Jump to content

  • Latest Podcast: JLT 02 Brisbane

P-man

Crystal Ball 2019: Predictions for next season

Recommended Posts

Mach5, smiling about points 1,2,3,6 and 8.

Worried about point 4. Cannot lose him, replaces the forever-erroring OMac in all regards. Whilst many do not agree, many more do agree.

As for point 7, without drive, ambition and effort, possibly correct.

Still, have a great Christmas and New Year. 🙂

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Essendon defeats Collingwood in 1st Preliminary Final and advances to Grand Final. Melbourne defeats Geelong in the 2nd Preliminary Final by a whopping 187 points and proceeds to the Grand Final. We defeat the Bombers by 5 goals. Eddy produces documents that prove that Essendon used drugs on the day of the 1st Prelim and the result is subsequently reversed. AFL orders a Grand Final replay between Dee's and Magpies with the result being a draw at the final siren. After another 15 minutes of play, Melbourne goes on to defeat Collingwood by 1 point. In order to deflect from all the corruption scandals plaguing him, Prime Minister Bill Shorten announces MFC to be the greatest football team in history and all Melbourne supporters to receive free beer for the next 12 months. Malcolm Turnbull joins ALP and is made Deputy Prime Minister. Declares that he supports Bill Shorten 100%.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 12/11/2018 at 1:08 PM, KK16 said:

Oscar is a better lock down defender, and suits May and Lever’s natural dash and intercept marking

Problem is OMac in lock-down means being five paces behind his direct opponent, still moving evasively around a pack of opposition forwards to avoid the crush and the defensive role that would be expected, and is so lead-footed that he does not break away from opponents when he has the ball, 4 times out of 5. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 12/1/2018 at 4:20 AM, faultydet said:

Finish 4th-5th after a slower than expected start to the season.

Not quite a Premiership side. We make the grand final if we play a Prelim in Melb, we don't if its interstate.

Weids to kick 50 including finals

List elevation for new rookie Kade Chandler, who plays a senior game in place of the slower Spargo

Marty Hore to debut very early. Lever to take until late season to return to seniors.

Sparrow to play, and immediately draw comparisons to Olli Wines (including his iffy kicking)

Steven May to be All-Australian

Kade Kolo is in and out of the side, with Hunt playing some games on the wing.

Preuss to look lost while resting in the Forward line, but to be good enough in the ruck to allow Max to have significant time resting forward, where he kicks 25+ goals for the year. Preuss doesn't play finals if Max is fit and in form.

Nathan Jones to begin his slide, and be lucky to hold his place by the end of the season.

2 or more 100+ point wins for the year

Only 1 loss over 45 points

Going backwards: N. Jones, ANB, Frost Spargo, Fritsch, Lewis

Stagnant, with people concerned we don't have the star we thought:  Petracca

Going forwards: Weideman (in a big way), Oscar, Harmes (Top 25 Brownlow)

Top 5 B&F

Viney, Oliver, Harmes, Gawn, May

Brayshaw to finish top 2 in Brownlow if he stays fit, even though only finishing top 10 in B&F

 

I think that's enough darts for now.

I don’t know whether i like that or not???

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 hours ago, Dee Dubya said:

Essendon defeats Collingwood in 1st Preliminary Final and advances to Grand Final. Melbourne defeats Geelong in the 2nd Preliminary Final by a whopping 187 points and proceeds to the Grand Final. We defeat the Bombers by 5 goals. Eddy produces documents that prove that Essendon used drugs on the day of the 1st Prelim and the result is subsequently reversed. AFL orders a Grand Final replay between Dee's and Magpies with the result being a draw at the final siren. After another 15 minutes of play, Melbourne goes on to defeat Collingwood by 1 point. In order to deflect from all the corruption scandals plaguing him, Prime Minister Bill Shorten announces MFC to be the greatest football team in history and all Melbourne supporters to receive free beer for the next 12 months. Malcolm Turnbull joins ALP and is made Deputy Prime Minister. Declares that he supports Bill Shorten 100%.

Just so wrong!! except for the last bit :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

 

The Demonland MFCSS crystal balls-up.

Little Charlie Spargo will collapse into an on-field coma after being denied a well-needed rest before round three, to be later diagnosed with late onset narcolepsy. The AFL will reintroduce a condition-specific sub-rule to cater to Charlie’s condition, only for the other clubs to take advantage of the new clause by pumping warm milk into their under-performing players through an IV drip at half-time. While the Bombers prove to be well ahead of the game, scandal will rock the AFL when Jay Kennedy-Harris is discovered with a tell-tale milk-moustache after exiting the main-break huddle.

