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Melbourne’s media manager

And everyone thinks the MFC PR department had been a sleep at the wheel, what a beautifully orchestrated positive news story…

Actually kicking 5 goals 15 behinds cost us second spot, not the venue

This is a heartwarming story and illustrates the traits of courage, decency and bravery we see exhibited week-in week out by AFL sportsmen. Less so, the sensation-seeking click-baiting columnists feeding off our club at the present.

Every year a poster on another site called Pevster puts together his humorous summary of the trade period. This is his 2023 version which, while still funny, is probably not quite as funny as previous ones IMO. Adelaide’s List Manager: “We heard around the traps that Harrison Petty was being badly treated by his teammates on account of his meagre wage. They started calling him “Petty Change”, which hurt his feelings, so we decided to step in and offer him crazy money. Unfortunately, we couldn’t secure him, or any other player for that matter. But it didn’t stop us for being relentless in our quest for improvement. I can now disclose that we approached Sydney for a trade that would have seen them get one of our fringe players in exchange for their goal umpire.” Brisbane’s List Manager: “This trade period was more about maximising points rather than trading players. We tried to arrange a deal with the Pies that would have garnered us 5 extra points, but the Pies weren’t prepared to relinquish the flag. Gunston never quite settled in and knew he was on the outer when we told him his choice of post goal music was rubbish. Melbourne called about Fullarton which surprised us as nobody has called about him since he turned up at our club, not even his mother.” Carlton’s List Manager: “We are delighted to get Elijah Hollands who we convinced to join us, after a group of our leadership presented to him at a nude skinny-dipping event as Ed Curnow’s house.” Collingwood’s List Manager: “We feel, just like in the season proper, we won the trade period. The Shultz deal was a major win for us. In fact, as far as we’re concerned, we feel we did to Fremantle what Dan McStay did to his girlfriend in the toilet cubicle. We see Shultz as a like for like replacement for Ginnivan, as Ginnivan attended the infamous race meet the night before the Grand Final and Shultz rode the winner in race 8 that same night. A lot was made of our spelling Shultz’s name wrong on our press release. Some claimed it indicated that we didn’t properly value the player. That is ridiculous! In fact, we rate Shultz extremely highly, and we see a big future for him in our forward line amongst the likes of Mihocheck, Eliot and Macreeri.” Essendon’s List Manager: “Free agency has served us well, but due to the crazy money we are giving McKay and Gresham in particular, our salary cap has been somewhat depleted, with our much-heralded war chest now looking more like Nik Cox’s chest. We were sick of people joking that our recruits weren’t born the last time we won a final, so we brought in Goldstein who was 32 when we last won a final. Gresham’s offer raised some eyebrows, especially Gresham’s eyebrows, but we think he will gel really well with the other short players who miss targets. There has been a lot made out of the fact that Gresh is paying his own way to Arizona. So he should! Did you see what we’re paying him? The Duursma play was actually initiated by the people down at the Bomber Shop who thought that the custom-made club bow and arrow set would go well with the bestselling Dodoro dart board. We were able to secure a deal for Zerk-Thatcher who won the reverse Coleman but didn’t get a viable suitor for Shiel who won the reverse Crichton. We offloaded Massimo to the Hawks in exchange for a like on Instagram.” Fremantle’s List Manager: “I have to admit this wasn’t our best trade period. We were at least able to get a decent deal done with Shultz, with us giving up the player and in return getting their future first and the letter “t” from Shultz’s surname as a sweetener. We are at a loss as to why we keep on losing all our players. Luckily, we have reacted decisively by making a play for Gather Round to ensure that all of them come back to us for at least one week of the season. I can confirm that we are in talks with Ritalin as our new major sponsor in light of our Retention Deficit Disorder.” Geelong’s List Manager: “We were pretty disappointed to lose Ratugolea but we thought we got a fair deal for him. We got back 76 and 94 in the deal which represents the age range of our playing list." Gold Coast’s List Manager: “We had a very steadfast strategy coming into the trade period. First step was to acquire points for our academy players. Then the job will be to select them, extend their contracts on inflated wages, get into salary cap distress, give up draft picks to teams like Geelong to take the said academy players off our books and then cry