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Jurrah Coffee

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    All the Jack's and JURRAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  1. Q. What do you do for a drowning Collingwood player? A. Nothing. You could drag him to the top, but he'll choke anyway. Q. What's the difference between Collingwood and an arsonist? A. An arsonist wouldn't waste 22 matches. Collingwood are bringing out a new bra! Plenty of support, soft and no CUP!!! Q. What do Collingwood fans and sperm have in common? A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being. A Collingwood scout gets a tip from an avid traveller about a young Iraqi kid who had spent a bit of time in Australia as a youngster that may be worth a look in the up coming draft. He's 6'6, runs the 100 in just over 10 seconds and had been kicking around the oval ball since he was 4. The scout didn't know what to make of it and asked Eddie if he though it was a good idea. Eddie was excited by the sound of the kid, but didn't want to waste a draft pick on a player neither of them had seen, so he sent the scout along with Nathan Buckley and Simon Prestigiacomo to Iraq to test the kid out. Turned out the kid was even better than advertised. Not only was he too strong for Presty in the one on ones, he showed more than enough talent when matched against Buckley to suggest that he could be used anywhere on the field. The scout called Ed and raved about the kid long enough for Eddie to agree to pick the kid up in the draft. Round one of the next season came and the young Iraqi was named at full forward for the game. 6 goals later, including one after the siren to win the game for the Maggies, he decided to call his mother and tell her about his first game. "Mum, I kicked 6 goals and won the game for the team!" His mother replied "I'm glad you had a good day son, but our day at home hasn't been quite as good. Your father was shot this morning and has gone to hospital, your younger brother was mugged and our house was bombed." "Gosh mum, that's terrible. I'm sorry." "You should be sorry , it's your fault we moved to Collingwood in the first place"
  2. It couldn't be worse than the flag raising we had a couple of weeks ago.
  3. Warnock-bad decision making Jones-heart and brave Bartram-bad decision making Watts-what a superstar Gysberts-very good game Bate-had little impact Frawley-was solid throughout Sylvia-has elite qualities McKenzie-playing into form Petterd-no defensive pressure Green-moments of 2010 Maric-very skillful performance Moloney-continued effort throughout Jurrah-needs higher intensity Rivers-was really quiet Macdonald-tough but clumsy Newton-never play again Martin-improved ruck performance Tapscott-hopefully is ok Davey-very very soft Jetta-always gives all Evans-promising first game Warnock and Bartram especially give me the shits when they kick sideways or try and attempt to do stupid things in the defensive 50 by hospital handpasses and indecision regularly. We cost at least 4 goals from basic mistakes in our defensive 50. Jurrah please have a greater impact and play with more intensity, its promising that he can still 3 on an average day, Lj will destroy some teams if he lifts his work rate and also his teamates kick to him rather than Juice. Finally Newton.........PATHETIC effort, this better be his last game ever, never have I seen a player with no defensive pressure, was wandering around the ground like a space cadet and how can you miss from 5m out!!! A soulless and heartless effort, there is no reason why he should be playing, yet again has he failed and he prevents blokes like Cook, Howe, Mcdonald, Gawn etc from playing games , at least those blokes will give an effort
  4. Cant stand Quarterbrain Josh Kennedy for WCE did the same thing last year in a NAB Challenge match against us and bumped Sylvia and broke his jaw. I remember how they didnt capture the footage of the bump, so Kennedy got off suspension, then a couple days later the footage of the incident was released. Bizarre! If Tappy gets weeks just shows how screwed up the AFL tribunal is.
  5. OUT-Bailey IN- Connolly or Viney as caretaker Bring back Petterd!!
  6. 6-Garland 5-Watts 4-Trengove 3-Jones 2-Bail 1-Tapscott Loved his bump on Nicoski Back to Casey - Morton, Dunn, our defence and coaching staff
  7. Will you still have a Jurrah Mancrush??
  8. This year I have been so frustrated with how the dees have progressed. They have definately the worst intensity and work ethic during matches in the competiton, and especially during Bailey's 4 years nothing has barely changed. Bailey i rarely notice gets fired up and emotional during matches, and this translates to the players efforts on the ground, as many players are flat-footed and not giving a s*&^ about applying defensive pressure or tackling. Bailey's 'game plan' is extremely easy for opposing clubs to manage, and when it isnt working melbourne are in great trouble. The club must become serious and appoint a coach who is passionate, tough, mean and knowledgeable who will allow the MFC to progress into a premiership contender. Seriously Malthouse should be the number 1 target. The filth players are ALWAYS RUNNING and presenting, tackling, etc and hopefully a good coach like Mick could totally change the playing style and intensity of the team. As much as i dislike the Essendon Bummers, Hird is someone who the PLAYERS RESPECT AND WOULD PUT THERE BODY ON THE LINE ANYTIME for the coach and this has been evident this year. There list is not too different from ours in quality, just the MFC need a new coach to progress and become a premiership contender.
  9. When all the players do that telethon membership night soon, the membership will rise up more. Especially with the 10,000 not signed from last year. 40,000 members is definately achievable GO DEES!!
  10. I just wish Strauss and Bartram would be just one player. Strauss needs to have better defensive skills and courage like Barty, while Barty needs to have kicking skills like Strauss.
  11. They would be awesome, when do you think they would be available to purchase?
  12. Good to see some of the boys in the to 50 BUT How can Jarrad Waite be 45? And why is Jolly and Mumford above Jamar?
  13. Seems very much like the Dunn, Newton, Bate draft.
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