THE TRADING CHRONICLES 2010

[Demonland 73,140]

THE TRADING CHRONICLES 2010 by The Oracle

SHANGHAID

Last night I had the strangest dream. I was watching a television programme and Hutchy appeared on the screen to make a dramatic announcement.

"AFL CEO Andrew Demetriou has just issued a brief press release informing that as a result of sexual misconduct allegations levelled against two unnamed Collingwood players during grand final celebrations the AFL Commission has had no choice but to strip the Magpies of the 2010 Premiership.

"The Commission in its wisdom has decided that, in the light of the fact that the serious allegations against a former St. Kilda-listed player had yet to be determined through the normal course in the legal system, it would be inappropriate to award the premiership cup to that club.

"Accordingly, there was is other alternative but to award the status of AFL Grand Final to Sunday week's Kaspersky Cup Shanghai Showdown between Melbourne and the Brisbane Lions. The winning team will also be presented with the 2010 AFL Premiership Cup."

The picture on the screen faded and I could see the face of a bewildered looking Nick Maxwell.

"It's probably going to take this for the AFL to change the rules. It's an absolute joke."

Suddenly, I am transported into the foyer of the Howard Johnson Caida Plaza Shanghai where I am nervously pacing up and down the lobby. The game is less than an hour away and I notice the presence of some very tall men.

AFL footballers!

There's Paul Johnson wandering around telling all and sundry that the hotel was named after his father, Howard. Jake Spencer towers over him and there's this other young chap who's taller than both of them.

In wanders a new bloke looking for his luggage. He's tall all right but when bends down to lift his suitcase, he's really struggling. Suddenly, I realise that the newcomer is David Hale and then I realise

the Demons have yet to close the deal with the Kangaroos for the big man. How on earth can we possibly win the grand final without a second ruckman cum forward pocket?

Then I wake up bathed in sweat. It's been yet another nightmare.

Trade week does that to you. Trade week combined with a dodgy beef vindaloo from the local Indian Restaurant, the Delhi Belhi, and an evening viewing the goings on at the Commonwealth Games per medium of a television programme hosted by Huddo and someone who used to be a swimmer.

So back to the trades and yesterday was another big day for the Gold Coast Suns who snared another two AFL names in Magpie Josh Fraser and Brisbane Lion Jared Brennan. The former came at no cost to the new franchise while the latter was part of the club's first ever exchange. As predicted Andrew Krakouer and John Ceglar became Magpies after being contracted as previous listed and nominated players respectively.

The only other done deal took place when the Suns picked up former Sydney Swan, Casey Scorpions and Williamstown player Peter Faulks and traded him to the Dockers.

As for Hale, he is still in limbo with many of the other trade wannabes but is inching closer to the Hawks than the Demons. Apparently, Hawthorn's recruiting manager has never seen him bend down to lift a suitcase.

Meanwhile, the Lions have lifted the club imposed ban on Brendan Fevola who has been rummaging around at home to find his passport so he can join the club on its trip to China.

I remember my dream more vividly now. Was that Fev staggering out of the bar of the Shanghai Howard Johnson Hotel, slab of Fosters under his armpit, swearing loudly in mandarin and tripping over some other big bloke's luggage?

Completed Player Movements and Dealings on Day Three:

■ Gold Coast receives Gary Ablett (Geelong), Nathan Bock (Adelaide), Campbell Brown (Hawthorn), Jarrod Harbrow (Western Bulldogs), Nathan Krakouer (Port Adelaide), Michael Rischitelli (Brisbane) as uncontracted player selections

■ Western Bulldogs receive Mitch Wallis in return for its first-round draft selection (No. 20) under the father son rule

■ Western Bulldogs receive Tom Liberatore in return for its second-round draft selection (No. 40) under the father son rule

■ West Coast Eagles receive Jacob Brennan in return for its final-round draft selection (TBA) under the father son rule

■ Western Bulldogs receive Patrick Veszpremi and fourth-round draft selection (No. 73)

Sydney Swans receive Andrejs Everitt

■ Adelaide receives Richard Tambling

Richmond receives Adelaide's end-of-first round compensation for losing Nathan Bock and a third-round draft selection (No. 50)

■ Gold Coast receives Josh Fraser (Collingwood) as an uncontracted player selection

■ Fremantle receives Peter Faulks (uncontracted Gold Coast draftee from Williamstown VFL) and fourth-round draft selection (No. 61)

Gold Coast receives third-round draft selection (No. 65)

■ Collingwood receives Andrew Krakouer (uncontracted Gold Coast draftee from Swan Districts WAFL), Jonathon Ceglar (uncontracted Gold Coast draftee from Murray Bushrangers WAFL), third-round draft selection (No. 55), fifth-round draft selection (No. 78) and sixth-round draft selection (No. 95)

Gold Coast receives first-round selection (No. 25)

■ Gold Coast receives Jared Brennan and first-round selection (No.10)

Brisbane Lions receive first-round selection (No. 5)

NAB AFL Draft selection numbers are indicative only. Gold Coast draft compensation selections do not yet have a number assigned to them. The above list shows only where selections may be placed if no compensation selections are activated.

No trades are official until paperwork has been accepted by the AFL and formally recognised after 2.00pm on Monday, October 11.