poor to the AFL. Our new coach, Damien Hardwick thinks he has 80% of a premiership side, and he would know because he has been 80% faithful to Mrs Hardwick.” GWS’s List Manager: “We tried hard to get some takers for Haynes to get his 1.3 million dollars a year off the books, but unfortunately there were no suitors. Wealthy as he is, he now has a decision to make; does he play VFL or buy out the VFL. Our doctors are confident that they can prevent Fantasia from being sidelined with injury by opting not to play him." Hawthorn’s List Manager: “Jack Ginnivan is the big “in” for us. Some would be concerned by his behaviour but he has agreed not to cross the line, and we believe him as he is quite partial to lines. We have brought him in with a view to bolstering our forward division and also to prepare our club for the likelihood of an imminent war by teaching our players and staff the duck and cover technique which he has perfected over time. We weren’t worried about him attending the races on Grand Final Eve because most of our list are usually overseas the night before the Grand Final. We are proud to welcome Jack Gunston back to our club after his gap year and Mabior Chol has joined us for up to 4 years, depending on whether or not we replace Sam Mitchell with Damien Hardwick mid contract. Losing Brandon Ryan is tough as it further depletes us in the crucial two first names department. For those who haven’t seen Massimo play, our coach will uploading a clip of his highlights as soon as he’s finished his director’s cut of the clangers Tom Mitchell made while he was playing for the club." North Melbourne’s List Manager: “When Essendon offered that crazy contract for Ben McKay, we had a big decision to make; do we laugh hysterically before or after choosing to take pick 3 and run. Some of our fans are concerned that names like Fisher, Steven, Nguyen and Pink aren’t exciting. Of course they aren’t! If they were, we wouldn’t be able to go to the AFL next year for more handouts!” Port Adelaide’s List Manager: “We realised after our finals capitulation that we needed an injection of big names and both Zerk-Thatcher and Ratugolea possess very big names. Duursma was a bit of a loss, but he was quite unhappy in his role, which was basically to avoid doing anything noticeable and make Rozee and Butters look good. It’s not new for our club to assign a role like that. In fact, Kochy has that same role at Sunrise. Like Jason Horne-Francis’ ice bath, we have no intention of using the future 4th rounders we got in the deal. Jordan Sweet came to us after passing an intensive physical that involved checking that he was tall and had a pulse.” Richmond’s List Manager: “Some may accuse us of not being active this week, but it has not been wasted by any means as I was able to get a new Makita drill.” St. Kilda’s List Manager: “We were delighted to bring Dan Andrews in to help us negotiate our trades. His work on the East/West link and Commonwealth Games was perfect for Billings in helping us pay for something we had no intention of using. Dougal Howard did his due diligence before deciding to stay and fight for his spot in the backline, just as soon as he finishes fighting his parents for naming him Dougal.” Sydney’s List Manager: “We are happy to welcome Grundy as part of our ongoing time share arrangement and look forward to moving him on in a years’ time to the next club. Veteran Sam Reid persuaded Adams to come to us after convincing him that unlike Collingwood, we play injured players in Grand Finals. We wrestled with the decision about whether or not to make a play for Clayton Oliver, before coming to the decision that wrestling has not served our club very well – just ask Callum Mills. We were inspired by ‘Air’, the movie about Michael Jordan, in our decision to make a play for James Jordon. The club is excited to announce that we are going into production with a new club coloured footwear line titled, Meh Jordon.” West Coast’s List Manager: “We were thrilled that Flynn was prepared to move to us because movement isn’t one of his best attributes. Tyler Brockman, we see as an exciting prospect with a keen eye for the game which he will put to good use as the ball will usually be camped quite far away from him and his fellow forwards.” Western Bulldogs’ List Manager: “We wish Jordan Sweet all the best as starts his next inglorious chapter with Port. Sweet, like most of our bogan fans, was starved for opportunity due to English. Harmes and Coffield were selected for their ability to play in multiple positions, which works for us as our coach has no idea where to put any of our players. Bailey Smith considered leaving us for Hawthorn before realising that the Western Suburbs offers better drug options than Dingley. Many had us as one of the clubs into Clayton Oliver on the basis of a connection between Oliver and Libba, in that Oliver tattoos himself and Libba’s tattoos look so bad he could only have done them himself.”

