Morgan Trajkovski Best Sandringham McConnell Johnson Fleming Cannon Torcasio Tregear Coburg Tigers Morgan Trajkovski Jones Davis Currie Rayson

by Ice Station Zebra Sandringham's campaign for 2008 came to a standstill on Saturday when it was overpowered by the Coburg Tigers in the second half to lose by a solitary goal in wet and greasy conditions at ABD Group Stadium. The loss puts the club two games out of the top four with only two rounds remaining to be played and only a minor miracle could see it taking part in September action this year. The Zebras were severely undermanned losing two experienced playmakers in Ezra Poyas and Adem Yze. This provided the opportunity for the introduction of two more first gamers in Scott Lockwood and Brett Liddell but while the young Sandy team competed strongly and finished well, in the end it was the stronger and more experienced bodies of Coburg that prevailed. The Coburg ground was a most uninviting venue for football. It was wet and muddy, particularly in the vicinity of the centre cricket pitch and conditions were cold and windy and the day started badly for the visitors who kicked into the strong breeze in the opening quarter. For the first 20 minutes they failed to register a goal and trailled badly going into the time on period. However, the game turned around dramatically with the Zebras kicking goals through the agency of Ricky Petterd, Ben Holland and Nick Sautner to go into the first break only 10 points in arrears and in a good position with the advantage of the breeze coming up. The Zebras were now right on top of Coburg with ruckman John Meesen displaying the form that saw Melbourne sign him on a three-year contract at the end of last year when he crossed from Adelaide. They kicked the first five goals of the second term to take control of the game with a winning midfield headed once again by skipper Peter Summers with David Gallagher also in strong form. The back six was firmly in control at this stage with Andy Biddlecombe continuing on with the good form he has been displaying all season. For the second week in a row, Sandringham loosened its grip on a game after seeming to be on top at the main break. They allowed the opposition to fight back with Greg Tivendale the focal point up forward for Coburg. The home side soon pegged back their half time deficit of 19 points and, with the aid of the strong breeze, they surged to a ¾ time lead of two goals. Sandy had the work ahead of it to get back into the match but, with the breeze at their backs for the final quarter, the feeling among the team and supporters at the final huddle was that they could overrun the Tigers. The home side had different thoughts and bottled the game up, forcing stoppages all around the ground and making it difficult for the Zebras to score. They then kicked three quick goals to take a 24 point lead into time on before Sandringham again hit back but, in the end, they could not penetrate the Tigers defence and when the siren sound were behind by six points. Young Demon Petterd who last year suffered a life-threatening punctured lung and missed two months earlier this year was prominent with four goals and Meesen played a strong game to thrust their named before the AFL club's selectors while Ben Holland kicked a couple of handy goals. Club stalwarts in Biddlecombe, Summers, Sautner (four goals), Gallagher and Chad Liddell all made excellent contributions to the team effort but the club will have to recruit strongly next year if it is to regain its mantle as the VFL's team of the decade. Sandringham 3.1.19 8.6.54 9.8.62 13.10.88 Coburg Tigers 4.5.29 5.5.35 11.8.74 14.10.94 Goals Sandringham Petterd Sautner 4 Holland 2 Biddlecombe Crowe Summers Coburg Tigers Tivendale 6 Collard 2 Caruso Horne Hughes King Oakley-Nicholls Shelton Best Sandringham Biddlecombe Summers C Liddell Gallagher Holland Meesen Coburg Tigers Tivendale Rance Horne Shelton Hyde Graham The reserves were well beaten by the unbeaten ladder leaders but are certain to play off in the finals. Andy McConell was the team’s standout player. Sandringham 2.1.13 3.2.20 3.4.22 5.7.37 Coburg Tigers 5.5.35 9.9.63 12.13.75 16.14.110 Goals Sandringham Gribbin Sargent Summons Torcasio Weetra Coburg Tigers Dulic 4 Jones 3 Cattapan Lynch 2 Abdallah Clifton Currie Morgan Trajkovski Best Sandringham McConnell Johnson Fleming Cannon Torcasio Tregear Coburg Tigers Morgan Trajkovski Jones Davis Currie Rayson

