MAD AS HELL

Our own Grumpy Old Man, Clyde returns after a long absence ...

MAD AS HELL by Clyde the Clifton Hill Cabbie

"I don't have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad."

That's how the late Peter Finch began his famous rant in the movie, "Network". That's also how I feel about football these days and in particular, how I feel about what's happening to my beloved Demons at the moment.

Despite the salary cap and the draft, the wealthy clubs (and most of them are outside of Victoria) have an enormous advantage over the battlers in Melbourne. They get the best of the fixturing, the best of the media arrangements and they benefit in the main from advantageous salary cap and draft conditions. The constant rule changes are turning the game into a glorified basketball game on grass, the umpires are getting worse and they can’t handle new rules like the hands on the back stupidity. Some of our high profile players are almost getting away with murder. Well, at least involvement in some pretty nasty extra curricular activities if what I read in the media is correct. And, the people at the AFL don't seem to know what to do about it all.

As far as the Demons are concerned, things are bad too. This was supposed to be our year. We were supposed to have a good enough list of players to win the extra game needed to scramble our way into the top four but look where we are?

We're second last on the ladder with two wins and the lowest percentage in the competition, the coach just departed from the scene, we can't get enough people to our home games (and if we did, it wouldn't matter anyway because we're not back home at the G till Round 22) and the team keeps on losing the close ones. It's been a horror year for injured players and some like Jared Rivers, Adem Yze, Clint Bartram, and Matthew Whelan are out for the remainder of the 2007 season. Another four, Daniel Bell (hamstring), Brad Green (knee), Travis Johnstone (achilles) and skipper David Neitz (you name it, he's got it) are this week's injury omissions from the team that lost to the Bombers after leading ten seconds from the final siren. Other players are afraid of losing their jobs. Some of them will. I sit at home watching a game on my TV while the commentator bad mouths the team and how bad they are but he never mentions the umpires who won't pay us free kicks as if that's the way it's supposed to be. I don't have to tell you things are bad.

To describe how bad I feel, I'll just repeat what Finch said in his Network rant and add a few of my own words.

We know things are bad - worse than bad. They're crazy. It's like everything everywhere is going crazy, so all I know is that first you've got to get mad. You've got to say, 'I'm a human being, god-dammit! My football club has value!' So I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window. Open it, and stick your head out, and yell, 'I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!' Things have got to change. But first, you've gotta get mad...You've got to say, 'I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!'

You know, I once drove Finch to the airport and he was practising his role as Howard Beale in "Network" and he impressed me so much with that now iconic primal scream: "I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore!" that I would use it myself sometimes while driving my cab. Many of my fares actually took my advice and then one day it dawned on me that it was I who they couldn't take any more so I eventually retired from the taxi game and then I was no longer mad as hell.

The only time I get really mad these days is when I see and read about the goings on at the Melbourne Football Club as they have in recent months. Talk about a whole season being derailed. What makes me really mad is the constant bagging we've been getting in the media and from opposition supporters and the reality is that we deserve some of it because, yes, we've had injuries this year and yes, we've lost the close games but a great deal of what's happened to us in 2007 has been self-inflicted.

Things have got to change and the change starts this week with a new coach (albeit a caretaker) and more youth in the team. Yes, things have got to change but first, we supporters have gotta get mad. Each of us has got to say, "I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!"

THE GAME

Carlton v Melbourne at the MCG - 8 July 2007 at 2.10pm

HEAD TO HEAD

Overall Carlton 109 wins Melbourne 88 wins 2 draws

At the MCG Carlton 43 wins Melbourne 46 wins

Since 2000: Carlton 4 wins Melbourne 6 wins

The Coaches: Pagan 0 wins Riley 0 wins

MEDIA

TV Channel 7 at 3.00pm (delayed telecast)

RADIO 3AW MMM 774ABC K-Rock

THE BETTING

Carlton to win $1.96 Melbourne to win $1.78

LAST TIME THEY MET

Carlton 12.8.80 d Melbourne 10.13.73, Round 18, 2006, at Telstra Dome

Melbourne's season was turned on its head when it lost to wooden spoon bound Carlton for the second time in 2006. The die had already been cast in the previous week when Aaron Davey, Byron Pickett and Travis Johnstone all succumbed to hamstring injuries. More injuries were to follow during this game and, to make things worse, the Demons' kicking for goal was woeful. For Carlton, Brendan Fevola (four goals) and his fellow forwards were deadly accurate. James McDonald worked tirelessly for the Demons and Matthew Bate emerged as a player of the future. Without a doubt, the club's two defeats at the hands of the Blues cost it a top four placing and snuffed out any chance it might have had of mounting a challenge for the heights in the 2006 finals series.

THE TEAMS

CARLTON

Backs Bryce Gibbs Bret Thornton Adam Hartlett

Half backs Shaun Grigg Jarrad Waite Heath Scotland

Centreline Paul Bower Ryan Houlihan Kade Simpson

Half forwards Marc Murphy Anthony Koutoufides Simon Wiggins

Forwards Eddie Betts Josh Kennedy Brad Fisher

Followers Setanta O'hAilpin Andrew Walker Andrew Carrazzo

Interchange Adam Bentick Matthew Lappin Jordan Russell Ross Young

Emergencies Cain Ackland Jordan Bannister Jason Saddington

In Paul Bower Shaun Grigg Josh Kennedy Andrew Walker

Out Brendan Fevola (club suspension) Cain Ackland Jordan Bannister Jason Saddington

New Shaun Grigg (19, Redan/North Ballarat U18)

