THE RECORD BREAKING DOG'S BREAKFAST ... by George on the Outer

[Demonland 64,641]

The sign above the crowd (if that is what you call the gathering in attendance at Etihad) proudly advertised dog food. And it certainly was a dog's breakfast for football fans, and one of undesirable records for the Demons.

The irony of watching Brad Scott thanking the Kangaroos' supposed 40K members surely would have been lost on the lousy 17K Melbourne and North supporters who bothered to turn up to watch the game (it would also cause you to envisage how many Melbourne supporters would have turned up to watch their team if they were playing in the finals next week).

Something tells me that the Roos are heavily into creative accounting ...

Anyway, back to the game:

In the first quarter North had three goals on the board, before Melbourne even got the ball into its forward half, let alone into the 50m arc. But the Demons mounted some sort of comeback and had leveled the score at the first bell ...

Good signs?

Well the second quarter was much the same, except that Melbourne shot to a 13 point lead early, only to be overtaken by North later in the term and the scores at half time remained locked at 53 all ... more good signs?

Well it all went for a pile of Werribee deposit in the third (yet again) as North piled on 5 goals to the Demons solitary 6 pointer ...

Game over.

The final quarter for the year saw Nathan Jones and no doubt the coach reminding players that this was it for 2014; just another 25 odd minutes, so give it your all. In what has become familiar to Demon supporters, the players responded by allowing North to kick the first two goals within two minutes ... thanks again fellas!

While the Demons kicked five for the quarter, it was all too late. Even Tom McDonald scored a pair which brought his all time tally to ... two goals! Still not bad considering he was playing in the backline. If he could only kick as straight while playing down there ...

The next challenge was to get to 100 points, but opportunities were squandered again and again, with a 93 point score still being the best output for the season, but still miserable by any measure. Its entirely possible that we did contribute more than 100 in this game, as a sizable proportion of the North goals came from absolute howlers from the Melbourne players.

Until we have players on the field who can kick straight or just kick, then we will see more of the same.

But that wasnt the only record to be broken or extended or worse still created on the night:

1. Melbourne went through the 2014 season without winning a single home game;

2. The Demons failed to kick 100 points in any game in 2014;

3. They have never won at this stadium since it was re-named Etihad;

4. It is 8 years since they have beaten North at any venue;

5. Thirteen successive losses to North and an 8-0 score line at Ethihad; and

6. Nine straight losses for the Demons to finish the season ... what is the argument against a priority pick because Im really having difficulty finding one.

Once again the stats sheet represented the best of our players. Along with Nathan Jones ( as usual) we find Dom Tyson, Daniel Cross and Bernie Vince holding down the possession numbers. It is a sad indictment to the rest of the side that these three players were not at the club last year. Three imports can have more effect on a game than the rest who have been here for a long time. Paul Roos has been able to up the output and improve the likes of Lynden Dunn, Neville Jetta and Cam Pedersen, but others such as James Frawley, Jack Watts and now Jeremy Howe have taken the "disinterested pills" and may find themselves in other colours next year. None will be missed as they have not contributed in any meaningful way this season.

And next season already looks like starting badly. Dawes will surely catch the unfavourable attention of the MRP with an elbow to the head of Swallow, and Max Gawn went down early in the game with yet another knee injury.

With such a portentious start to 2015, we could be in for more dog's breakfast games ahead, and the potential to set some new records for underperformance.

Unless we can start using the bean-counters at North to massage the numbers in the same way as they have done with their membership!

Melbourne 4.3.27 8.5.53 9.7.61 14.9.93

North Melbourne 4.3.27 8.5.53 13.9.87 19.9.123

Goals

Melbourne Kent 3 Dawes Fitzpatrick McDonald Tyson 2 Dunn Jamar Vince

North Melbourne Turner 4 Brown Wood 3 Ziebell 2 Adams Atley Bastinac Currie Dal Santo Mullett Petrie

Best

Melbourne Tyson, Jones Dawes Cross McDonald Kent

North Melbourne Turner, Swallow Petrie Brown Atley Thompson

Changes

Melbourne Christian Salem (ill) replaced in the selected side by Dom Barry

North Melbourne Nil

Injuries

Melbourne Gawn (knee)

North Melbourne Grima (quad) Hansen (hip) Adams (concussion)

Reports

Melbourne Nil

North Melbourne Nil

Umpires Justin Schmitt Jordan Bannister Brendan Hosking

Crowd 17,174 at Etihad Stadium

[Nineteen 159]

Appreciate the truths that are in this article .... but surely we should have articles aired here that are some element of supportive to the club.

No arguement with the broad sentiment but this information damages my/your club. Is that what is intended?

How could anyone considering adopting an AFL club, read that article, & decide to become a Demon?

I am asking that Demonland takes a more corporate approach & [regardless of the shared pain] spin a more positive message.

[Trisul 636]

I'd much prefer an organic growth in positivity based on an appreciation of the facts vs more (ultimately destructive) spin.

Then again, maybe Demonland could learn something from Bomberblitz.

[Little Goffy 12,546]

I'd much prefer an organic growth in positivity based on an appreciation of the facts vs more (ultimately destructive) spin.

Then again, maybe Demonland could learn something from Bomberblitz.

Pow!

I'll be singing when we're winning. I don't want some 'Soap production has increased by 84% this year, can I borrow your soap?' mentality to creep into (further into?) Demon culture.

Y'know why Singapore fell so easily?

Because 'everything is fine'.

[poita 3,573]

Appreciate the truths that are in this article .... but surely we should have articles aired here that are some element of supportive to the club.

No arguement with the broad sentiment but this information damages my/your club. Is that what is intended?

How could anyone considering adopting an AFL club, read that article, & decide to become a Demon?

I am asking that Demonland takes a more corporate approach & [regardless of the shared pain] spin a more positive message.

That's what the club website is for. The fans are entitled to their opinions, free from the restraints of being tied to head office.