by Scoop Junior I was away overseas over summer and missed the majority of the pre-season. Therefore, it was with a sense of excitement that I made my way to the MCG on Saturday afternoon because it provided me with my first opportunity in a long time to see a Demons training session. After all, it's not every day that you get to see the Dees go through their paces on that famous piece of turf although I was a little surprised to discover that close to 18,000 fans came along to watch the proceedings. We were even paid a visit by some members of the West Coast Eagles list (returning to the scene of their premiership triumph of a little under two years ago) along with a handful of members of their cheer squad. At first, the boys were a bit fumbly in a handball drill but they soon settled into their stride when the kicking drills were introduced about a quarter of the way through the session. From then on, the players trained at a reasonable level for the duration of the session. At times, the odd-looking blue and yellow witches hats provided an obstacle due to their size (what ever happened to those little training cones?) but on the whole the session was conducted well. Cale Morton was a standout on the track, his endurance on show with hard running up and down the ground. His ball use was better than previous weeks, though understandably there is not the same degree of heat in training as there is in a match. He just looks like he will be a beauty and should keep getting better and better as he gains experience and adds size to his frame. The old guard led the way, as they should with such a young squad around them. About halfway through the session, the crowd witnessed a strange drill where Paul Wheatley stood about 30m behind a pack of players, all on his own, with the object of the drill to get the ball to Wheatley, who would then use his laser-like right boot to deliver the ball back to teammates who would spread themselves around. While Wheatley's kicking was excellent, he will be sure to receive more pressure during matches when someone actually mans up on him. Green and Bruce were also good on the track, while McDonald was impressive in a centre square drill involving ruckmen Paul Johnson and Mark Jamar palming it into his path. Again, while this worked well, it will be a different story when facing an opposition midfield intent on winning the clearance for itself. Simon Buckley also trained well, running hard off his blue and yellow witches hat off half back to deliver the ball to the forwards. He has great pace and while there is work to do in the decision making department, he does offer something that the side lacks and will be an interesting player to watch in the coming years. Stefan Martin showed a fair bit, with his work in the defensive drills particularly impressive. He has an unorthodox playing style but it is effective and his athleticism for a big bloke is a major asset. While his kicking can be wobbly, he invariably makes good decisions and looks calm and composed in the back half. All in all, it was a solid outing from the Demons. Enough to suggest that there is some young talent coming through but at the same time showing that there is a lot of work to do. Next week Melbourne faces Port Adelaide at AAMI Stadium and, given its recent history at the venue, it should shore up a priority pick. However, nothing is certain in footy, and Port, without a host of stars is hardly playing inspiring football at the minute. There's even a hint of a rumour going around that the Power would not be upset to finish in the bottom three to pick up a Rich or a Naitanui rather than the next best choice in the draft. But that's all scuttlebutt ... I think! If the Dees do manage to win at AAMI for the first time since 2001, then I will consider doing something for the first time in my life. I might attend Richmond training on Sunday 31st of August at 2:10pm at the MCG and I'm even considering bringing along some blue and red witches hats for them to help make their practice perfect. Melbourne 1.3.9 5.7.37 8.12.60 11.13.79 West Coast 2.2.14 4.5.29 5.10.40 5.15.45 Goals Melbourne Bruce Newton 2 Bartram Bate Green Johnson Miller Morton Sylvia West Coast McKinley 2 Armstrong LeCras Lynch Best Melbourne Bruce Morton Sylvia Wheatley McDonald Green West Coast Embley Armstrong LeCras Injuries Melbourne Nil West Coast Wilkes (neck) Umpires H Ryan M Ellis K Nicholls Official Crowd 17,958 at MCG