MELBOURNE

Backs Daniel Ward Nathan Carroll Paul Wheatley

Half backs Chris Johnson Clint Bizzell Nathan Brown

Centreline Cameron Bruce James McDonald Ricky Petterd

Half forwards Simon Godfrey Russell Robertson Aaron Davey

Forwards Colin Sylvia Brad Miller Matthew Bate

Followers Jeff White Brock McLean Nathan Jones

Interchange Simon Buckley James Frawley Paul Johnson Michael Newton

Emergencies Lynden Dunn Ben Holland Byron Pickett

In Simon Buckley James Frawley Chris Johnson Brad Miller

Out Daniel Bell (hamstring) Brad Green (knee) Travis Johnstone (achilles) David Neitz (finger knee hamstring)

New Simon Buckley (20 Sandringham Dragons)

Umpires Hendrie Goldspink Fila

AND ANOTHER THING

Did I mention I was as mad as hell?

What really gets my goat is this priority draft pick nonsense. The original idea of helping clubs with weak playing lists has advanced beyond that stage and has now evolved as a reward offered for shameful and possibly even wilful mediocrity. Every year, when we enter the football season's home straight, the teams that are in the running for a priority pick invariably go into a downward spiralling freefall which somehow conveniently leaves them on the right side of the win/loss ledger.

Let's go back to Round 21, 2004 and consider the case of the Western Bulldogs who farewelled two of their favourite sons Matthew Croft and Simon Garlick against the Kangaroos. The Doggies rose to the occasion winning the match by 30 points with Croft and Garlick putting in superb efforts. Croft kicked five goals and Garlick kicked two and gathered 14 possessions but both were "dropped" for the final game against Essendon when victory would have cost the club a priority draft selection. They duly lost that match prompting many to ask whether it's usual to drop players who kick five goals in the penultimate game of the season.

That was but one example of what makes me hopping mad about these priority selections. The situation has become something of a joke in recent years and you won't find a better example of hypocrisy than when Collingwood strangely collapsed at the end of 2005 and accepted a priority pick two years after they played off in a grand final for the second year in a row. Back in 2003 Mick Malthouse had savaged the system that gave Melbourne a priority selection twelve months after playing off in a semi final. There are many who harbour some suspicions about the way Essendon finished off 2006 to claim a coveted priority selection and netted three top 20 picks. But I've laboured the point enough - let's go now to the present.

Along with the bottom placed Tigers, the Demons and the Blues are both in line for priority picks this year. Carlton will miss out however, if it wins (or even draws) another game. The way they've been travelling over the past two rounds (a combined losing margin of 177 points) and in the absence of Lance Whitnall and now Brendan Fevola, without who they historically struggle, it's not out of the question that they won't win another game this season. This could leave them with the first two picks in the 2007 National Draft as well as first selection in the Pre Season Draft. If they achieve that, the Blues will be absolutely dangerous in the trades and drafts at the end of the year given that there's a stash full of loot available courtesy of them having the country's second richest man at the helm. If you think it's far-fetched to expect them to lose all nine remaining games, then think again. Carlton has a realistic chance of winning only about three of those remaining nine games. Two of them are against Melbourne and the Demons wouldn't tank a game if their lives depended on it.

Even with Melbourne's burgeoning injury list, it should be far too strong for the Blues on the MCG. There is too much pride and a heap of playing contracts at stake for the Demons and they will be helped by history. Clubs usually rise to the occasion after coaching upheavals - they don't usually lose their immediate first game after appointing a caretaker coach.

One can remember a few years back when Neil Craig was given the gig at struggling Adelaide and his team started a rank outsider to win against Melbourne at AAMI Stadium. They still managed to wallop the Demons by about 12 goals in what was a major upset at the time. Look at the Bulldogs after Terry Wallace walked out and the Swans after Paul Roos took over from Rodney Eade. And who could ever forget the night Melbourne flogged Richmond under Greg Hutchison when Neil Balme was given the old heave ho in 1997?

Mark Riley has had his players going through hoops at training this week and they're ready for Pagan's paddock and anything else the Blues throw up at his team.

"The Melbourne footy club's supporters are going to see some of our young talent on show, which is pretty exciting going forward," he said earlier this week.

That means Demon supporters will see more of players like Ricky Petterd, James Frawley, Michael Newton and this week's debutant Simon Buckley.

"You can see the results that probably Hawthorn and Collingwood have had in promoting youth, so through the necessity of a few more guys falling over on Friday night, we're going to put a couple of young guys out there and give them a chance to show their stuff and hopefully start a fast-tracking program so they can hit the ground running in 2008."

The Demons have been very competitive in recent times if we leave aside the aberration of their abysmal showing against the Tigers a fortnight ago and it's been their inability to put away teams in the dying moments that has put them out of the running for a finals berth.

On the other hand, the Blues haven't been even close to putting the same sort of scoreboard pressure on their opponents in recent weeks.

While the Demon midfield has been inconsistent both between and during matches, it is able to fire on a few cylinders and when it does, the team can score big time for a quarter or two and that should be enough to overcome the rabble that is Carlton at the present time. This statistic from today's Age should put the matter beyond question -

"The Demons are ranked first for centre hitouts while the Blues are ranked 16th".

The named on ball brigade of White, McLean and Jones looks too classy for their inexperienced counterparts and, along with the likes of James McDonald and Cameron Bruce, they will be pumping the ball forward all day to set up a scoring feast for the Demons against the worst performed defence in the competition.

But if that's not enough to give Melbourne a win by 45 points, then things will be more than bad for the Demons and I will really be mad come the early evening hours of Sunday.