Although Jayden Hunt will be banned for two years in the subsequent investigation after testing positive for Nippy’s, Clayton Oliver will escape sanction, with the judicial panel finding the submitted visual evidence of Clayton sporting a milk-moustache to be highly inconclusive. Oliver, however, will be one of the first humans on Earth to be officially recognised as a victim of global warming, succumbing to the 0.00000134-point rise on the ultra-violet index. His ashes will be left on the MCG in a moving but practical response to the tragedy. Pundits will say he should have altered his zink to banana-boat ratio.

There will be calls for Alex Neal-Bullen to be dropped before Easter. The proletarian MFC selectors will finally succumb to the demands of the self-anointed Demonland High Council, but when they approach Alex to inform him of his demotion, ANB will just run away, and just keep running, from coast-to-coast, an unlikely protagonist in all the nation-forming events to occur in Australia for the next 30 or so years. Sadly, Alex’s fumbly hand-eye co-ordination will prevent him from ever rising up as a world-champion talent at terrestrial ping-pong. 

The MFC is like a box of snakes.

As a senior leader of the club, and otherwise unavailable for the next 18 weeks due to an on-field incident which effectively ends Sam Frost’s career (of which the majority of Demonlanders will accept was a reasonable act under the circumstances), Jordan Lewis will be sent to chase after ANB, but will immediately and inexplicably fall over. As a senior citizen in general, the broken hip Lewis suffers in the fall will prove especially unfortunate, marking both the end of his own career and the beginning of a rapid terminal decline.

Stay tuned for further MFCSS crystal-ball updates direct your psyche in the coming pre-season weeks. Go Dees!

Edited by Skuit
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 minutes ago, Skuit said:

 

The Demonland MFCSS crystal balls-up.

Little Charlie Spargo will collapse into an on-field coma after being denied a well-needed rest before round three, to be later diagnosed with late onset narcolepsy. The AFL will reintroduce a condition-specific sub-rule to cater to Charlie’s condition, only for the other clubs to take advantage of the new clause by pumping warm milk into their under-performing players through an IV drip at half-time. While the Bombers prove to be well ahead of the game, scandal will rock the AFL when Jay Kennedy-Harris is discovered with a tell-tale milk-moustache after exiting the main-break huddle.

Although Jayden Hunt will be banned for two years in the subsequent investigation after testing positive for Nippy’s, Clayton Oliver will escape sanction, with the judicial panel finding the submitted visual evidence of Clayton sporting a milk-moustache to be highly inconclusive. Oliver, however, will be one of the first humans on Earth to be officially recognised as a victim of global warming, succumbing to the 0.00000134-point rise on the ultra-violet index. His ashes will be left on the MCG in a moving but practical response to the tragedy. Pundits will say he should have altered his zink to banana-boat ratio.

There will be calls for Alex Neal-Bullen to be dropped before Easter. The proletarian MFC selectors will finally succumb to the demands of the self-anointed Demonland High Council, but when they approach Alex to inform him of his demotion, ANB will just run away, and just keep running, from coast-to-coast, an unlikely protagonist in all the nation-forming events to occur in Australia for the next 30 or so years. Sadly, Alex’s fumbly hand-eye co-ordination will prevent him from ever rising up as a world-champion talent at terrestrial ping-pong. 

The MFC is like a box of snakes.

As a senior leader of the club, and otherwise unavailable for the next 18 weeks due to an on-field incident which effectively ends Sam Frost’s career (of which the majority of Demonlanders will accept was a reasonable act under the circumstances), Jordan Lewis will be sent to chase after ANB, but will immediately and inexplicably fall over. As a senior citizen in general, the broken hip Lewis suffers in the fall will prove especially unfortunate, marking both the end of his own career and the beginning of a rapid terminal decline.

Stay tuned for further MFCSS crystal-ball updates direct your psyche in the coming pre-season weeks. Go Dees!

WTF???

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, Sir Why You Little said:

WTF???

Sorry, I forgot to include you. SWYL will choke on a bitter artichoke. :)

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Here's a collection of crystal-shaming from an entire decade ago from the willing folk still overtly present here on Demonland:

Dappa Dan: Yze to win the brownlow.

Little Goffy: Into the eight with about 13 wins, win a home MCG final against an overated Collingwood

titan-uranus: Jones, McLean, Moloney to become the no. 1 midfield in the comp

Praha: We'll make finals.

Clint Bizket: Melbourne to finish 5th.

