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Hoping Kent and Hunt are involved in many passages of play together just to hear a commentator slip up really badly

Are we going to put anyone on Oxley this time?

Saty was at every training session too. But remember when asada asked for our records and we, you know, had them and gave them to asada? Like 16 other clubs did? Oh yeah

Stayed for a bit over an hour. Great to see such a large group. Didn't see Garlett but was told he was on the other side of the Paddock training separately. Spencer was also training separately and doing a fair few circuits with Daniel Cross. Trengove split from the main group after about an hour and started doing circuits as well. In the early part of the training, the squad was split into 4 or 5 groups to practise specific disciplines. Interestingly, Kent and N. Jones were in the same group and part of the exercise was for one player to have the big 'pad' and another player would lay a big bump and then go on to dispose of the ball. When it was Kent's turn to bump the 'paddee', he went in really hard. Jones had anticipated this and went in equally hard leaving Kent on the deck for a few seconds recovering. He then had to go off for a bit of treatment. Given that Kent is a bit of a bully (we need a few of them!), it was great to see that Jones had his measure and wouldn't be intimidated. Watched a bit of the match simulation and, like the real world, looked fantastic when it works (i.e. targets are hit) but ordinary when it doesn't. Petracca, Dawes look keen.

Roos will ask the players to man up but they'll refuse apparently.

He was just putting roofies in the Gatorade though, so he should get off lightly.

Anyone see this [censored] on the footy show tonight. He has tried to connect us with Dank and supplements scandle over 3 years now..He will not leave it alone and now suggests that WADA is going to reopen a case on us. The club needs to get on the front foot and smash this [censored]. He is a parasite.

Apparently Barrett is denying the use of multiple testosterone creams on his face. Sauces on the beat of this information have indeed confirmed he has been taking loads facially as well as ingesting. Many men are involved and Barrett is not confirming the reports as yet but his acne scarring has healed rapidly due to his man made concoctions according to anonymous reports.

Rowan Atkinson offers many great gifs. The Scott Bros. are quickly mounting a case for most giffable characters. Aren't you Chris....:

Misson said yesterday if Garlett got through training and pulled up well saturday he would play. If he doesn't, why is that Misson's fault. Vanders did an ankle. Brayshaw was rushed in by the Match Committee. Watts has obviously injured a knee. Why is that Misson's fault. I thought his main job was to get the players fit and that seems ok, they run out games. The Doctors and Physios look after injuries. Yes he might guess wrongly as to when a player will come back, but that is not his main job, that is just fluff for the supporters.

Unless Saty is Dank . . .

Prefer to like our chances of ending both their seasons and helping to lead to both coaches being shown the door...

Took about 60 years but it happened.....

We have reading it wrong all these years - I kept reading four to six weeks when it actually said four tee six weeks

This might be the most fun I've had in a thread in a long time. It might be because I'm only understanding every 3rd or 4th word. Plus Rowan Atkinson gifs.

Just curious, could this be Dank in disguise at Melbourne training?

Some quick stats for those interested. All stats based on full 25 man squad. MFC CFC Diff Average Age 23.2 24.7 -1.6 Average Games 60.6 85.7 -25.1 Back Line Ave Age 24.8 25.8 -1.0 Ave Games 106.0 101.5 4.5 Fol (includes wing) Ave Age 22.3 23.8 -1.5 Ave Games 60.8 95.2 -34.3 Fwd Ave Age 23.3 23.9 -0.5 Ave Games 47.3 100.0 -52.7 Int Ave Age 22.3 23.9 -1.6 Ave Games 32.9 51.9 -19.0 Melbourne Games Backline Fol Fwd Int total 0-50 1 3 4 5 13 51-100 3 2 1 1 7 101-150 0 0 1 1 2 151-200 1 0 0 0 1 200+ 1 1 0 0 2 25 CFC Games Backline Fol Fwd Int total 0-50 1 2 2 4 9 51-100 1 2 1 2 6 101-150 3 1 1 1 6 151-200 1 0 1 0 2 200+ 0 1 1 0 2 25 I thought the pies keep selling themselves as this really young and inexperienced side. Oh well, hopefully a younger and more less experienced side will show them up on Sunday.

Is Dank / Saty the real Keyser Soze?

I'd love to see Viney crunch that show pony, Jeremy Howe.

I used to go to most training sessions, never remember Dank being there, and I knew most of the backroom staff Dank has changed his story so many times, I am astounded that ASADA take him seriously, I thought he refused to say anything to them originally? Sam Newman (who I normally don't listen to, I put the TV on mute) summed it up the best on the Footy Show I know Dank was hawking his wares around the clubs, mainly on the strength of what Robinson was supposedly doing to the fitness at the Bombers

I thought exactly the same thing, Bobby! Scary! Stuff this "we will prepare for THEIR best"! How about WE just play at OUR best?!!

