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My grand final dilemma (carn maggots!)


P-man

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As a Melbourne fan I am used to watching grand finals as a neutral. I’ve seen grand finals where I’ve preferred one side to win than the other. I’ve also seen grand finals where I’ve been ambivalent about the outcome.

This year I’m faced with an uncomfortable scenario: loathing at the prospect of either side winning the flag.

Two well supported, well resourced clubs that have already won flags in recent years and whom we know are insufferable in the aftermath of winning. What a fairytale. Pass the tissues cause I’m choking up over here.

 No wait, it’s bile. False alarm.

I can’t bring myself to simply not care. Their fan bases alone are enough to put anyone off the idea.

West Coast - a sea of mindless booing drones, all wearing the exact same blue polo and blue cap they received when they upsized their meal at Hungry Jacks. They repulse me in a deep and meaningful way.

Collingwood - little need be said. We all know. One of my mates is one. Well, I say mate. He’s more a friend from high school that I’ve never managed to rid myself of. The thought of him tasting ultimate success again fills me with....what’s the opposite of joy? Seething hatred is in the ballpark..

Both teams have their fair share of unlikeable players. Taylor Adams on one side. Mark LeCras on the other. I thought I may have found the tiebreaker with the feel good story of Travis Varcoe. Then I remembered he plays with that tattooed ballbag Jeremy “omg I carry a photo of Bucks in my wallet!” Howe. No luck there.

I said in the post match that I’d be barracking for the umpires. On reflection, I think I’ll be barracking for the umpires mutating and going on a zombie feeding frenzy.  

Mason Cox being chased around the MCG by a zombie Razor Ray. That will placate me.

Pretty much anything that spares me from having to watch one of these muppet ensembles celebrating at the final siren, I will gladly accept.

If you can see an upside to either of these sides winning a premiership that has somehow escaped me, let me know.

If not, wake me up when this one is over. Or when the ground has opened up and swallowed all players and officials in one glorious gulp.

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I do most of my AFL social media on reddit's /r/AFL community, which is a pretty respectful place where boastful arrogance is downvoted and the highest upvoted comments from eagles fans today were genuine congratulatory messages for our year in the post match thread. "You should be proud of your team" "Bad day at the office but you had a ripper of a season", "It was a great season. Melbourne played some exciting footy this year." & "I was not expecting that performance from Melbourne but Richmond were the best team this season and I genuinely feel that Melbourne's best was equivalent to Richmond's best. As shitty as today is, it's not 186. Your boys will bounce back from this and raise the bar for themselves over the next couple of years."

I guess if you're judging a club by their vitriolic fans at a match, or idiots from bigfooty or facebook pages then you'll probably end up hating every single club vehemently, but only distinguishing who you hate least by the higher ratio of civil people to idiots. I'm running out of other clubs to want to win a premiership (Freo, StK) so I guess i'll jump on the Eagles. That egotistical Fratboy Mason Cox rubs me the wrong way, and so does my arrogant Collingwood supporting cousin.

Edited by johndemonic
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Eagles to stop Magpies winning their 16th flag to be equal top with Carlton and the much loathed Essendon. 

But the Magpies will get the benefit from the umpires.  Nothing would make Gill and Ch7 happier than a Magpies premiership.  Feel ill at the thought of all that FTA prime time black and white football next year.

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4 hours ago, P-man said:

As a Melbourne fan I am used to watching grand finals as a neutral. I’ve seen grand finals where I’ve preferred one side to win than the other. I’ve also seen grand finals where I’ve been ambivalent about the outcome.

This year I’m faced with an uncomfortable scenario: loathing at the prospect of either side winning the flag.

Two well supported, well resourced clubs that have already won flags in recent years and whom we know are insufferable in the aftermath of winning. What a fairytale. Pass the tissues cause I’m choking up over here.

 No wait, it’s bile. False alarm.

I can’t bring myself to simply not care. Their fan bases alone are enough to put anyone off the idea.

West Coast - a sea of mindless booing drones, all wearing the exact same blue polo and blue cap they received when they upsized their meal at Hungry Jacks. They repulse me in a deep and meaningful way.

Collingwood - little need be said. We all know. One of my mates is one. Well, I say mate. He’s more a friend from high school that I’ve never managed to rid myself of. The thought of him tasting ultimate success again fills me with....what’s the opposite of joy? Seething hatred is in the ballpark..