Please note: Melbourne finished 16th in 2008. Adam Cooney won the Brownlow ahead of Simon Black. Paul Wheatley finished in approximately 65th place as the highest MFC player with 5 votes.

 

  • Thanks 1
  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

45 minutes ago, Skuit said:

Here's a collection of crystal-shaming from an entire decade ago from the willing folk still overtly present here on Demonland:

Dappa Dan: Yze to win the brownlow.

Little Goffy: Into the eight with about 13 wins, win a home MCG final against an overated Collingwood

titan-uranus: Jones, McLean, Moloney to become the no. 1 midfield in the comp

Praha: We'll make finals.

Clint Bizket: Melbourne to finish 5th.

Please note: Melbourne finished 16th in 2008. Adam Cooney won the Brownlow ahead of Simon Black. Paul Wheatley finished in approximately 65th place as the highest MFC player with 5 votes.

 

That is a good read! :)

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Skuit said:

Sorry, I forgot to include you. SWYL will choke on a bitter artichoke. :)

You obviously had some excellent medication last night to be able to write such a detailed MFCSS appraisal Skuit... :)

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 12/6/2018 at 7:24 PM, Neil Crompton said:

In the dying seconds of the last quarter of the 2019 grand final, Nev leaves his man, races down field, steamrolls Dusty, picks up the ball and nails a snap from the forward flank to put us in front for the first time - and then the siren sounds.

Rekindles joyous memories of 1964.  Thanks 'Froggy'.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bump for any last minute predictions. Entries close 28 February.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I predict entries will close February 28th.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Not enough time. Oh why oh why aren't we in a leap year?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Melbourne to be inconsistent in the first 6 H&A rounds.

 jLever to return Rnd 8.

Melbourne to finish 2019 H&A season at 3rd position of the ladder.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

- One of Melbourne, Collingwood, Richmond and West Coast miss the top 4 (hope it isn't us)

- Adelaide get back to strong footy and make top 6

- Oliver wins our BnF, McDonald 2nd

- Weideman continues his growth, 30 goals +

- Hunt regains his spot

- Kolodjashnij has a great year and becomes on of our most important players as an outside mid 

- We lose in the prelim again (gut feel) 

- The Preuss/Gawn tandom is deemed a failure by round 4 

  • Sad 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

we start the year unsure of what our best defensive set up looks like and we end up going with playing the 3 talls in May, Frost and Oscar. which makes our defence too big and slow, plus they all proceed to get in each others way and we leak goals, before Goody realises by about R3 or 4 that that's pretty much what happened to us last year.

and so he then drops Oscar and brings in the smaller, more mobile Marty Hore instead, who then manages to keep his spot in the team for the rest of the year, even when Lever returns, because by then its also become apparent that Lewis is struggling more than ever to keep up with the pace of the game and needs to be permanently replaced in the backline.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Righto, here is whats going to happen......

 

We dont win the GF... Sorry.

Finish the home and away in 5th or 6th again, but fail to make the GF.

*Steven May to miss round 1 ( Thats still in the future so i say its not cheating :ph34r:)

*None of our young draftees play more than a handful of games

*Viney plays less than 15 games. Keeps getting injured.

 

*Oliver and Brayshaw to both finish top 20 in Brownlow, with one inside top 10. Oliver suspended at least once .

Weid drags out contract talk until end of the season.

*We dont score as many points as last year due to forward struggles.

*Preuss and Gawn together doesnt work. Preuss does give Max a "rest" in a couple of game though. (Not a big call)

*No 10 goal losses.

*A few 10 goal wins.

*Biggest improver = Joel Smith

*Slider = Nate Jones. (insert sadface)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, ding said:

Righto, here is whats going to happen......

 

We dont win the GF... Sorry.

Finish the home and away in 5th or 6th again, but fail to make the GF.

*Steven May to miss round 1 ( Thats still in the future so i say its not cheating :ph34r:)

*None of our young draftees play more than a handful of games

*Viney plays less than 15 games. Keeps getting injured.

 

*Oliver and Brayshaw to both finish top 20 in Brownlow, with one inside top 10. Oliver suspended at least once .

Weid drags out contract talk until end of the season.

*We dont score as many points as last year due to forward struggles.

*Preuss and Gawn together doesnt work. Preuss does give Max a "rest" in a couple of game though. (Not a big call)

*No 10 goal losses.

*A few 10 goal wins.