Depends how thick the water was, I guess.

Tayla can go missing, and this season we're well covered for rucks so there's less opportunity for her to ruck and get into the game. But surely has the most X factor in the AFLW. Can impact the game in a half a quarter and is s match winner when on. The other thing she brings is her field kicking. Tayla is a terrific kick - clears 50 no problems, and the ball gets in there quick. It's a weapon. Gillard has a similarly long kick, (though not as fluent) and the direction seems to be to go long when she gets the chance. Deep entries are gold for the dees. Hore and Zanker are clunking them, Harris when she's up and about and Bannon not far off a break out game as a marking forward. The other factor is any boundary line throw in lands almost in the corridor after the umpire comes in from the boundary line. Our rucks and smalls can go to work.

Corn at SEN won’t like this

Seriously a contender of GIF post of the year. I can’t stop laughing. Hilarious @Beetle

A few passages from the article without copying the entire story. Demons coach Simon Goodwin’s quick thinking has saved a man’s life in Bali, coming to the rescue after the man dislocated his shoulder. Goodwin was in Bali after the end of the AFL season and surfing with mates including 1993 premiership winner Rick Olarenshaw on the island of Nusa Ceningan. The Herald Sun reported that a young man jumped off a cliff into the water but dislocated his shoulder. The Demons coach rushed over to the man and dragged him onto the surfboard and took him to safety beyond the break. Goodwin then flagged down a passing jet ski and helped the man onto it to get him to safety. The father jumped in the water to help his son, and recognised Goody and started talking footy. Goody’s response was let’s save his son first then chat about footy later. Goody showed a lot less bravery when a sea snake came across his path.

I blame our poor culture

See what high level culture produces…

Maybe Caddy could help him with this?

...because under defamation laws, publishers (ie Andy) can be held vicariously liable for the posts made on the publisher's platform. Use your googling skills if you want to read the post.

Correct there were disciplinary issues with drink driving that popped up. Recruiters were also unsure what position he was suited to as he seemed like a bit of a tweener. At 192cms he seemed too small for a KPF role and he'd be playing bursts in the midfield looking to develop as an inside mid. Hindsight shows his athleticism ensured he made it as a KPF, but it did take him him 6 years before clicking properly from both injury and form perspective. He's 27 before next season starts, so he's not as young as some think, further proof tall forwards generally take time. Its why JVR is extremely impressive for a 19 year old and well on his way to being one of the best KPFs in the league. Interestingly we were interested in Curnow as a big bodied midfielder rather than a forward but went with Weideman after selecting Oliver as an inside mid. On Caddy, he doesn't have the same athleticism that Curnow does. He doesn't have an explosive burst of pace off the mark, doesn't have much of a leap on him, struggles if he doesn't mark it, and kicking lacks penetration (barely makes it 50 metres).Though they're similar height, Curnow is far more physically blessed than Caddy appears to be. Really the only strengths I see with Caddy are aggression, and ability to read the ball in the air well and clunk marks at full extension when one on one. Not sure those strengths are enough to make it as a good AFL KPF at his height and don't think he's a top 10 pick personally.

At the end of last year at his exit meeting, he was told that he would be asked to play with more attack. So during the preseason he set about changing his body shape and as a consequence I think he had a brilliant year. At this year's exit meeting he got a 10/10 from all the coaches so he was happy with his season but not how it ended.

Love Goody! Long live the survivor and the coach!

Wonder what the learnings out of this would have been?

But was he the right guy for the job?

Hey Luci, If it helps, here are some links for the contract lengths of our 3 trades : Billings 2 years - McAdam 3 years - https://www.sen.com.au/news/2023/10/17/melbourne-strengthens-forward-line-as-crow-becomes-a-demon/ Fullarton 2 years (I couldn't find any reference after the trade, only this from before the trade) -

Yep. Her last quarter against the Crows at Casey was extraordinary. She was out-jumping every opponent in the ruck, slamming it forward and allowing Tyla Hanks et al to set up quick entries for Eden Zanker. If she’d been able to play on-ball the entire quarter, I’ve no doubt we would have run all over them (almost did anyway). She scares oppos sh**less, is enormously valuable, and consistently gets underrated for it I reckon.

I got married in 1974, best decision ever.

The under-valuing of Hunter amazes me!

Goodwin specifically called out the AFLW team and their great season at the BnF. He said he "can smell another flag". Let's hope so, it would really turn around a frustrating year for the club.

I hear it was Max Gawn. He flew from Fiji to dislocate the men’s shoulder in Bali, then flew home to find Clayton Oliver has burnt his house down. I read it on Twitter so it’s 100% true.

I think Warner will write that it was actually this young man’s time and that Goodwin shouldn’t be getting in the way of the natural order of things. HEADLINE ’Goodwin plays god - should he decide who lives and dies?’

For those wishing for a bit of local colour. The adjacent island of Nusa Penida has the Pura Dalem Penetaran Ped temple, within which there is a shrine for a Balinese Demon. It is amongst other things a place of pilgrimage for those seeking a safe return journey. Serendipitously for the man rescued Goody was there. An offering at the temple may be in order.

