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35 minutes ago, old dee said:

Grapefruit bb! That is the greatest waste of stomach space since tripe. That is of course if you can get it past your tongue.

Grapefruit juice is bitter, cleansing and accordingly to Uncle very refreshing after a good flogging.

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32 minutes ago, hemingway said:

Grapefruit juice is bitter, cleansing and accordingly to Uncle very refreshing after a good flogging.

makes for a decent daiquiri eh Ernest ?

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2 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Don't know about od but I'm rather partial to a sweet little peach on occasion.

nicely shaped melons get my vote, uncle

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On 02/09/2017 at 0:13 PM, Redleg said:

They would have more luck training down an igloo in the sahara.

Land cruiser?

Not sure they deserve either a Land Cruiser or a Igloo. They are just too soft as it is.

 

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2 hours ago, daisycutter said:

nicely shaped melons get my vote, uncle

Of course dc, however, I also understand you have a penchant for well ripened, some might say overripe fruit.

Arrh well .... far be it from me to cast nasturtiums!!! 

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2 hours ago, daisycutter said:

nicely shaped melons get my vote, uncle

Did you know that a Rockmelon is a Gourd?

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54 minutes ago, Redleg said:

Did you know that a Rockmelon is a Gourd?

That could be useful.

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2 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Of course dc, however, I also understand you have a penchant for well ripened, some might say overripe fruit.

Arrh well .... far be it from me to cast nasturtiums!!! 

like a good wine, uncle, i prefer to think of it terms of maturity and i find your comments crassly gratuitous

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How long has it been since you gave the old prunes a go DC?

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1 hour ago, daisycutter said:

like a good wine, uncle, i prefer to think of it terms of maturity and i find your comments crassly gratuitous

Schoolboy humour dc _ that's all ive got.

Well ... plus some whips .. and some decent rattans I suppose ... and of course specialist apparatus .... and well ....  arrh sometimes I'm such a shallow person.

Time to open another red!

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1 hour ago, Biffen said:

How long has it been since you gave the old prunes a go DC?

More like sultanas Biff 

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1 hour ago, Biffen said:

How long has it been since you gave the old prunes a go DC?

Posted an hour ago.

No response yet.

Must be on the job now, getting prunes juiced.

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55 minutes ago, Moonshadow said:

More like sultanas Biff 

Or raisins rattling around in a chaff bag.

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3 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Or raisins rattling around in a chaff bag.

Had some raisins in my salad at lunch today. Hope they weren't from dc's batch. Did leave a slightly bad taste

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23 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Or raisins rattling around in a chaff bag.

apricots please, uncle. i know you are a hayseed but at least pretend you have some culcha. ..chaff bags,......so rustic.

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I don't suppose any of you bastards will care but uncle is having another bad week.

   Still haven't recovered from the debacle with the filth

  The lads are unsettled since dc's vile accusations 

  The dogs are [censored] inside The Manor due to the inclement weather

  Neither the maid nor the squeeze will sleep with me

AND

  The tinea has returned

FMD it's a cruel world.

And ...what's more ................ I discovered today that some D'landers actually have the temerity to have me on ignore.

 

 

Edited by Bitter but optimistic
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4 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

I don't suppose any of you bastards will care but uncle is having another bad week.

   Still haven't recovered from the debacle with the filth

  The lads are unsettled since dc's vile accusations 

  The dogs are [censored] inside The Manor due to the inclement weather

  Neither the maid nor the squeeze will sleep with me

AND

  The tinea has returned

FMD it's a cruel world.

 

 

i can emphasise, uncle. it must be frustrating to be a teacher these days with corporal punishment not allowed

to cheer you up i pm'ed special robert and told him of your misery. said he would hitchhike up to romsey tonight to cheer you up. that's what friends are for

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1 minute ago, daisycutter said:

i can emphasise, uncle. it must be frustrating to be a teacher these days with corporal punishment not allowed

to cheer you up i pm'ed special robert and told him of your misery. said he would hitchhike up to romsey tonight to cheer you up. that's what friends are for

Thanks for your "support" dc.

However, I must set the record straight. I am longer in that esteemed profession - I am a gentleman of retirement. Actually it was a misunderstanding surrounding the corporal punishment matter that lead to it. I thought that young female teacher deserved a jolly good spanking.... err ....... anyway best leave that story.

Unfortunately, despite his exertions, "Special" wont be admitted. Security have specific instructions to keep persons of poverty away from The Manor.

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38 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

I don't suppose any of you bastards will care but uncle is having another bad week.

   Still haven't recovered from the debacle with the filth

  The lads are unsettled since dc's vile accusations 

  The dogs are [censored] inside The Manor due to the inclement weather

  Neither the maid nor the squeeze will sleep with me

AND

  The tinea has returned

FMD it's a cruel world.

And ...what's more ................ I discovered today that some D'landers actually have the temerity to have me on ignore.

 

 

First world problems, fella.

I do like how you began by referring to yourself in the 3rd person. All class

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29 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Thanks for your "support" dc.

However, I must set the record straight. I am longer in that esteemed profession - I am a gentleman of retirement. Actually it was a misunderstanding surrounding the corporal punishment matter that lead to it. I thought that young female teacher deserved a jolly good spanking.... err ....... anyway best leave that story.

Unfortunately, despite his exertions, "Special" wont be admitted. Security have specific instructions to keep persons of poverty away from The Manor.

Hopefully when Tony and Corey and Eric convince their colleagues to declare all perverts and degenerates fodder for banishment to Nauru and such like Australia will become a better and safer place. Especially Demonland. Can you guarantee that once you are banished you won't hop on a boat?????Beware if you do, Corey and his gang will guarantee that Perverts, Muslims and Gays will no longer be able to access our fair democratic land. Then again, you can get either Robert Richter or that Human rights pervert Robinson to state your case.

Look, I don't like you just because of your Photo. I'll now get Eric Abetz to make sure you get deported and banned for life. I think the USA, or, Sodom and Gomorrah is your gig.

Edited by dieter

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I can't emphasise enough how much we need to empathise. I just can't :rolleyes:

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16 hours ago, dieter said:

 

Look, I don't like you just because of your Photo. I'll now get Eric Abetz to make sure you get deported and banned for life. I think the USA, or, Sodom and Gomorrah is your gig.

Well Skinny, they are certainly bucket list destinations for a visit but I wouldn't want to live there.

Too much salt. It would play havoc with my blood pressure.

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2 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Well Skinny, they are certainly bucket list destinations for a visit but I wouldn't want to live there.

Too much salt. It would play havoc with my blood pressure.

Who you callin skinny?

 

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40 minutes ago, dieter said:

Who you callin skinny?

 

I think it's called 'irony' Ditto

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