Is that you deeluded

I'm not investing any emotion into Hogan. He's 50 50 at best to stay. He's the classic pay to play player. My guess is he's leaving and I don't believe it will ruin us

What doesn't add up, to me, is what has changed in a few months. He happily signed on at the end of 2014 and, if he really wanted out, he could have gone to the club and demanded a trade. Nothing happened. He completed an excellent pre-season and is just starting to get back into form, giving no indication that he wants to be back in Perth at all costs. Langdon has hit the mark before, but he's also been waaaaay off as well. He is a Perth native who, of course, would want to see someone like Jesse come home. I just can't take him all that seriously.

Let's hope we don't hear after the game "yeah we made a mistake at the selection table" that will do my farkin head in.

Second week in a row that the selections have left me scratching my head. * Can't see a role for both Pedersen and Frost * It is a big roll of the dice playing both Wagner and Hunt. That is a lot of inexperience in defensive posts - assuming that is where they play. No choice but to put it down to "these guys are the experts and I'm not" and go with it. It's not doing my confidence much good though.

plenty of time to think ourselves in circles about how we might screw this up? Some weeks I sure am grateful I inherited melbourne supporterness from my family. Not sure what I'd do with my time if I didn't stress about the club.

Gifs. The answer is gifs.

Damnit! I tried to fit in with the cool older crowd and now look the fool. I have reinforced your beliefs about Gen Y's ignorance! I am a failure! Nyuk nyuk nyuk.

There are also good ones in performing arts.

Probably, let's assume!

I think we m11ght actually smash them.....remember to be careful where you park your cars, and remove all red and blue rememorabilla!

We have the perfect defense in any case. We have to be found guilty of taking performance enhancing drugs. We either didn't take performance enhancing drugs or if we did, we definitely need to ask for our money back.

Saty is the definition of a (clears throat) "dedicated fan". If he says dank wasn't there, he wasn't there.

I have never met Saty. I have never met Dank. Somehow though, I trust Saty a hell of a lot more than Dank. Thanks for the info

Nope. That doesn't wash anymore - we've been told we have to put up with that for 10 years. In actual fact, the 'inexperience' was just hiding mostly rubbish lists. We've got the players now win games of footy against middle of the road teams. Where we will lose out still is in tight situations against good teams like North, where that inexperience is genuinely the difference between winning and losing.

I don't think any of them can be accused of performance enhancing either

He's injured. You're on fire mate!

He should have said "we will let the opposition cruise to huge lead and then try to come back from there".

Jake barracks for the Pies, so it may be wishful thinking as much as anything else. If our inside mids and Gawn compete in the same fashion as they did against North then we win. It's as simple as that.

Sorry Hell's Bells. Ummm, Bernie wasn't so clumsy flattening Zeibell.

Always my fear, too, GoB - it's almost infallibly fatal - but fear not this time; the sub-editor's dream, the American 'Pie, is playing his first!

A bit too early to shoot the messenger... Lets just hope this gets cleared up quickly and we can keep moving forward though.

One of the worst AFL (so called) journalists ever to grace the pages/screens. What a lightweight. Great at making "Drivel" and hearsay sound like it's news worthy ground breaking fact!

Vince out and Sidebottom and Varcoe in ain't great. Feel nervous too.

I noticed Petracca and Weideman weren't selected though...

I definitely am nominating him as the Kent Kingsley Spud of the Week to Kick 6 Against Melbourne Despite Nobody Having Ever Seen Him Catch a Footy Before. Previously won by such luminaries as Beau Waters (twice I think).

Ms. Wilson in the Age has a good handle on Dank ~ His reputation ruined, Stephen Dank craves relevance. It's not just Dank's reputation that's ruined but also his credibility. How appalling it is that some people who have it in for the former board and CEO would give the four month story the time of day. For the record the matter was investigated by the club which reported to Gillon McLachlan, then second in charge at the AFL. According to information made available then, Dank was interviewed for a position at the club and was rejected. He also had dialogue with the club's doctor, Dr Bate on treatment of injuries without the club's knowledge but Bate cut off all contact on 5 February 2013 ("the darkest day"). Eventually word of what had happened got back to Don McLardy and Cameron Schwab who had the matter fully investigated and reported to McLachlan who had not communicated the fact to Demetriou when the 7.30 Report story about the club's connection came out. Demetriou was wrong to blast the club but no apology was ever forthcoming. If there is any truth to Dank's story it might come out (personally, I doubt anything of the sort will) but if anyone on this site wants to cast aspersions of impropriety on the specific individuals in charge of the club at the time on this issue, then please provide your name and address and be prepared to accept the consequences. This site does not endorse any comments or inferences against those persons.

It's scripted perfectly, Collingwood followed by Richmond. Please let it happen.

I allowed myself to get carried away with expectations and have ridden a hell of a rollercoaster in the last two weeks as a result. On paper and form we should be well on top of this mob, however I think for now I'll revert to the 2015 mantra of "cautious optimism".