Dislocated shoulder hitting the water!!! That would be a viscous way to go

Yeah but can he save the footy club??

So that probably means we can take two picks and Kynan Brown if we want to and retain Melksham on the Primary list and still have a Rookie slot available. Or if KB doesn't get drafted we can just list him as a Rookie.

Recruiters and coaches don’t worry themselves over a couple of centre meters. They look at the ability to play a position, their skill level, and their attitude/character. JVR and May stand at 193 cms. Cripps is 195cms.

May I join in? The problem being in Melbourne for this 'Adelaide' boy? The long drive.

I was with you at the start of your post about Curnow, but this last part is very different to my observations of Caddy. Curnow slipped and I think you're right that it was very little to do with the drink driving and almost entirely about questions regarding whether he could play key forward at AFL level with his size ("only" 192cm) or whether he'd have to be a midfielder/flanker. Ironically, the exact issues people are discussing with Caddy. As for talking about Caddy's athleticism, I think you're completely wrong. Caddy is a very athletic and powerful player, which are some of his real strengths. He jumps at the ball, is strong at ground level and strong defensively. He is a powerful kick over distance and wins contests that are very difficult to win. Like Curnow he plays taller because he's got long arms. I think you've misjudged his ability because you've started at the wrong spot with his power and athleticism.

https://www.afl.com.au/news/1057086/sharing-the-wealth-how-1m-mcclelland-trophy-prize-will-be-split An article to explain how the money will be split to the winning club.

I think you’re underselling Caddy’s athleticism, his agility is great and his pace is good given he’ll have a powerful frame and won’t be matching it with skinny back flankers. His kicking penetration looks fine to me too, but he’d be in for a fair amount of work with Choc Williams to get consistency. Would be nice if he was a little taller or a little cleaner with the ball but to me it comes down to how sticky his hands are. If the belief is he’ll hold a good share of his marks then I’m fully on board.

Why take down the Melbourne synopsis? ffs I wanted to read it. There are too many posters on DL who are so easily offended. Pathetic really.

Can you provide the link to the page?

I'm wondering whether on the back of the stuff that's been going on lately, adding in our clear issues when dealing with pressure, we need to invest heavily in sports phycology. I feel like the incidents that have happened are a reflection of players not dealing with stress and frustration in a healthy way, while on field we got found out in pressure situations and inability to execute when needed (ie inaccuracy in front of goal, not entering the forward line with logic and poise, not staying cool under pressure at the end vs Carlton). These point to issues between the ears instead of issues in on field ability. That said our forward tactics do need a serious looking at, while having JVR and Petty have as good a pre-season as possible will go a long way towards helping the cause.

I fear he'll be in his 40s by then.

He has been a mainstay of the red, white and black for almost a decade, his most recent campaign was frustratingly bookended by stints on the sidelines through injury. The left-footer has since come out the other side of off-season back surgery, steadily building his body back up and recapturing his form from 2019, which saw him just shy of a podium finish at that year's - Saints Trevor Barker Award. Able to hold down a role coming off half-forward or help drive his side’s outside run, Billings’ adaptability will likely come in handy and I see him as a better class than the likes of Chandler, ( sad to say). As for Hunter, he MUST stay. I like him and frankly, I feel he had a better year than Langdon.

From the AFL website: 'The McClelland Trophy...[is]...to include the AFLW competition, with...[the]...prize money to be shared between the club and all its players.' [my italics x 2] So, girls and boys (and 'club').

A forward line with Caddy and Schache 🤔🤔😂😂

Whats the bet he asks for a trade to Melbourne when we move to Caulfield

Burning dwarves? Or was that before his time? I was reliably told that I listened with great interest the drawn GF and the replay between sleeps in my bassinet.

With all the [censored] MFC supporters are copping from other supporters ( yeah… cause their teams are so clean), I suggest the new training ground head to Columbia. They’d welcome us with open arms.

North lease the ground at Arden Street. The problem is if you sink club money into the facilities and more importantly how much. Hard to sell a grandstand on leased land. The problem of grandstands etc may limit the use of Caulfield as a match day venue for AFLW etc. Assuming the race club wants to protect line of sight views of the back straight for punters.

Does Coll own the Olympic ground or the old swimming pool? Richmond? Carlton? North Melb? Saints? Brisbane? No, of course they don't A long lease is fine and common practice. "Diabolical" is a tad hysteric, even for you, WYL!

Doesn't seem to worry Collingwood at the Holden Centre - owned by Melbourne and Olympic Parks Trust. City of Melbourne owns Punt Road and Princes Park.