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Demonstone's Guide To Posting On Gameday Threads



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7 hours ago, La Dee-vina Comedia said:

Am I allowed to be a bit serious and ask that the opposition team be called by its real name or real nickname? The faux naming linking the opposition with a past event or a deliberate misspelling probably seemed amusing when we were 13 years old*, but today... really?

*If you are 13 years old, go ahead. You're excused.  

In my defence, I have stopped calling the Cats the "Handbaggers". On occasion I may have called them "Dads Army" but I'm really hoping the "Catatonics" takes hold.

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You forgot the 2022 rule; BBBB does anything other than clunk everything and kick a bag and you must abuse him for being old, past it, not tough enough, weak, soft and vegan (in no particular order)

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15 minutes ago, DemonWA said:

You forgot the 2022 rule; BBBB does anything other than clunk everything and kick a bag and you must abuse him for being old, past it, not tough enough, weak, soft and vegan (in no particular order)

Needs to work on his tan as well.

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23 minutes ago, Kozzie4PM said:

Can safely say I've never gone in the match day thread. Too busy watching the game.

And drinking obviously.

A wise decision, really need to try that sometime. 

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12 minutes ago, He de mon said:

At what point in the game do you bemoan the non review of the 2018 PF?

Every one of the considerable number of games we lost in 2019 were because of that one game we didn’t review.

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45 minutes ago, He de mon said:

At what point in the game do you bemoan the non review of the 2018 PF?

What’s worse is that Goody never reviewed the 2021 GF - he’s got no idea how we won the flag! 

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22 hours ago, DubDee said:

I decided to play a drinking game one week.  Every time a poster said the umpiring is corrupt or there is a conspiracy against us I had to take a shot.

Ended up at the Alfred

Same here, but it was the Alfred Bottle Shop as i had run out of supplies by quarter time.

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21 hours ago, dworship said:

In my defence, I have stopped calling the Cats the "Handbaggers". On occasion I may have called them "Dads Army" but I'm really hoping the "Catatonics" takes hold.

I am tempted to write a review this week so I can entitle it "The Last of the Summer Wine".

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19 minutes ago, redandbluemakepurple said:

I am tempted to write a review this week so I can entitle it "The Last of the Summer Wine".

Whilst a somewhat obscure reference, I think the reverence towards the ageing is somewhat misplaced.

Although, if all they can do is celebrate/ relive past glories that may be apt.

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On 7/5/2022 at 2:09 PM, He de mon said:

Very helpful, thank you. Any tips about what I should say about the coach?

If we win the game, it was thanks to the input it Choco, Richo and Yze.

if we lose the game, it was entirely Godwin’s fault and he on thin ice.

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10 hours ago, layzie said:

Bemoan the fact that Tomlinson/Garland/Ryan Ferguson/Seecamp/Some other bit part defender wasn't in to take care of the gorilla forwards..

A touch harsh on Seecamp.  James Hird hated playing on him.  I remember he matched up with Dermie in one of those Whitten charity games.  Dermie couldnt get a kick.

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8 minutes ago, Jontee said:

A touch harsh on Seecamp.  James Hird hated playing on him.  I remember he matched up with Dermie in one of those Whitten charity games.  Dermie couldnt get a kick.

All servicable players at some point Jontee. It's more that they could be in and out of the side.

I remember people really wishing in hindsight that Seecamp played in that Grand final. Would the result have been different? probably not, would he have gotten stuck in for our younger guys? Yeah probably. 

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Posted (edited)
On 7/5/2022 at 2:01 PM, Demonstone said:

You may be new to Demonland and are unsure how to proceed or have been here for a while but still don't feel confident about posting on the gameday threads.  I have prepared the following guide to make it easier for everybody to have their say while fitting in with the mood of the board.

First thing you must do is take your angry pills and ensure that you post in a negative, pessimistic, illogical and reactionary manner.  Defeatist is good, as is hysterical over-reaction, whining and sooking.  Don't forget to assume the worst and always look for the dark cloud around every silver lining.

As a memory aid, it helps to keep in mind the Five C's:  criticise, complain, catastrophise, carp and castigate.

For added fun, you might like to pick out a whipping boy and make sure to pot him at every opportunity.

Here are some scenarios that may occur during the game and suggested responses.

  • Other team kicks the first goal of the match.  "Game over"  "We're screwed"
  • Other team wins the match.  "Season over"  "We're screwed"  "Sack the coach"  "The players are drinking their own bathwater"
  • Player X has quiet game.  "Recruiting blunder"  "Should have picked player Y"  "Trade him"  "Send him back to Casey"  "Delist"
  • Player start limping.  "We're screwed"  "Out for season"  "Sack fitness/medical staff"  "Bring back Burgo"
  • Player goes down into rooms.  "We're screwed"  "Out for season"  "Will never play again"  "Bring back Burgo"
  • MFC player involved in incident.  "It's Melbourne, they'll suspend him for multiple weeks"
  • Opposition player involved in incident.  "It's not Melbourne, he'll get off"
  • Player misses shot at goal.  "Such inaccuracy is typical"  "Who's the forward coach?"  "This will cost us a Grand Final"
  • Melbourne kicks 3 or 4 goals clear.  "We'll go to sleep now and rest on our laurels"
  • Melbourne wins.  "Should have won by more"  "Percentage will cost us top spot"  
  • Poster is happy with win.  "Stop embracing mediocrity"  "We're getting ahead of ourselves"  
  • MFC is losing the free kick count.  "AFL/umpires/broadcasters are corrupt"  "They're biased against us"
  • MFC is winning the free kick count.  Do NOT comment under any circumstances.

Sage and timely advice indeed, ‘Stone!

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  • 2 weeks later...

On selection: Player X needs a run of games in the firsts to get the feel for the game.
After an average first game in: Player X was awful and should be dropped, and never play for Melbourne again!

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8 hours ago, dee-tox said:

Demonland either has a few trolls infiltrating the website or we have the worst so called fans going around. Embarassing.

There seems to be a lot of new accounts around potting our players and telling us how our coaches can't coach their way out of a paper bag. 

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