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Mel Bourne

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About Mel Bourne

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    Adem Yze, Rodney Grinter, Jeff Farmer, Gawndog.

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  1. The fact is our coach can’t even smile without making a mistake.
  2. Didn’t know AFL players weren’t allowed to bet on AFL games. Didn’t think there was anything wrong with pestering Steven Dank for “the good stuff”. As somebody who followed the Essendon drug scandal very closely (my best mate’s little bro was in the team at the time), I was furious to learn of his appointment at our club. Have been trying to keep a cool head about it throughout my time on DL discussions. Failing miserably today. Sack him.
  3. What on earth could you hope to glean from that dullard? Get rid of his toxic presence at our club.
  4. The sooner I see the back of Simple Simon the better. The most glaring flaw last year was the inability to convert due to rubbish disposals going inside 50. How can a team emerge from months of training without this issue being absolutely and utterly addressed? There was not a modicum of improvement in that area. That game was like watching round 25 of the 2019 season. I cannot stand our coach. I am sick to the gills of watching his lights on, nobody home, deer in headlights face. He talks absolute corporate-speak nonsense, and he sucks at his job. I can't invest emotionally in this club anymore until that low IQ turkey is gone and replaced by somebody who can walk and chew gum at the same time.
  5. Thus ends another disappointing season for the Melbourne Football Club.
  6. Lever is a terrible kick. Just a terrible, terrible foot-passer of the game.
  7. Kozzie and Lockhart must be wondering why they’re doing so much of the heavy lifting for all of these supposedly experienced professionals. Those two and Viney can hold their heads up.
  8. Somebody should mention to Hibberd that we’re the ones in the red and [censored] blue jumpers.
  9. So many player’s disposals have been terrible, but Hibberd’s have been nothing short of damaging to us. I’m annoyed that this season stoppage is going to take the heat off Goodwin. He’ll likely stay coach till 2021, by sheer default. I cannot wait till we have a real one.
  10. This will be the most heavily analysed game in Demonland history.
  11. Well.... I’ll just have to watch the [censored] out of this game then.
  12. This 1895 portrait of the Melbourne Football Club is pretty marvellous, and a great glimpse into the team’s history of moustaches.
  13. I know some folks from Macedon who would attest that he has been “happy with himself” from a young age. I’m hoping the big league, coupled with his far-from-impressive form of late, has been appropriately humbling for him.
  14. Cancel season until Harley Bennell’s calves are ready.
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