Media personality Titus O'Reily is one of us ... he's a Demon fan and his weekly AFL match reviews are concise and brutally funny.

The Monday Knee Jerk Reaction: Round One - Titus O'Reily | Don’t have faith in yourself

Here is his review of yesterday's game against the Saints:-

Melbourne (120) v St Kilda (107)

Last week, the Saints tried to get a chant going with a drum.

I believe it went like this ‘Knock knock? Who’s there? Owen. Owen who? Owen-Two.’

There’s nothing worse than buyer’s remorse.

After spending the GDP of a large European country in the off-season, they got a result they used to achieve for a third of the cost.

Max Gawn seemed to take it personally that Tom De Koning was on more money than him.

Gawn was angrier than a man who’s just discovered a wedding reception is booze free. And vegan.

De Koning looked like he was the older player, struggling to go with Max as the game went on.

For Demons fans, watching their team for the first time this year, despite the season starting several months ago, it was worth the wait. 

He does all the other games as well and he has a fantastic podcast called Sports Bizarre with Mick Molloy which I highly recommend.

Love Titus...

'Owen Two' 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Carlton (77) v Melbourne (100)

If I was Essendon, I’d send Carlton a fruit basket or similar to thank them for distracting the footy world.

There’s been some spectacular collapses in history. Lay Down Sally, Kevin Spacey’s career, the Bronze Age. Now we can add Carlton to that list.

The Comedy Festival has only just started but the Blues have already won Most Outstanding Show.

Up by 43 points, it’s hard to convey just how in control of this game Carlton were in the first half.

The Dees barely saw the ball in the first quarter and only got vaguely acquainted with it in the second.  

Blues fans went into half-time feeling good, but still very aware they barrack for Carlton.

What happened next was both surprising and incredibly predictable.

The Dees got moving and the Blues reacted like they always do when things aren’t completely going their way, they froze.

Players stopped tackling, running, and trying.

Dezi Feeman should have hidden in Carlton’s forward pocket in the second half; no one would have found him.

Melbourne believed, Carlton didn’t.

Kysaiah Pickett set the tone from the second quarter, and dragged his team along, aided by 250 gamer Max Gawn.

Things are exciting when you don’t play the first half at all and still win comfortably.

Demons fans celebrated like the Luxury Car Tax had been lifted.

Melbourne do have some strategic flaws to address though. Mainly, the stark reality that you can’t play Carlton every week.   

The Blues now have the enviable task of pretending Michael Voss isn’t being sacked in the near future.

Support Titus - he’s a Demon https://www.titusoreily.com/afl/the-monday-knee-jerk-reaction-round-three2026

👍🏻

It’s not Monday but Tuesday will do

Melbourne (109) v Gold Coast (89)

Melbourne spent the last few years focusing on not losing games. They could defend, but they couldn’t score.

They rarely got knocked out, but they lost on points.

Under Steven King they’re the ones going for the knockout.

It might not always work, but it’s fun to watch.

And on the weekend, it really worked.

It was helped a lot by a young guy named Kysaiah Pickett who’s worth checking out, and that big tall guy with the beard who always takes the marks.

The Suns, were certainly not bad. Even with their talent you’re not going to win every game.

Damien Harwick said it was a ‘kick right in the nuts’, which I’ve always said is something to be avoided.

As a Dees supporter, I can say kicking someone in the nuts is more fun than being kicked in the nuts. I don’t think you need to be a Dees supporter to get that.

https://www.titusoreily.com/afl/the-monday-knee-jerk-reaction-round-four2026

15 hours ago, Whispering_Jack said:

Damien Harwick said it was a ‘kick right in the nuts’, which I’ve always said is something to be avoided.

As a Dees supporter, I can say kicking someone in the nuts is more fun than being kicked in the nuts. I don’t think you need to be a Dees supporter to get that.

Pfft you’ve clearly never given birth. A kick in the nuts is mere tickling compared to it. 😅

5 hours ago, Ghostwriter said:

Pfft you’ve clearly never given birth. A kick in the nuts is mere tickling compared to it.

You're overlooking a very important difference.

It's quite common for women, having just had a baby, to say that they'd like to have another one.

No man in history, having just been kicked in the nuts, has ever said they wouldn't mind another.

9 minutes ago, Demonstone said:

You're overlooking a very important difference.

It's quite common for women, having just had a baby, to say that they'd like to have another one.

No man in history, having just been kicked in the nuts, has ever said they wouldn't mind another.

I present to you a Mr Michael Voss.

I think we have a clue about the contents of his half-time addresses.

I wonder how the equation changes if you had a baby every time you got kicked in the nuts. Like a mobile game - tap twice to respawn.

And because I will mention my little creature at every opportunity - when I pass him to his mum after time apart he invariably gives her a big gooey 'kiss' (attempts to eat parts of her face), but do the reverse and he always goes for the excited flailing arms and legs until he manages to get his fingers up my nose and a solid kick to the crotch. It is basically the self defence routine from Miss Congeniality.

6 hours ago, Ghostwriter said:

Pfft you’ve clearly never given birth. A kick in the nuts is mere tickling compared to it. 😅

I question that. I have never ever heard a guy that’s been kicked saying later on ‘let’s do that again.

On the other hand plenty of women have gone onto to having multiple birth experiences.😉

I caught the train home with Titus after a Dees' match last year. Chatted to him all the way ... he's a ripper bloke ...

4 minutes ago, Wodja said:

I question that. I have never ever heard a guy that’s been kicked saying later on ‘let’s do that again.

On the other hand plenty of women have gone onto to having multiple birth experiences.😉

That’s because we’re high on pain meds and will say anything. There are no laws of physics broken with a kick to the nuts; several broken with childbirth. Howsabout you go ahead and push something the size of a watermelon outta something the size of a lemon then we’ll talk 😅

Edited April 8Apr 8 by Ghostwriter