*Biggest improver = Joel Smith

*Slider = Nate Jones. (insert sadface)

Ding, you need to go back on your happy meds

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Social Media

  • Match Previews, Reports & Articles

    OVERPOWERED by George on the Outer

    If there was ever a prime example of a team of players not ready for the new Football season it was Melbourne in the opening round of 2019.   Throughout the field there was just too much evidence of players who haven’t had sufficient pre-season or players who ordinarily wouldn’t have even graced the field at this early stage.  The Demons also got a lesson on selection with Port Adelaide showing that 2 ruckmen on the field is an essential for this season.  It was a lesson that should have be

    Demonland
    Demonland |
    Match Reports

    THE WELCOME GAME by Whispering Jack

    The Melbourne Football Club has moved forward in leaps and bounds since it last met Port Adelaide in a totally forgettable (for Demon fans) season opener on the MCG.  That game, played on Sunday, 31 March, 2013 before a crowd of 22,924, was supposed to be a close encounter between two of the competition’s lesser lights from the previous season when the Power had finished 14th and the Demons 16th (ahead only of AFL newbies Gold Coast and GWS). It turned into a slaughter with Port taking the

    Demonland
    Demonland |
    Match Previews

    THE WALKING WOUNDED by Paddy Gosch

    Forget the fact that Melbourne narrowly missed out on getting the four JLT points on offer for a second consecutive week and the blow to the ego of a supposed top four contender losing ... well almost at home ... to a team that has recently dwelt in the AFL cellar and won a mere five games in 2018. The things that emerged from the horror final JLT outing was that the Demons are a long way from being prepared to take on the rigours of a long tough season in which they have one of the hardest fixt

    Demonland
    Demonland |
    Match Reports

    PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT by Paddy Gosch

    The Demons have named a star studded line up in it’s final practice match before the season proper. They take on the emerging Brisbane Lions out at Casey which is the second of three matches at the ground on Saturday. Many of the Dees best 22 have been recalled including Vice Captains Max Gawn and Neville Jetta whilst Captains Nathan Jones and Jack Viney will play restricted minutes in the VFL curtain raiser. Former Gold Coast co-captain Steven May will play his first official game for Melb

    Demonland
    Demonland |
    Match Previews

    HIT OUT by Paddy Gosch

    As far as preseason hit outs go, the Demons’ first JLT Community Series fixture against the Tigers in the blistering heat at Shepparton, was instructive of a number of things but not really conclusive as to how each team will fare in the regular season against the competition's big guns (which includes against each other). That’s the way these practice match hit outs go. Neither of the teams was at full strength, particularly Melbourne but if you were looking for the reason for the 12 point

    Demonland
    Demonland |
    Match Reports

    HOT OUT OF THE CITY by Paddy Gosch

    The Dees travel out of the city for game one of two JLT Community Series practice matches before the season proper. Our first match takes us to the floodplains of the Goldburn River in Northern Victoria to the city of Shepparton. We take on the Tigers for the first of at least 3 encounters with the 2017 Premiers this year. The game will be played in scorching temperatures so expect plenty of rotations, ice vests, fans running overtime and extra water carriers. The Demons are coming off a wi

    Demonland
    Demonland |
    Match Previews

    GAME, SET & SCRATCH by Paddy Gosch

    I always believe in starting off any report by accentuating the positive and in that regard, as at the time of writing, the Demons have not reported any injuries so that’s my major positive from today’s practice game v the Magpies (albeit that we know the club is somewhat lax in reporting these things so my best wishes go out if any of today’s participants are in intensive care at the Alfred).  Another positive was that Razor Ray performed his umpiring duties admirably which is more than I

    Demonland
    Demonland |
    Match Reports

    SCRATCH by Paddy Gosch

    The Demons are set to take on the old enemy Collingwood in a good old fashioned Scratch Match on Friday Morning. It is unknown what form the match will take, how many quarters there will be, their length, the amount of rotations or even whether they'll keep score. One thing we do know for sure is that both coaching staffs will be keeping their cards close to their chests to ensure neither will glean too much from their competition. The Dees will likely be without some of their stars as Tom

    Demonland
    Demonland |
    Match Previews

    IMAGINE by Whispering Jack

    The Demons made their official return to the training track for 2019 on a sunny Saturday morning at Goschs Paddock with most of the interest initially centred on a small patch of ground in one of the pockets where the rehab group was going through the paces. Some good pieces of news on that score. The  rehab group is considerably smaller than it was prior to the Christmas break with Christian Petracca (knee), James Harmes (shoulder), Jayden Hunt (shoulder), Neville Jetta (shoulder), Oscar M

    Demonland
    Demonland |
    Special Features

×
×
  • Create New...