Both teams have their fair share of unlikeable players. Taylor Adams on one side. Mark LeCras on the other. I thought I may have found the tiebreaker with the feel good story of Travis Varcoe. Then I remembered he plays with that tattooed ballbag Jeremy “omg I carry a photo of Bucks in my wallet!” Howe. No luck there.

I said in the post match that I’d be barracking for the umpires. On reflection, I think I’ll be barracking for the umpires mutating and going on a zombie feeding frenzy.  

Mason Cox being chased around the MCG by a zombie Razor Ray. That will placate me.

Pretty much anything that spares me from having to watch one of these muppet ensembles celebrating at the final siren, I will gladly accept.

If you can see an upside to either of these sides winning a premiership that has somehow escaped me, let me know.

If not, wake me up when this one is over. Or when the ground has opened up and swallowed all players and officials in one glorious gulp.

Upsizing a meal at Hungry Jack to get a cap. Now that funny put a smile on my face. I hope the guy wearing a Dees scarf I ran into at Sydney airport this morning can laugh at that. Poor bloke left Perth at midnight after enduring a terrible game and hungry jacks cap wearing supporters. Poor man looked utterly shattered. Try to cheer him up but he still had a leg back to Melbourne hope he ok!

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I'm dreading listening to that borish forken Collll iinnngg woooood chant and I know plenty of Collingwoods supporters who will be unbearable if they win.
And I don't know a solitary Weagle supporter so .......... I'm avoiding all media and will find something else to do next saturday.
Just as I have since the cats and dawks continued to cherrypick their way to flags.

Thankfully I have the next 2 weeks off work.

Edited by Fork 'em
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5 hours ago, P-man said:

I said in the post match that I’d be barracking for the umpires. On reflection, I think I’ll be barracking for the umpires mutating and going on a zombie feeding frenzy.

Mason Cox being chased around the MCG by a zombie Razor Ray. That will placate me.

Are we talking 1970's George Romero Dawn of the Dead style zombies or 2004 Zack Snyder style zombies from the remake? With the latter at least the game will be over very quickly.

I have to work so I was going to miss it either way. 

Edited by Colin B. Flaubert
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11 minutes ago, Colin B. Flaubert said:

Are we talking 1970's George Romero Dawn of the Dead style zombies or 2004 Zack Snyder style zombies from the remake? With the latter at least the game will be over very quickly.

I have to work so I was going to miss it either way. 

Let’s go with 2004. A quick feed is a good feed.

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I just loathe the filth. That yank really pizzez me off. Eagles are not much better and their supporters are like leprosy. Really don't care who wins but if its the filth I will be hibernating.

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5 hours ago, bingers said:

I'm an MCC member. I've been to the last 15 or so GFs in a row. I have so little interest in this one I may not bother going this year.  I hate the filth marginally more than the Weagles, but it's a close call.

As am I and I have been to the grand finals since 2010. This year Im not going. I missed out in the ballot but im not queuing for a collingwood wc gf. 

If WC win then at least they can celebrate it back home and we don't have to hear about it, if the filth win we are going to have it rammed down our throats for weeks on end, can yo imagine the media coverage, seeing Ed carry on, Joffa and there feral fans. 

Plus Id hate to see De Goey, get a medal and also also Howe. I can imagine Howe saying I love this club and the boys, this is why I left melbourne. Sorry I know he is free to leave but players like Jones and gawn deserve a flag before him. 

Im actually contemplating going to sydney for the weekend to get out of melbourne. May go to the NRL grand final to support the storm. 

Ugh its going to be all black and white in the media this week. 

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48 minutes ago, dl4e said:

I just loathe the filth. That yank really pizzez me off. Eagles are not much better and their supporters are like leprosy. Really don't care who wins but if its the filth I will be hibernating.

eagles supporters are far worse, scum of the earth 

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Weather permitting, I shall be out in the boat fishing. 

Weather not permitting, I shall be going for a 4WD somewhere. 

Zero interest in what can aptly be described as the 2018 Gronk Final. 

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I have this dilemma as well.

My very nice, sympathetic Collingwood supporting but Melbourne member husband tells me that he is trying his best to get me a ticket to go with him to the GF.

I really, really do not want to go as I really despise Collingwood and dislike that American bloke plus I really dislike WC. I have a zero care factor about this game.

We go overseas the Monday after the GF so I am going to invent a crisis at work that needs my undivided attention all day Saturday and give the game a miss altogether. Think I will take myself shopping a buy a consolation prize for our team not making it.?

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